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A housemaid went into a hotel room after knocking and getting no reply, whlist in the room Ms Vorderman (countdown days) appeared from the bathroom. Aforesaid housemaid was friends with an acquaintance of mine and he took great delight in telling everyone that Ms Vorderman shaved her bits.

Her arse would play everyone onside st the other end

Slightly on-topic, but, since every woman is born with every egg she’ll ever produce already formed, this means that the eggs must’ve been there before her birth. Which means that everyone, even non-mackems, has spent time inside their Granny.

Vorderman would have no chance of surviving a marginal var call with those norks

The Gary Goalgasm.

No, they thoroughly deserved it on account either emanating from Charles sack, being on the end of stuff emanating from his sack, or being married to the stuff that emanated from his sack and producing extra stuff that emanated from stuff that originally emanated from his sack. There's sacks of reasons.

Call me cynical but I'm sensing some nepotism here.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68882308 Well deserved.

Mrs Neville recognises that particular Gary Neville moan.

Before they drew the lines you knew they were going to give it tbh

I actually think I hate the ickle spickle cunt more than any of the headbangers. He's completely debased himself.

he knows she's a bullshit artist because he's a true believer

Is this a thing, free poppadoms? I'm not sure it is. Mind, if I don't get free prawn crackers with my Chinese there will be hell on.

Emails are destroying society.

That’s more like it

Will you be attending in traditional Scottish garb to underline your credentials?

The oh god particle?

Yes, the God Particle was located.

Image in my head of a C&A catalogue photo of you two, over the shoulder jumpers with the sleeves tied, pointing at the new microwave with your heads tipped back, roaring with laughter.

Alright Buzzcut Malone. Captain Flattop!

I would just like to point out that despite being RETIRED, I am a#3 back and sides and #4 on top (although thinning admittedly) Wahl Lithium-Ion for the clipper nonces

He was caught out by my astonishing sexiness is what he was caught out by.

I have a vision of Wiki at work - We've got to install microwave ovens tiktok twat.

The interviewer is a weird little creep too.