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If that doesn’t scream Saturday night coke binge, I don’t know what does

Thesaurus Coke Party

I feel sorry for your missus if 50% of your cock is the tip 😂

Cute. I'd love a dog but couldn't be fucked on finding a home for it whenever I wanted a holiday. I picked up a space invaders cocktail yesterday locally. Less upkeep than a dog and makes you infinitely more attractive to females apparently

So, we have a German poster positively radiating schadenfreude on us, quoting a tweet from a polish wagon driver who refers to our wonderful country as, and I quote, the "United Whoredom". This, gentlemen, is why we we were right to leave this vile corrupt organisation. Don't they remember who won the war?

Words of import from footballs answer to Sun Tzu.

Oooooo football exciting

I wish I could post images.

Won't be able to see this tonight.....

He was definitely ahead of his time. Pulled a gun on John Lennon seven years before Mark Chapman.

I blame those who definitely voted for Corbyn once.

Pardew- another UM family connection.

You’re not wrong. Listened to it on Audible.

Neville and Carragher still asking NUFC fans "what they expect". We all knew we would be 15th apparently. You never hear them telling West Ham, Everton, Leicester, Leeds, Wolves fans that. We are literally on a fucking par with Burnley, Brighton and West Brom in the eyes of most now. Cannon fodder for other teams and should be happy to finish 17th

Still though, something to tell the grandkids.

They have to get rid of him now, I’m not saying I expect us to pick up points away to Arsenal but we weren’t even in that game. He will whinge on about how he played more attacking but we fucking didn’t, he put more offensive players on the pitch but there was no plan so we may as well have had 10 defenders on tbh. I don’t particularly rate our team, but they’re better than what they are showing, under this whopper the average players look shite and the shite ones barely resemble football players. It’s at the point, imo, that the longer they delay sacking him they’re just making the inevitable relegation scrap harder. Not sure who to get but this can’t go many more games, I really can’t see where any points are going to come from.

Some class games there. I like the fact you can just play these for 15 minutes or so rather than have to invest the time to play a full modern game, which is pretty impossible with a young family and job. When I was about 13 I bought a book on how to beat Pac man. Memorised all the paths for the mazes, got pretty proficient playing it in the Spanish city. Got to the 7th key once (the 9th key is the last level), surrounded by a crowd. At that level the energisers don't even work. More than 35 years later I can still remember the exact paths but no longer have the dexterity to use them. 🤷‍♂️

This is the shit we have to put up with.

Next weeks the week. Bruce is going to do it his own way. Once and for all. No excuses. Season starts here lads. Time to dust worselves down and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps

The gloves are off

Fucking Shelvey with a shite corner.

Strange how Bruce doing things his way is almost identical to every other game this season. Odd.

I don’t understand how that’s not a free kick. What’s the point in VAR if he can get away with that?

Nice nails.

He thinks tonight is the Sheffield game

Who's ffs?

Are you locked down in Korea?

All fart and no shite vs plain shite

After Brewcy's "motivational" comments on Friday am thinking we'll play 4 at the back & ship at least 4 goals v the worst Arsenal side in literally 35 years 😃

He wrote Manic Monday iirc

I blame Corbyn.

He wants them to pass to each other now!

Moved back into our house over the weekend and so sorting all the records into their new shelves and found the Bangles first album, so gave it a spin in honour of Ms Hoffs b/day. Thing is the best song on it isn't sung by her, so before the record company pushed her to the front. As for Robert Fripp and Toyah's titties - Fripps best work was always when someone more interesting was the main feature, Eno, Byrne, even his stuff with Daryl Hall.

Steve 'Tactics' Bruce:

Never fit that above the door

The Gonettes, more like

A few weeks back I wasn’t overly concerned as even though we were shite we were picking up points, the teams below were really struggling too. The worry was when you’re playing crap football and getting goals from very few chances that you’ll go through a period where you’re not getting those goals, it seems like those goals have dried up and now with Bruce essentially rounding on the players by branding them frigging hopeless, and shite, I can only see the situation getting worse. Basically we were bad enough when he was seemingly getting some effort out of them, without them on side we’re fucked. If Ashley and Charnley want the club in the PL they need to act decisively imo, we’ve strayed into that period of time similar to when McLaren was pretending he was a football manager where they risk keeping him on long enough to really fuck over the bloke that comes in to clean up the mess. I’ve absolutely no faith in them to remove him though, and expect them to stick with him until it’s way too late. We’re completely reliant on 3 teams being worse than us at this point as we’re a fucking dreadful team with this pudding faced wank in charge.

The fucking cheek! You need a robot to do the hoovering. If you have any side effects, you'll be drawing up a will.

I've honestly thought that passing the ball to the opposition has been a key tactic of Bruce's since he's been here so this could actually be a game changer if they manage to do it. If he could continue this to the natural progression of pass it forward to your team mates rather than backwards, we could be in business.

Am on about when Hughton was appointed caretaker after Kinnears heart attack, when Shearer came in around the beginning of April? .the season of the Keegan/Dennis Wise debacle..Shearer was appointed too late, obvs. Agree completely about Hughton’s second sacking, too close to the players for Ashley regardless of results, reading between the lines he very likely took their side in the bonus dispute.

Reminds me of going on a night out when I was 17. All the lads were out and we were on our way up to the gate and I went arse over tit on some ice & proper slammed off the floor face first. Because it was the early 2000s and I was a kid I had a pocket full of change, so when I hit the deck it scattered for a fucking mile. I was skint enough to have to pick it up. Punchline is my jeans had separated at the seams....so I had to go home. The first thing I heard after the coins had scattered was... ”hya is that yer new break dance like!?”

I was so happy being protected yesterday I went skipping down Jesmond Dene in celebration. Slipped on black ice and went arse over tit, banged my head and was mildly concussed. Nearly broke my neck, was thinking it would be quite an ironic way to die. Waking up this morning I'm aching all over and have mild whiplash in my neck. Life is an absolute shit show at the minute. 🤬

Make sure you let Mrs G know about side effects when she gets hers mate

Nice to get some Guinea pigs on here before my lass has to take it. Get well soon, dickheads!