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Rancid TurdsI seem to be a master


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#1
Smooth Operator

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I've taken to taking all my sit down browns at work these days due to the rancidity of my anal offerings. To release this in my household bog would simply be foolish. Although i'm buggered at a weekend

You can visibly see the U-bend choke as it tries to deal with the latest sit down brown!

And then cos I'm blessed with a hairy ring, I have to wait at least 10 minutes for all the tit bits to pass through the pubes, it's akin to the scene in King Kong where Kong and the T-Rex's are slipping through the vines!
You used to get it in your fishnets,
Now you only get it in your nightdress,
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness,
Landed in a very common crisis.

#2
manc-mag

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Smooth Operator, on Jan 12 2006, 12:17 PM, said:

I've taken to taking all my sit down browns at work these days due to the rancidity of my anal offerings. To release this in my household bog would simply be foolish. Although i'm buggered at a weekend

You can visibly see the U-bend choke as it tries to deal with the latest sit down brown!

And then cos I'm blessed with a hairy ring, I have to wait at least 10 minutes for all the tit bits to pass through the pubes, it's akin to the scene in King Kong where Kong and the T-Rex's are slipping through the vines!

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That should back you up again nicely til the Monday though.
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#3
Radgina

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Smooth Operator, on Jan 12 2006, 11:17 AM, said:

I've taken to taking all my sit down browns at work these days due to the rancidity of my anal offerings. To release this in my household bog would simply be foolish. Although i'm buggered at a weekend

You can visibly see the U-bend choke as it tries to deal with the latest sit down brown!

And then cos I'm blessed with a hairy ring, I have to wait at least 10 minutes for all the tit bits to pass through the pubes, it's akin to the scene in King Kong where Kong and the T-Rex's are slipping through the vines!

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The bogs are bad enough at work without you blocking them with your junior Bonga turds.....you dirty young man :)
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#4
sweetleftpeg

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:)

My mate went through a stage of having strange shits. I was at his house once when he dissapeared for 5 minutes before giving me a shout. He says 'have a look at this' directing me to the toilet before finishing with 'me shits green.' Lovely.
Shit the bed.

#5
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You are what you eat.

#6
MrBass

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Smooth Operator, on Jan 12 2006, 12:17 PM, said:

I've taken to taking all my sit down browns at work these days due to the rancidity of my anal offerings. To release this in my household bog would simply be foolish. Although i'm buggered at a weekend

You can visibly see the U-bend choke as it tries to deal with the latest sit down brown!

And then cos I'm blessed with a hairy ring, I have to wait at least 10 minutes for all the tit bits to pass through the pubes, it's akin to the scene in King Kong where Kong and the T-Rex's are slipping through the vines!

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That's very special.  :)
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#7
MrBass

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alex, on Jan 12 2006, 12:26 PM, said:

You are what you eat.

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I don't think he eats his rancid turds tbh.

Perhaps, "you are what you shit" would be more apt?
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#8
manc-mag

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Apparently if you have to wipe (much) then you're not eating the right stuff to begin with.  :)
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#9
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sweetleftpeg, on Jan 12 2006, 11:24 AM, said:

:)

My mate went through a stage of having strange shits. I was at his house once when he dissapeared for 5 minutes before giving me a shout. He says 'have a look at this' directing me to the toilet before finishing with 'me shits green.' Lovely.

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Sounds like his billirubin excretion is fucked. How is your mate now - still alive?

#10
sweetleftpeg

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Renton, on Jan 12 2006, 12:29 PM, said:

Sounds like his billirubin excretion is fucked. How is your mate now - still alive?

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Very much so I'm afraid. He never did mention it again, although his farts smell like Popcorn, is that bad?
Shit the bed.

#11
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sweetleftpeg, on Jan 12 2006, 11:33 AM, said:

Renton, on Jan 12 2006, 12:29 PM, said:

Sounds like his billirubin excretion is fucked. How is your mate now - still alive?

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Very much so I'm afraid. He never did mention it again, although his farts smell like Popcorn, is that bad?

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I'd imagine that was quite a good thing actually, especially if he gets wind in the cinema.

#12
Radgina

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manc-mag, on Jan 12 2006, 11:29 AM, said:

Apparently if you have to wipe (much) then you're not eating the right stuff to begin with.  :)

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three wipes is supposedly the correct amount for "healthy" turdage removal  :)
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#13
sweetleftpeg

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Renton, on Jan 12 2006, 12:34 PM, said:

sweetleftpeg, on Jan 12 2006, 11:33 AM, said:

Renton, on Jan 12 2006, 12:29 PM, said:

Sounds like his billirubin excretion is fucked. How is your mate now - still alive?

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Very much so I'm afraid. He never did mention it again, although his farts smell like Popcorn, is that bad?

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I'd imagine that was quite a good thing actually, especially if he gets wind in the cinema.

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UCI employ him on a Saturday night, he just stands there and farts and 5 miuntes later 3/4 of the cinema are queueing for Sweet Popcorn.
Shit the bed.

#14
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MrBass, on Jan 12 2006, 12:28 PM, said:

alex, on Jan 12 2006, 12:26 PM, said:

You are what you eat.

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I don't think he eats his rancid turds tbh.

Perhaps, "you are what you shit" would be more apt?

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Unlike you, I wasn't implying he is a rancid turd tbh.

#15
manc-mag

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Radgina, on Jan 12 2006, 12:34 PM, said:

manc-mag, on Jan 12 2006, 11:29 AM, said:

Apparently if you have to wipe (much) then you're not eating the right stuff to begin with.  :)

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three wipes is supposedly the correct amount for "healthy" turdage removal  :)

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In English law a man is justified in divorcing a woman if she requires more than one. FACT!

Edited by manc-mag, 12 January 2006 - 11:37 AM.

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#16
MrBass

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alex, on Jan 12 2006, 12:35 PM, said:

MrBass, on Jan 12 2006, 12:28 PM, said:

alex, on Jan 12 2006, 12:26 PM, said:

You are what you eat.

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I don't think he eats his rancid turds tbh.

Perhaps, "you are what you shit" would be more apt?

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Unlike you, I wasn't implying he is a rancid turd tbh.

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Oh... my bad!  :)
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#17
Guest_alex_*

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MrBass, on Jan 12 2006, 12:36 PM, said:

alex, on Jan 12 2006, 12:35 PM, said:

MrBass, on Jan 12 2006, 12:28 PM, said:

alex, on Jan 12 2006, 12:26 PM, said:

You are what you eat.

View Post


I don't think he eats his rancid turds tbh.

Perhaps, "you are what you shit" would be more apt?

View Post

Unlike you, I wasn't implying he is a rancid turd tbh.

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Oh... my bad!  :)

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:)

#18
sweetleftpeg

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manc-mag, on Jan 12 2006, 12:36 PM, said:

Radgina, on Jan 12 2006, 12:34 PM, said:

manc-mag, on Jan 12 2006, 11:29 AM, said:

Apparently if you have to wipe (much) then you're not eating the right stuff to begin with.  :)

View Post



three wipes is supposedly the correct amount for "healthy" turdage removal  :)

View Post


In English law a man is justified in divorcing a woman if she requires more than one. FACT!

View Post


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Shit the bed.

#19
Smooth Operator

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manc-mag, on Jan 12 2006, 11:22 AM, said:

Smooth Operator, on Jan 12 2006, 12:17 PM, said:

I've taken to taking all my sit down browns at work these days due to the rancidity of my anal offerings. To release this in my household bog would simply be foolish. Although i'm buggered at a weekend

You can visibly see the U-bend choke as it tries to deal with the latest sit down brown!

And then cos I'm blessed with a hairy ring, I have to wait at least 10 minutes for all the tit bits to pass through the pubes, it's akin to the scene in King Kong where Kong and the T-Rex's are slipping through the vines!

View Post


That should back you up again nicely til the Monday though.

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As Meenzer will comfirm, that I guess would  only make it worse, the constant stretching of the anus would surely loosen it up and shit could theoretically just fall out unexpected.

You could be on the frozen ailse at Adsa say and bingo, you push your trolley through your own turd without even realising! Scary!
You used to get it in your fishnets,
Now you only get it in your nightdress,
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness,
Landed in a very common crisis.

#20
manc-mag

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sweetleftpeg, on Jan 12 2006, 12:38 PM, said:

manc-mag, on Jan 12 2006, 12:36 PM, said:

Radgina, on Jan 12 2006, 12:34 PM, said:

manc-mag, on Jan 12 2006, 11:29 AM, said:

Apparently if you have to wipe (much) then you're not eating the right stuff to begin with.  :)

View Post



three wipes is supposedly the correct amount for "healthy" turdage removal  :)

View Post


In English law a man is justified in divorcing a woman if she requires more than one. FACT!

View Post


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:)

I can honestly say I've not 'known' any girl thats needed three wipes. They're in and out of there like lightning. Quite right too.

This Radgina character sounds like a right scruffy get tbh.
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