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my cats? Saturn and Fish? Both pretty regular, we have litter trays so we check daily. several times. Good texture, colour, consistency tbf. not left long enough to turn white. doggy poop bags are cheap and plentiful and double up as pussy poop bags too.

Sure he'd prefer the sweeper keeper system, so that's more Pope than Dubs

Between dubs and Pope, I wonder who he fancies in nets?

Ooooooh, I watched expecting thed worst, expecting to be triggered to fuck. But weirdly, its probably the only time I have agreed with 30p Lee. The massive cunt.

I won't be partaking in this pun business as I don't have the frocabulary. As for this Mitchell bloke, all I'll say is, as long as he knows some short cuts to get us who we want then I'm all for us giving him a curl.

If he does come, we’ll have to drop Carmina Burana, since one of his terms of employment is that all his teams come out to Adagio for Strings. It’s by his favourite composer.

They know their team is named after a northumbrian right?

that third goal did for Hotspur Hippie….the next one apparently made him want to euthanise the whole team

Aye she did. Finally. Despite my cunt of a neighbour's best efforts.

They reckon this Mitchell's mentor was the legendary Irish coach, Tim O'Tei.

What's the word on their dumps? The cats, not the kids.

i cut off anything remotely stringy from chicken and cook it for our cats saves the kids pushing bits to the side of their plates

There seems to be a canny bit of disillusionment with Postecoglou. I'm not surprised mind, his team has one comically risky way to play, and if it doesn't work and they get pumped, he thinks it's perfectly OK to just go "Aw look mate, we gave it a crack." And then put them out the exact same way for the next game.

I know this is tired old tropes, but my dog's shit turns white if it's left out for 24 hours, so white dog shit is still alive and well. My theory is that the quality of dog food was better in the old days. He eats raw meat patties with sweet potato and pumpkin seeds in them - he genuinely has better teas than me some day - and I reckon that's giving him high quality 80s dumps.

Love the cunt who thinks the ref booking Van Der Ven made a difference. Also "Take this team down to the vet and tell the family they're happy living on a farm"

Keep them coming, slapheads!

Bag of jazz mags found in a bush

You’ve absolutely rinsed us, yeah

alright, keep your hair on!

Made a load of baldies have to make jokes about hair. It's killing them but they can't resist.

Aye but I used to be in the office two days a week, so we set it up then and he still goes. He fucking loves it, sleeps in their house for a bit and then gets taken to a closed field twice a day for an hour where he runs around like a lunatic with 8 to 10 other dogs. Comes home destroyed and we don't hear anything from him all night. Anyway back to your shitty puns!