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Started by Scottish Mag , Jul 22 2005 11:12 PM

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#6281
Monkeys Fist
Posted 06 February 2012 - 05:09 PM

Monkeys Fist

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View PostMeenzer, on 06 February 2012 - 09:41 AM, said:

View PostGemmill, on 06 February 2012 - 07:19 AM, said:

http://www.independe...st-2278522.html

Texans are just ridiculous people.

http://www.rollingst...0202?print=true

Minnesotans too. :fool:

Astonishing read that Meenzer.
If you took out the American place names and such and substituted them for ones in Iran, for example, it wouldn't make any noticeable difference, an irony which is lost on the Amerkin Right.


View PostJusoda Kid, on Jan 22 2011, 03:39 PM, said:

best tits ever

View Postracing_argentina, on 28 April 2012 - 07:59 PM, said:

williamson, you are more bad than drugs

#6282
Gemmill
Posted 06 February 2012 - 10:30 PM

Gemmill

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Watching Party Paramedics on C4. Anyway it's basically what it sounds like - they're rounding people up at music festivals covered in puke and that. Anyway this big fat lass is sat crying up against the metal fences and they bundle her into the ambulance. She's a bit of a unit and the nurse is talking to her:

How much have you had to drink today?

Lots....and I haven't eaten for 3 days.

Why have you not eaten for 3 days?

Cos I'm fat.

That won't help you lose weight though, cos your body will store the fat.

Etc. all nice and sympathetic. Anyway, this conversation is all taking place on way to the hospital, the ambulance pulls up at hospital, the doors open, and the same nurse shouts PAST the girl and out the doors to the porters "Watch mind, lads cos she's a ton weight. Be careful." :lol:
Gator's bitches better be using jimmies!

#6283
The Fish
Posted 06 February 2012 - 10:33 PM

The Fish

    • Better than you

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View PostGemmill, on 06 February 2012 - 10:30 PM, said:

Watching Party Paramedics on C4. Anyway it's basically what it sounds like - they're rounding people up at music festivals covered in puke and that. Anyway this big fat lass is sat crying up against the metal fences and they bundle her into the ambulance. She's a bit of a unit and the nurse is talking to her:

How much have you had to drink today?

Lots....and I haven't eaten for 3 days.

Why have you not eaten for 3 days?

Cos I'm fat.

That won't help you lose weight though, cos your body will store the fat.

Etc. all nice and sympathetic. Anyway, this conversation is all taking place on way to the hospital, the ambulance pulls up at hospital, the doors open, and the same nurse shouts PAST the girl and out the doors to the porters "Watch mind, lads cos she's a ton weight. Be careful." :lol:
:spit:

Ahhh, the caring side of the NHS

#6284
catmag
Posted 06 February 2012 - 10:45 PM

catmag

    • Mediocre general chat poster at best! Token female.

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View PostThe Fish, on 06 February 2012 - 10:33 PM, said:

View PostGemmill, on 06 February 2012 - 10:30 PM, said:

Watching Party Paramedics on C4. Anyway it's basically what it sounds like - they're rounding people up at music festivals covered in puke and that. Anyway this big fat lass is sat crying up against the metal fences and they bundle her into the ambulance. She's a bit of a unit and the nurse is talking to her:

How much have you had to drink today?

Lots....and I haven't eaten for 3 days.

Why have you not eaten for 3 days?

Cos I'm fat.

That won't help you lose weight though, cos your body will store the fat.

Etc. all nice and sympathetic. Anyway, this conversation is all taking place on way to the hospital, the ambulance pulls up at hospital, the doors open, and the same nurse shouts PAST the girl and out the doors to the porters "Watch mind, lads cos she's a ton weight. Be careful." :lol:
:spit:

Ahhh, the caring side of the NHS

:whistle:
Nobody knows but me..

#6285
Guest_alex_*
Posted 07 February 2012 - 09:21 AM

Guest_alex_*

View PostMonkeys Fist, on 06 February 2012 - 05:09 PM, said:

View PostMeenzer, on 06 February 2012 - 09:41 AM, said:

View PostGemmill, on 06 February 2012 - 07:19 AM, said:

http://www.independe...st-2278522.html

Texans are just ridiculous people.

http://www.rollingst...0202?print=true

Minnesotans too. :fool:

Astonishing read that Meenzer.
If you took out the American place names and such and substituted them for ones in Iran, for example, it wouldn't make any noticeable difference, an irony which is lost on the Amerkin Right.
Good point.

#6286
McFaul
Posted 08 February 2012 - 11:27 AM

McFaul

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I get an email at 1126 every fucking day off the Sunderland Echo!  Fuck off!

View PostBernardRighton, on 12 April 2012 - 12:17 PM, said:

Just poetry that. Like watching Stevie play at the Pitz.

#6287
sweetleftpeg
Posted 08 February 2012 - 11:56 AM

sweetleftpeg

    • Stalking GMTV presenters since 1999

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View PostGemmill, on 06 February 2012 - 10:30 PM, said:

Watching Party Paramedics on C4. Anyway it's basically what it sounds like - they're rounding people up at music festivals covered in puke and that. Anyway this big fat lass is sat crying up against the metal fences and they bundle her into the ambulance. She's a bit of a unit and the nurse is talking to her:

How much have you had to drink today?

Lots....and I haven't eaten for 3 days.

Why have you not eaten for 3 days?

Cos I'm fat.

That won't help you lose weight though, cos your body will store the fat.

Etc. all nice and sympathetic. Anyway, this conversation is all taking place on way to the hospital, the ambulance pulls up at hospital, the doors open, and the same nurse shouts PAST the girl and out the doors to the porters "Watch mind, lads cos she's a ton weight. Be careful." :lol:

I watched that as well. Have to say also, the first lass they saw to (very posh lass who collapsed) was obviously having a panic attack and told them she was prone to them. The St Johns guy goes 'we need to find out why you're making a spectacle of yourself' and she flipped, and I have to say, I don't blame her. She was slightly annoying, but what a patronising twat..looks like St Johns have a great bedside manner! :lol:
Shit the bed.

#6288
Guest_alex_*
Posted 08 February 2012 - 12:07 PM

Guest_alex_*
I've always thought St. John's were a bit weird. Like Special Constables.

#6289
sweetleftpeg
Posted 08 February 2012 - 12:10 PM

sweetleftpeg

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You're right, too shit to be a paramedic. Or want to get into the match for free.
Shit the bed.

#6290
wykikitoon
Posted 09 February 2012 - 02:29 PM

wykikitoon

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Listening to 5Live and Jackie Mason is on, what a complete bell end he is!
Run when you can, Walk if you have to, Crawl if you must, Just never give up
http://www.dylanogden.com

#6291
NJS
Posted 13 February 2012 - 07:38 PM

NJS

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At xmas I had to put a shelf up in my bathroom so I ended up buying some diamond tipped drill bits to get through the tiles.


I got an email from the company today affering a "Valentines day special" discount on more diamond tipped bits - quite a good association I thought :)

#6292
Toonraider
Posted 15 February 2012 - 01:28 PM

Toonraider

    • Torquay's Tourist Board

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How about this run for Torquay United then?

P16 W13 D2 L1

'That makes us the form side in the country by a long way, 7 wins in 2012, 1 defeat in 16, 41 points from 48. Whichever way you look at it there isn't another team close.

Goals conceded in those 16 games: 7 (3 from Accrington away, so 4 in the 15 other games)

However the best stat of all is this, apart from the Accrington game we have not let the other team define the result. We have not had a win changed into a draw, or a draw into a defeat. If we score first we win. if we don't score the game ends 0-0'

:gettin:

#6293
Meenzer
Posted 16 February 2012 - 09:13 AM

Meenzer

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http://www.readytogo...ead.php?t=12129

Nostalgia.
How did we get from the Blue Lamp Disco to cracking up in San Francisco?

#6294
wykikitoon
Posted 16 February 2012 - 10:06 AM

wykikitoon

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When does Alex get his £20?
Run when you can, Walk if you have to, Crawl if you must, Just never give up
http://www.dylanogden.com

#6295
Brock Manson
Posted 16 February 2012 - 10:12 AM

Brock Manson

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When Farnie's mam gets back from the dole centre. Or his da pays the back-dated child support.
Some people feel content pouring syrup on shit and calling it pancakes their whole lives.

#6296
Besty
Posted 20 February 2012 - 10:24 AM

Besty

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Weyhey! Just had XP machines fitted on my team at work so can access the forum again. No more IE5. :D
Twitter: BestyNUFC

Posted Image

#6297
McFaul
Posted 20 February 2012 - 10:27 AM

McFaul

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View PostToonraider, on 15 February 2012 - 01:28 PM, said:

How about this run for Torquay United then?

P16 W13 D2 L1

'That makes us the form side in the country by a long way, 7 wins in 2012, 1 defeat in 16, 41 points from 48. Whichever way you look at it there isn't another team close.

Goals conceded in those 16 games: 7 (3 from Accrington away, so 4 in the 15 other games)

However the best stat of all is this, apart from the Accrington game we have not let the other team define the result. We have not had a win changed into a draw, or a draw into a defeat. If we score first we win. if we don't score the game ends 0-0'

:gettin:
Grrrr fucked my coupon on Saturday.  I actually lost £400 gambling this weekend :( Still Carlisle will pull me out the shite the neet.

View PostBernardRighton, on 12 April 2012 - 12:17 PM, said:

Just poetry that. Like watching Stevie play at the Pitz.

#6298
Ayatollah Hermione
Posted 22 February 2012 - 03:20 PM

Ayatollah Hermione

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Have I missed why Alex's account is down to a guest one? Hope he's alreet.

#6299
Ant
Posted 22 February 2012 - 03:52 PM

Ant

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View PostAyatollah Hermione, on 22 February 2012 - 03:20 PM, said:

Have I missed why Alex's account is down to a guest one? Hope he's alreet.

taking a break, wanted it deleted

So Jim, have I ever told you about the old country? The songs! Oh Jim, they'd melt your face.
"Ohh I live in a shoe on Moore Street, I'm a prostitute from Newry".

Posted ImagePosted Image

#6300
Christmas Tree
Posted 22 February 2012 - 04:01 PM

Christmas Tree

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Came to the end of his allowed posts!

Broke the Internet.
Back to General Chat


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