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I went to Greenwich Park yesterday so my kids could run around. Everyone was staying well away from each other and the police were moving on anyone who was just there sunbathing. Almost everyone that I saw was being considerate. A lot of people have no, or little, outdoor space and will have spent the entire week cooped up, working from home with their kids running around the house. I see no problem in people getting some fresh air so long as they stay well away from each other. I appreciate that some parks weren’t like this (although I suspect that the large majority were) but there is way way more chance of catching it in a supermarket.

There's going to be a round of applause for couriers and delivery drivers. It will be some time tomorrow between 9am and 5pm.

They’ve closed the car parks near all parks in my town. There’s a baseball field across the road from my block of flats, some huckle goes there and smokes a cigarette in the car park there (usually see him when I’m waking my dog around the field). So now it’s closed he just pulled up in the parking spot under my flats balcony with some horrific music blaring out his Audi and stood in the car park smoking, serial killer behavior this. The bloke needs to man up and own up to his other half that he smokes before I egg the weird cunt.

Ey up Yorkshire Piers!

Fuck you granddad! I hope you get a sausage dog in your spokes!

I know that, I just don't want Renton thinking he's fucking King Neptune all of a sudden.

Aye we all know who would tell the Nazis where Ann Frank’s family were hiding I think that folk are more at risk in any supermarket than in your local park. That may not be scientific fact though.

If it is, that will be the point that all goodwill goes out of the window and the general public starts ignoring the government. A couple of solicitors on twitter reckon the current state of play isn’t legally enforceable anyway. And if the fuckers literally want people locked in their houses 24/7 then they need to start putting something decent on telly. A movie at 8pm every night on all 5 terrestrial channels rather than reruns of Mrs Browns Boys would be a start

Not even sure it's this century

The Queen should come on the telly today and say something like "One would like to remind you that the more you stay in, the quicker the pubs will open. You fucking plebs" and then those unhinged lunatics that have a stockpile of plastic Union Jacks in the loft might stay in for a bastard change.

Tbf, the virus isn’t airborne. Keep 2m away from anyone, wash your hands religiously and lock yourself in the house for 14 days if you’re symptomatic. If everyone does that there’s no way of this thing spreading. You can’t catch it walking past someone on the street unless they sneeze in your face There’s a bit of overkill by some people atm. I had the bairn wandering the streets for 2 hours on her scooter yesterday because she was bored shitless

Duty Free

me and my mates do it once a week and last night, I was already back to being sick of them.

Hey I'm happy with the result. Hopefully we can start to see the immediate benefits of having an actual opposition. Hopefully Nandy gets a senior position in his cabinet and Long-Bailey gets fucked right off.

Are you really this fucking thick or is it an act?

https://theovertake.com/~beta/frankie-boyle-did-you-ever-wonder-what-youd-be-doing-during-an-apocalypse/

He could have got that next door at number 11

Well, the joke is on them because I don’t do any proper exercise

@Renton

It's a tricky time, like. Most of us are just trying to muddle through, interpreting the rules as sensibly as possible in a way that works for us and navigating our way around these little Englanders who love nothing more than to bring everyone else down to their level of misery. At the same time, the wifey from across the way has been standing in the street outside our house making loud phone calls for the last two hours on and off, and my inner Stasi is definitely coming out.

The Coronavirus is sorting the wheat from the chaff on here mind. Or the sensible folk from the hysterical curtain twitchers at least

Surly that's utter bollocks. Isn't that a life guard walking there? That's bull shit IMO

Fucking ruined Renton's daily "THE ONLY WAY IS UP" party. Him and his dad either side of the fence... Hold on (Hold on) Hold on (Hold on) Oooooo ooowooowooooooh

Busted

Tesco was back to being a fucking nightmare when I went on Friday morning. Lass had a full panic attack in the fruit and veg bit cos no cunt was observing the 2 metres. Crying her eyes out and no one could go to comfort her. Some pensioner snuck up on one of the Tesco workers and got her face three inches from theirs to ask where something was. Tesco woman shrunk backwards but was obviously simultaneously embarrassed by her own reaction. Really though she should be saying to the old wife "Bitch, you are the one we are doing all this shit for and you're acting like we're on a date." Another Tesco wife was asking people to observe 2 metres which prompted this arsehole in a face mask to start shouting at her about how it was hard. Which prompted an absolute champ to round on this bloke and tell him to fucking pipe down, she's just doing her job. "An absolutely bullshit retail experience" would be the title of my Google review.

It’s weird because the English word for Tory is “cunt”.

Look at these sexy beasts anyway! Banana mocha chop chip.

It's not essential but nor is it remotely dangerous or increasing the risk of transmission. As long as you are socially distant at your destination, then you've done nothing wrong. My sister drives to a local park so that the dog can be let off the lead, and some utter cunt has been posting pictures of her car (and others) on Facebook as if he lives in East Germany. Demanding that the authorities do something about it. What a fucking quim. I bet he's got a moustache.

The man is the worst kind of sociopath imaginable.

I must have missed the clip of Biden saying he’d fuck his daughter.

This. I bailed out of a Zoom group quiz last night. Pub quizzes are shit enough WITH the fucking pub.

He who smelt it felt it.

all this video conferencing with family and friends is really starting to boil my piss. 4 nights in a bastard row, and i've got one scheduled with the family tomorrow. i've never seen so much of my friends and i'm speaking to my mother at least twice a week where before coronavirus it was just the odd whatsapp message.

And you and your free ST have contributed fuck all to our NHS. You should be ashamed.

Virtually none

Where Eagles Dare Bridge Over the River Kwai The Professionals Duty Free The Grumbleweeds Bullseye Currently taking a break from Zulu.

Might watch this later...(Just the intro is class never mind the game and atmosphere).

That's what she told you.… … wooah, hang on!

I beg your pardon?