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I just imagine he spends his time hanging about his utility room on the back of the house wearing a slightly undersized shirt waiting until his neighbor goes into the garden, then as soon as his neighbor is 4 steps into the garden he bursts out the door ”eeee y’alright Dave, D’ya believe the weather” an under the breath fuckin hell from Dave before “how’s it going Mark, yeah nice weather, anyway mate I’m a bit busy....” ”tis isn’t it, anyhoo I’ve been noticing you’ve been planting some things near the fence and I just want you to know you might be infringing on my property the way they hang over the fence, not my complaint Dave! You know me, never a problem, haha no it’s her in doors was mentioning it while we watched our soaps on the telly” basically I reckon he’s a cunt.

I dunno how you fucking dare, you were displaying serious Rik off the young ones energy back in Feb, bouncing off the walls "LADS THE WORLD IS ENDING AND THE LADY WHO SITS NEXT TO ME HAS THE SNIFFLES." I repeatedly had to peel you off the ceiling and put you back behind your desk.

Well, at least the lack of calories isn't affecting your mood.

CT’s fantasy shag iirc

The cost of what you're suggesting and the consequent delay of those kids and the ones coming behind them being delayed from entering the workforce for a year plus having a fallow year at universities is estimated at £5.6 trillion pounds over the first ten years. Your missus' life simply isn't worth that much.

3, 2, 1 ... EDWARDS?

Or are you?

Denise Welch, Peter Ebdon, the homeless bloke claiming he’s buying SAFC and Nigel Farage all reckon there’s nowt to worry about so that’s reassuring

It was obviously his time, it was just a case of bovine intervention.

Bullshit

“They remain anonymous”. Won’t the big empty chair be a dead giveaway?

He's gone mad, he has. Lack of glucose to the brain I suspect.

Take my kids, please.

I know you've all been frantic worrying, but worry no more, my test came back negative. Daughter had to leave school and isolate till I got the results, got them this morning, sent her in then her mate gets a call on the way telling them a classmate, (not in their bubble but whom they've had contact with) has tested positive so it was about turn before she even arrived. Apparently just hearing her mate's mam has been informed she can go back in so expecting a similar call pretty soon. It's all a bit disruptive, isn't it? I called in work and told my test was negative and they didn't even discuss the fact I'm not feeling too clever it was just a 'see you tonight'.

You just repeat the school year for everyone. That's the answer. Which do you think is preferable, muddle through the current year with constant stops and starts and bunches of kids off for 2 weeks at a time self-isolating, entire year groups having to take time away from school, those of exam age particularly disrupted.....or call the whole thing off, protect pupils, teachers and their families that they'll take the virus home to, and repeat the school year for everyone next year. It is totally bogus to claim that kids and teachers can go to school, mix with other kids/teachers, and go home to their families, and we just don't need to worry about spread of the virus from that. That's how you do it. This current situation is so sub-optimal that you're leaving kids behind anyway but pretending that you aren't. It's mostly just you parents don't want your kids at home. You had the little cunts.

Must be the lack of meat fucking with your faculties. A veggie that can't do maths, the arcade creeper, and the Mexican Viagra muncher trying to tell me what I can and can't eat. Absolute fucking liberty.

Big Joe on a hat-trick. Imagine if he turned into a goal machine after this. This is 2020 after all.

Looks class tbh

I know, how dairy.

sweet dreams

Btw this government is never gonna get test and trace sorted. They are too busy lying about the present and making undeliverable promises for the future. There isn't the will there to fix it - why bother when you can lie and say it's sorted? They've been doing it for the last 6 months, they aren't gonna get this fixed before there's a vaccine.

Platinumed AC Odyssey, and all the DLC. Ghost of Tsushima next.

I think the sooner kids learn the crushing, disappointing realities of life, the better. This has been an ideal education in that regard.

I expect he doesn’t care what he looks like as long as people are talking about him and he generates clicks.

Did he do the voice for Darth Vader?

Aye, you’re well ahead of the curve with that prediction

“ Are football fans starting to lose all sense of reality and common sense…” Luke Edwards.

Good family though.

He’s the personification of a runny shart- can’t take the pressure, ends up with shit everywhere, funny as fuck when it’s not happening to you.

Well I had a test today. Don't have a temperature etc but do have the cough and feel rough. Managed to get a test in Murton, past Seaham so a bit of a drive. Someone related to a lass who works with the eldest bairn had one today at Byker whereas I got stuck in Apache land. I was in a rush otherwise I'd have had a black and white scarf hanging out of the rear car window on the way down, (hear what I'm saying essembee).

If you think Howmanheyman's gonna let you get away with "Cheers guys", even in these circumstances, think again.

That’s just sick, tbh.

aye, at least you're reminded of what a proper meal feels like, till you see it in reverse.

Ah and here's fucking Club Med Luigi, the cliff walker. I hope you got your eyes pecked out by a seagull.

My mistake, it’s 260 or something - a veritable feast

200 calories per meal? It’s like you decided 2020 couldn’t get any more miserable

I thought I'd fucking stumbled into Mumsnet for a minute here. 800 calories a day ffs Eat less, Exercise more. Anyone taking advice from CT about his 14th diet fad wants locking up

800 calories a day? That’s one meal tbf

Richards is decent because he actually looks like he wants to be there. I seldom look for wisdom from pundits anyway so this makes a difference. Contrast that to Danny Murphy or Mark Lawrenson who look like they should be on suicide watch. It’s just depressing watching them. Most other pundits, Taylor, Nicholson, Le Tissier rarely offer any insight and are so biased to teams they like it’s pointless having them on. Same goes for Ferdinand or Owen.

Proper tempted by Tony Hawks

About halfway through the lockdown I started squeezing pillows and our winter walking jackets. I’ve been feeling down ever since.

ewerked your post.