i'll kick it off with CT:
Last seen waddling around Boldon Asda, his trolley overflowing with bottles of craft ale, frozen pizzas, duck meat, cherry tomatoes, tubs of margarine and cans of slimfast.
Since falling in with the wrong crowd, he has allegedly developed an addiction to bong. Luckily, he did a cracking deal with his supplier and his beast build on Kodi is still working like a dream so he can contentedly puff away on his £1k an ounce weed in front of his favourite romcoms.
Still boring his taxi customers to tears with tales of how he sat in the Gallowgate end in the 1980s, he has apparently moved on from metal detecting, which he eventually realised was a tedious pastime. His new hobby is compiling vintage lawnmowers.
Upon leaving Asda, he was asked to sign an autograph as Jar Jar Binks by a young Star Wars fan.