Newcastle Top The Failing To Score English Club Rankings

This post was written for The Mag and appeared on their website in April.
“They weren’t bad people. They let me eat, they let me sleep, they gave me my life”— A hostage from Flight 847
‘Stockholm Syndrome’ is a condition whereby a victim begins to empathise with the person abusing them, Wikipedia says victims sometimes get “to the point of defending and identifying with them.”
It goes on to say, “These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness.  Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the ego defends itself. When a victim believes the same values as the aggressor, they cease to be a threat. Roughly 8% of victims show evidence of Stockholm syndrome.”
Reading the views of a minority of Newcastle fans on The Mag, Twitter, forums and so on, I am convinced that the only people that remain defending Alan Pardew are textbook examples of Stockholm Syndrome.  Newcastle United’s 8%.
Pardew has provided Newcastle fans with their heaviest home defeat in 87 years, the worst run of defeats in Newcastle’s Premier League history, consecutive 3 nil embarrassments at the feet of the Mackems, three, four and five goal defeats to Hull, Man U, Spurs, Everton (twice), Southampton, Swansea, Chelsea and Man City.
Supporters defending that can only be doing so in the mistaken, psychologically induced state of mind whereby handing Swansea their first away win in 13 attempts, by just one injury time goal on Saturday, has come as some sort of twisted relief from the truly horrific batterings, which they pathetically want to show appreciation to their captor for.
Like a beaten puppy cowering in a dank corner afraid to make eye contact with any human, preferring to starve rather than even ask for food, in case they take another kicking.
The stream of statistics has been never ending.  Here’s another though.  Pardew has managed to get his team failing to score in almost three quarters of games (71%)  No one else in English league football has a record so bad.  If you buy a ticket for 4 Newcastle games (What will that cost? At least £120+) you’re likely to see them score just once.  You might think some other truly awful club will be running us close on that recent record, but no, they aren’t.
failing to score
The next closest is Wycombe Wanderers but they’ve been scoring just shy of a goal every 2 games.  I’m sure the tickets are cheaper there as well.
This is utterly lamentable stuff.
His defenders have one argument.  It’s all down to Mike Ashley.  Accepting the argument that Pardew is a victim too, lets him off lightly.  It puts him in the same boat as the rest of us fans.
Although he dedicates what wins we do achieve to Mike Ashley, although he blames the fans and press, while we legitimately ridicule his tactics, his motivational skills and his organisational ability, although he has full control of the team of proven quality players and the power to make changes while we have no power but to sit mute on the sidelines, being scolded by media pundits whenever we choose to even express dissatisfaction.
The notion that wider forces acting on the aggressor have forced them into their own hopeless predicament and pushed them to act against their own victim, is classic Stockholm.  Of course, it’s not justifiable.  Pardew has his own choices and must live with the consequences of his choices.  If he wants to work in such a high profile role under Ashley’s conditions, he has to show himself capable of doing so. As long as we, as his victims, meekly accept whatever disgraceful excuse for performances he throws at us, then we fully deserve everything we do get.
Note:  I have no mental health qualifications. If you believe you are suffering from the condition or have any questions on the validity of my analogy, please take that up with your local National Health Service professionals.

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