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Groundhog

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About Groundhog

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  1. Old fella's sick of his lass so finds a hitman to knock her off "How ye ganna dee her in?" he asks "Simple," replies the hitman "shoot her just below the left nipple!" "F**k off man.." cries the old bloke "...I want her killed, not f**kin kneecapped!!!" Back on topic..... Yes they can be friends but if 1 has any carnal desires on the other, @ some point, someones gonna get hurt.........unless they both go for it, tho but
  2. Thumping folk is old school tbh. 118358[/snapback] I know, of course in a civilised world we should engage in debate to right our wrongs but sometimes, just sometimes.......................................... ......you just have to smack the c**ts. Its a life lesson, you'll learn it someday, but I hope not.
  3. Used to work @ Pilgrim St Fire stn which is built on top of an old cemetary. Many of the staff have seen ghosts. Figures appearing from nowhere then dissappearing thru walls, I kid you not. I was on nights 1 time and managed to get my head down in a roon downstairs. I don't know why I woke up but in the dim light I clearly saw an old man, with a grey beard, wearing a long smock standing by my bed. I foookin dropped 1, I can tell you, but remained calm & just lay there. He seemed to look around then filtered away......FACT. Was in another room 1 night & the c**ts had put a hoover under me bed on a timer. 3'o'clock in the morning & my sheets are brown
  4. Sometimes when people get hurt its entirely correct. Example1. Mate at work's wife has to wear a wig ( medical condition so worthy of sympathy ). They're on holiday and spend the time by the pool, as you do. Bless her she takes her syrup off to gan have a dip. Puts it back on later . My mate notices a pair of German couples behind, sniggering in a very German way. 1 of the kraut blokes in particular is cracking jokes and gesticullating about the wig thing. His lass susses out straight away that he's angry about something so he tells her it's nowt & he's a bit tired, blah, blah. He lies there getting proper mad, trying to calm himself down with a few swallies then sees said Hun gan to the netty. " Time for a piss" he tells himself. Waits a bit then follows. As soon as he got in he turned & shut the door. German geezer turns round, knob in hand and instantly knows his time's up...........bang........sparkers.....!! My mate calmly walks out gets him & the wife a cocktail and tells her he loves her. ps German don't come out for 15 mins, then they all scarper. Example2 Another mate's wife has an encounter with a road rage bloke giving her total grief to the point where she's in bits. Weeks later they're driving round & she spots him & tells hubby " thats the bloke" etc, etc. He clocks the bloke and says nowt. Weeks later again, he's driving along & sees the same bloke @ the cashpoint. Parks the car gans over, when the bloke turns round......bang.....sparkers.....!! Discuss........or not
  5. I've seen BORO WORLD........ ............pass it regularly on the A19
  6. Aye, I remembered. I don't get to kip tho 102407[/snapback] Shhhh!!....Nice to see you & your side-kick Gemmil are still ruling the roost, Back on topic, I always wanted to be a teacher, might still go for it actually.
  7. yep Morale in our dept is pretty rock bottom at the min. most of the canny lasses have left to got to walk in centres, GP surgerys or to become ECPs and im left with the dregs who have about as much personality as my arse hair. No more nights, weekends and plenty holidays for me now 102397[/snapback] Oh aye - cos teachings a breeze Just you wait! Nah, good luck - I know what you mean about the nursing. The most exciting thing I've done tonight is order some new theatre shoes. They are pink mind.... 102399[/snapback] my.oh,my, aint you at work Cat? How come you've time to sit on the net? 102402[/snapback] I work in theatre so it's only emergencies, caesarians and nasty RTA's. We just sit and wait............... 102404[/snapback] Only joking, you might remember I'm a fireman, we've got the net' @ work now, altho' on a busy night shift......cough....splutter...
  8. yep Morale in our dept is pretty rock bottom at the min. most of the canny lasses have left to got to walk in centres, GP surgerys or to become ECPs and im left with the dregs who have about as much personality as my arse hair. No more nights, weekends and plenty holidays for me now 102397[/snapback] Oh aye - cos teachings a breeze Just you wait! Nah, good luck - I know what you mean about the nursing. The most exciting thing I've done tonight is order some new theatre shoes. They are pink mind.... 102399[/snapback] my.oh,my, aint you at work Cat? How come you've time to sit on the net?
  9. How about this bloke............. got into a fight with this bloke...... cos he had oil, he couldnt get his hands on it and it lost him, his family and his friends loads of money. So he told his kid........... ......to go and cause as much f*****G havoc as possible. Revenge is a dish best eaten cold.
  10. If you believe the NOTW then this sort of thing should come as no suprise
  11. Apparently sang at thier last game........( mods may wish to add a disclaimer ) "Sol, sol wherever you may be, Not long now till lunacy, And we won't give a fcuk when you're hanging from a tree, You judas c*nt with HIV"
  12. You think he's bad.....check these parent's out.... chainsaw massacre
  13. There's nothing worse than having to have a quick shave before work/date/funeral & having to cover your face with tiny little pieces of bog roll, twatsville
  14. Here's a topic, after years of browsing, that I can help with I swear blind this made my blades last that much longer but this beauty, as advised by my now ex-lass, bless her, has surpassed all records. Not only does it provide a good veneer before shaving I don't bleed or spot like I used to...... p.s. don't lash out on the blokes products, just buy the soap, lather up & shave, lasts for ages too. FACT