139 replies to this topic

[Dr Kenneth Noisewater]

peasepud, on Apr 3 2006, 08:18 PM, said:

admittedly after a few of those Cheeky Vimtos you make then the fact you have a cat litter tray beside the bog is handy

Jonny2J, on Apr 3 2006, 08:21 PM, said:

Par example, the otherday while having a piss in me dressing gown, mid piss the gown came crashing down whacking off the old trouser snake causing a bit of a splash, however i managed to rectify the situation but it does happen 

  

[Papa Lazaru]

Matt, on Apr 3 2006, 07:23 PM, said:

Jonny2J, on Apr 3 2006, 07:21 PM, said:

Par example, the otherday while having a piss in me dressing gown, mid piss the gown came crashing down whacking off the old trouser snake causing a bit of a splash, however i managed to rectify the situation but it does happen 

Not to Gem. He's the best pisser there is. Nothing can stop him finding his target.

In fact he became so perfect at it, that it retracted and he's turned into a woman  

[Matt]

I have to say I can't imagine not cleaning up something on the bog. That's just rank.

The worst miss you can have is if some should fall under Bog Seat Bridge, requiring absorbent material to reside therein for more than just a moment, so that all of the wayward projective be gathered for disposal.

[catmag]

Come on then lads - let's have your stories of pissing where you shouldn't have done.  

Mate of mine woke up in the night after being out on the piss, stumbled to the bathroom (or so he thought) only to have his mam turn the light on which woke him up properly and he realised he was watering the pot plant on the landing  

Edited by catmag, 03 April 2006 - 07:26 PM.

[Matt]

Only time I've pissed in a non-toilet area would be when out walking, when there's little other option.

That and the sink in my room in my first year at Uni. Middle of the night, still half-pissed and bursting? It was a godsend.

[Dr Kenneth Noisewater]

Matt, on Apr 3 2006, 08:23 PM, said:

Jonny2J, on Apr 3 2006, 07:21 PM, said:

Par example, the otherday while having a piss in me dressing gown, mid piss the gown came crashing down whacking off the old trouser snake causing a bit of a splash, however i managed to rectify the situation but it does happen 

Not to Gem. He's the best pisser there is. Nothing can stop him finding his target.

He's the urinating equivalent of those laser-guided bombs that can be guided through a window or down an air vent from 5 miles away.

[to dumb]

Gemmill, on Apr 3 2006, 08:17 PM, said:

I dunno like.  That sounds a bit effeminate to me.  And if you don't sit down, do you just find yourself dropping logs on the floor behind you or something - how are you not anticipating shit?

  Aye, the girlfriend's very pleased with the lack of splashes on the seat, but a little disconcerted by having wade through shit to get to it.

It just saves me sitting down if I do need to, although I appreciate that my effeminate behavior could be something of a dissappointment to you.

[Gemmill]

Dressing gowns and belts can both cause problems, but I think I realised this before the age of, hmmmm, say 10, so I've taught myself not to piss on them as well, or divert the flow by hitting them.  Seriously, some of you lot are fucking retarded.

Besides, you don't get rancid floorboards from the odd dressing gown incident.  That sounds to me like persistent offending on a monumental scale.

[peasepud]

emmmm has anyone else somehow (while sitting for a crap) managed to get the little fella pointing straight ahead and piss straight through the gap between the seat and porcelain?

It goes like a fountain straight ahead (allegedly, according to me mate )

[Jonny2J]

catmag, on Apr 3 2006, 07:25 PM, said:

Come on then lads - let's have your stories of pissing where you shouldn't have done. 

Mate of mine woke up in the night after being out on the piss, stumbled to the bathroom (or so he thought) only to have his mam turn the light on which woke him up properly and he realised he was watering the pot plant on the landing 

Well there's the old half a pint of piss and lager which me mate fell for


And i won a 10er once seeing if i could piss high enough while drunk while peering from this wall into this postbox... foul i know  

[to dumb]

Dr Kenneth Noisewater, on Apr 3 2006, 08:28 PM, said:

He's the urinating equivalent of those laser-guided bombs that can be guided through a window or down an air vent from 5 miles away.

The only thing smart about him is his tackle tbh.

[Jonny2J]

peasepud, on Apr 3 2006, 07:28 PM, said:

emmmm has anyone else somehow (while sitting for a crap) managed to get the little fella pointing straight ahead and piss straight through the gap between the seat and porcelain?

It goes like a fountain straight ahead (allegedly, according to me mate )

Now that is a bastard
    

[Gemmill]

Domestic God tbh.

[catmag]

Jonny2J, on Apr 3 2006, 08:28 PM, said:

Well there's the old half a pint of piss and lager which me mate fell for

Yeeeeurgh

[catmag]

Gemmill, on Apr 3 2006, 08:30 PM, said:

Domestic God tbh.

Aye, now you've got a dishwasher  

[Jonny2J]

Gemmill, on Apr 3 2006, 07:30 PM, said:

Domestic God tbh.

TBH  

[Happy Face]

peasepud, on Apr 3 2006, 08:28 PM, said:

emmmm has anyone else somehow (while sitting for a crap) managed to get the little fella pointing straight ahead and piss straight through the gap between the seat and porcelain?

It goes like a fountain straight ahead (allegedly, according to me mate )

Can't see it happening without a stott on like, and surely you can anticipate that.

[Matt]

peasepud, on Apr 3 2006, 07:28 PM, said:

emmmm has anyone else somehow (while sitting for a crap) managed to get the little fella pointing straight ahead and piss straight through the gap between the seat and porcelain?

It goes like a fountain straight ahead (allegedly, according to me mate )

Can't say I have.

Should get 10 bonus points on "I Spy While Pissing" for that one.

Also, 5 points for managing to move a clip-on bog freshener more than quarter of the way round the bowl.

[Jonny2J]

Matt, on Apr 3 2006, 07:32 PM, said:

Also, 5 points for managing to move a clip-on bog freshener more than quarter of the way round the bowl.

[Gemmill]

Happy Face, on Apr 3 2006, 07:32 PM, said:

peasepud, on Apr 3 2006, 08:28 PM, said:

emmmm has anyone else somehow (while sitting for a crap) managed to get the little fella pointing straight ahead and piss straight through the gap between the seat and porcelain?

It goes like a fountain straight ahead (allegedly, according to me mate )

Can't see it happening without a stott on like, and surely you can anticipate that.

He's got one of those little button mushroom sticky straight out jobs man.   He calls it his hernia.