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I know, imagine giving some sort of responsibility to fully grown adults.

Who the fuck says 'oh my days'? 'Oh my days, Margaret! It says here that Sainsburys won't be selling the daily mail anymore. Political correctness gone mad, I tell you. "

Can’t wait to hear every half-wit going blaming Rafa this week

You’re a boring old shite.

Should win the league then.

Inexplicable decision to televise this match.

"Gene deals in the type of satire that cuts to the core with laser-focused accuracy" - Nobody

I cannot predict the result but I will predict that post game Warnock will whine like the old wanker he is about some perceived injustice which he will totally be wrong about.

I get people going on forums and spouting some blatantly wrong nonsense to get a reaction to a certain degree, but I can’t wrap my head around throbbers like this bloke. No one has been reacting to his “but isn’t Ashley mint though” shitty craic for weeks now and he’s still going.

Fat brummie WUM paedos

There's been a clause inserted into Colback's loan contract insisting that in the event of the clubs meeting he 'must be in the starting line up for Forest' and can only be substituted no earlier than the 80th minute barring injury*. *Newcastle United physio to examine injury to confirm legitimacy.

2-0 away win. The season starts here

McClaren man

Aye, people like you know who on here won’t have to wait much longer to get rid of this Rafa bloke. They must be fucking buzzing to get a proper manager like Mick McCarthy in.

Nitro just scored too

New players = Good tactics Players that were here last season = Bad tactics Just incase anyones confused like

I've seen nothing to convince me that Kenedy is anything above a bag of tricks with an attitude and no end product.

It would be except the penalty. Mega pissed off.

This'll leave a mark on the lad. He'll turn up next week with: "I missed a pen in Wales ffs" tattooed on his forehead.

Now that sums up kenedys performance. Fucking hell. Where was shelvey?

Sums up Kenedy’s performance too. Absolutely dire

Hows that not a free kick to Joselu? Bamba has just climbed all fucking over him?

It's got me tearing out my hair

you're a poet and you dont know it

Fucking me what aboring cunt Smith is

Never claimed to be original

Like makems do.

For those that like Mazzy Star, I give you Holy Motors

Keith Bishop employees.

Frozen out because he's absolutely fucking shite, mate.

Conveniently that range excludes the barren summer where we signed only Anita. It also includes the January 2014 panic buying and the inexplicable error of judgment that was giving McClaren the amount of money he did over two windows. How's the net spend been since relegation? How about previous to January 2014? Anyone can fiddle with numbers to try to prove a point.

Well I suppose there’s a first time for everything.

Anyone who rips the piss out of James Corden is alright by me.

Sorry I couldn't find a link for this latest article from George Caulkin it's a bit long but it's a bloody good read No trophies, little investment and two relegations – when will fans finally recognise Mike Ashley as a genius? George Caulkin, Northern Sports Correspondent It is extraordinary, really, that 11 years into Mike Ashley’s glorious ownership of Newcastle United, a period of unparalleled (pound for pound) success and cheap socks, that some people — ungrateful people, stupid people, nasty people — still do not appreciate what a complete genius he is. It is even more remarkable that a lot of those ingrates, the flag-wavers and shop-shouters, actually attend matches at St James’ Park. As a counter-balance to the mindless thousands who regularly turn up to sing “Get out of our club,” at Newcastle games, thank heavens for Dennis Wise — always such a thoughtful soul as a footballer — to remind us of some basic truths. “Unfortunately whatever he does, he will constantly take stick. It’s as simple as that,” Wise says of Ashley. “There are a lot of people out there that don’t help the situation. They want to bring it onto him.” Charnley, left, and Ashley have masterminded Newcastle’s pursuit of self-sufficiencyStu Forster/Getty Images I mean, yeah, there have been those two relegations from the Premier League, but this is football and these things happen. They can definitely happen when you employ Joe Kinnear (twice) and bring in players above the manager’s head (oh, hello again Dennis!), but there is no point in re-raking old history, so let’s forget Sports Direct Arena, Wonga, cups not being a “priority,” and the way Kevin Keegan, Alan Shearer and others were betrayed by the club they adored. That’s the problem with Geordies. The play in black and white and it’s how they live their lives, always harking back to the good old days. Like the decade before Mike arrived, when not only were they never relegated, but they finished second, fourth, third, fifth and seventh, reached the final (twice) and semi-final (twice) of the FA Cup, broke their transfer record, had a world-record signing in their team and played in the Champions League, the Uefa Cup and Cup Winners’ Cup. But the game has moved on and Newcastle were stretched back then, hurtling towards economic ruin and the big man, for all his faults (he isn’t perfect; he’s an honest fella who said relatively recently that “it wasn’t acceptable what happened at Newcastle United,”), has brought financial security to Tyneside. Don’t forget that he inherited a crippling £77 million debt! Just imagine how terrible things would have been without his money. As Shola Ameobi said on the telly recently, “He’s a businessman and unfortunately for Newcastle fans, he wants to run his business in a way that is sustainable. Credit to him, because you look at the likes of Aston Villa and these clubs who are struggling financially. The one thing that Mike Ashley has done for Newcastle over the last ten years is to stabilise the club where the club is running itself and we’ve got no debt. That’s a credit to Mike.” I’m not sure how fair or helpful it is to point out that, in their latest accounts, Newcastle actually had a debt of £152 million. Mike doesn’t charge interest on that, which means that the club is actually saving a lot of cash. Admittedly, a lot of that debt has been accrued royally f***ing things up, but it could be worse! And it’s only proper that he gets benefit in kind through Sports Direct, his firm, not paying for all that lovely advertising at the stadium. Shola is right. Mike is a businessman and credit to him. You might not understand how Newcastle have consistently earned less in commercial revenue than before he took over, but he is a big-picture man, a blue-sky thinker. He knows what he’s doing! What the shop-shouters call flatlining, a stripped-back skeleton-staffed shell, barely treading water and certainly not striving to achieve, we call stable, safe, self-sufficient. There’s a lot to be said for it. I must admit to a little LOL at something doing the rounds on Twitter (credit @bigchrisholt). It’s photos of hydrotherapy units at Southampton, Wolverhampton Wanderers and Everton and then there’s one of Newcastle players sitting in an inflatable paddling pool at their training ground. For real! There’s a quote from Mike saying “our training facilities have improved significantly during my tenure.” And he’s right. This season he’s got them a bucket and spade to share, too, ha ha! Seriously, though, when will Rafa Benítez ever stop moaning? He’s a great manager and all that, but he’s not got a scooby when it comes to running a major company. Dennis knows. He was Newcastle’s executive director early doors under Mike and like he says, “People complain about them not spending enough money but if you trade well at a football club and you’re able to bring players in and take players out and make money, I don’t see what the problem is with that.” Exactly that. Rafa brought in seven players this summer. Seven. It’s not trivial, is it? Even the manager accepted in a statement he, Lee Charnley and Jamaal Lascelles released last week that “we have a better squad,” now, so what’s all the fuss about? Yeah, so Mike said at the end of last season he would “continue to ensure that every penny generated by the club is available,” to Rafa. It just so happens that “every penny” was minus £18 million. Simple maths. Newcastle have tried and tried and tried to get Rafa to sign a new contract. They repeatedly tried throughout January when he seemed a bit preoccupied for some reason and they’ve tried again and again since then. All he does is sigh, shake his head, talk about “trust” and look pissed off. The fans sing his name, really seem to love him, but if only they knew what he was like to deal with. He always wants more. He always wants better. Everybody knows he fluked that Champions League win, just like he probably fluked those two La Liga titles, the Uefa Cup, the FA Cup, the Uefa Super Cup, the Supercoppa Italiana, the Fifa Club World Cup, the Europa League, the Coppa Italia, the Supercoppa Italiana (again), UEFA Manager of the Year (twice), European Coach of the Year and his cycling proficiency. It’s almost as if he knows something that Mike and Charno don’t. What gives him the right? If Rafa leaves in nine months’ time — when no doubt he’ll whinge about Newcastle not being the big club he thought they could be — as so many punters seem to fear, what’s the huge issue? Why are they getting their y-fronts in a twist about wasted opportunities? Somebody else will come in. Mike is a genius, remember, and he has has a golden touch. Joe, Steve McClaren, John “best coach in the Premier League” Carver, Pards. Nuff said. How dare that bloody MP raise Mike’s running of Newcastle in parliament. What’s it got to do with Chi Onwurah, who was born and raised a fan and has St James’ in her constituency? She didn’t even contact Mike beforehand! Granted, the last time she did that, Charno told her not to bother next time, but even so. What a joke to express concerns about one of Tyneside’s great institutions, one with the power to shape its wellbeing and its economy, in the commons. And who are these shop-shouters, anyway? Who are this rabble who, by paying for season tickets, think they have a better grip on things than Dennis and Shola, the pundits on the radio and in the papers? Who are this Magpie Group, a collective of fans who protested on Northumberland Street last weekend? Apart from representatives of Newcastle United Supporters Trust, true faith fanzine, NUFC Fans United, Wor Flags, Wor Hyem, Ashley Out and others? When will these people lower their inflated expectations (last domestic trophy 1955)? When will they appreciate what they’ve got? Mike has listened. He wants to sell. And before anyone says this is the third time now, which suggests he’s either not very good at it, asking for too much or his heart isn’t in it, desist. Don’t bring it on to him, because Mike gets it. There will always be a Newcastle. Just as there will always be a sale on at Sports Direct, you lucky, lucky bastards.

RIP Aretha Franklin. Spoke before about how Lady Soul and Spirit in the Dark are two perfect albums but her early stuff where it's mostly covers, is also fantastic

Might as well be the Birmingham motto

I'll PM you all the dirty details; you'll love it.