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If you're ENGLISH and you run your mouth off about a court case you've been specifically ordered not to nowadays, they HANG YOU and give your house to a Muslim. The country's gone.

Just to add, the reason she gave for vetoing Staffys is that “they look too much like you”- meaning squat, stocky and punched-in, with minimal hair. And yet, here we are, getting a fucking mentally unstable, ginger fucking lunatic that likes chewing socks.… … I daren’t tell her what Spaniel’s Lugs is a euphemism for.

That post needed a "Psssst." at the start of it.

So… having thought I’d dodged a bullet when Coco turned out to be stolen, according to her chip, we’ve now been “offered” her brother. By “offered”, I mean we’re picking the hairy little cunt up tomorrow for a “two week trial” i.e. until the little twat pops his stinking clogs. Obviously, it’s another fucking spaniel, the one , sole, breed I specifically said I wanted nowt to do with once I realised we were getting a mutt whether I liked it or not. This particular little shithouse is called Pip, so I’ll be Pip’s Pops picking up Pip’s Poops. Fuck right off I’ve decided that my only option now is to go full-on enthusiast and demand a second dog, but make sure it’s a Staffy, just so I can annoy Mrs. F. as much as this has annoyed me - the breed she specifically vetoed was Staffy’s, even though they’re superb family pets, short-haired, don’t shed, aren’t mental ( look up Rage Syndrome and Cockers!). Hopefully it’ll also terrorise this little Mackem shithouse FML MKII

Probably throwing him in jail for flying the flag of St. George. Bloody PC brigade.

I’m now picturing you and Mrs. Gloom as a pair of angry geese. I have had ales.

Same over here mate, it’s a shame because Staffys really are such lovely little bastards- I’ll fight any cunt that says otherwise.

The current Mrs PL has been ordered back to the office, thus scuppering plans to introduce a canine into the home

So she doesn't want another version of you in the house but she's happy to have Gemmill! Staffys are lovely dogs problem is most staffy owners are aggressive, obnoxious cunts - well here anyway. A cairn, westie or if you want fuck off attitude a scottie will fit the bill plus the family will all be raging with jealousy once they see how much better the terrier is to the ginger loony.

Mint. Photos tomorrow please. If it's any consolation, I'm warming to this little prick here. Tell your wife you want an XL Bully.

Already got his next gig lined up I see.

Take Krafth, Shelvey, and Gayle out of the last starting line-up, and replace them with Clark, preferably Fernandez if he were fully fit, ASM, Wilson, and play with the same urgency and effort to get crosses in, play on the front foot, and generally spend more time in the opposition box, and Wilson and ASM will likely prosper and indeed play a massive part in keeping us up. Whether Bruce can actually manage to enact such simple and obvious steps is another issue.

Wouldn't be surprised if he's got it into his head that we need 1pt a game, so sets us up more positively against the big boys and not-to-lose against the teams in the relegation mix.

To be honest, we've met some 'big teams' on bad days and failed to capitalise throughout Bruce's reign of error. I know it ended as a humping, but that Man Utd game, they were there for the taking, but we dithered about timidly until they woke up. Spurs were all at sea at the back, Murphy had their lad on toast and we should have won it were it not for 2 easily avoidable goals in the space of, what, 5 minutes? Beggars belief how terrible we are defensively. If Bruce is given a new contract because we stayed up, Ashley's wife should be after Power of Attorney sharpish, because Ashley's clearly lost his mind.

Probably about 27,031,970 other things?

Paul bearer, more like.

Good Easter weekend, lads?

I think a lot of centrist republicans would have found him more palatable than “democratic socialist” Bernie sanders. The word socialist alone is enough to lose several states over there. It’s about how you package it to secure power - dress up as a moderate then deliver real change once you’re in office. Biden wants to push through a pretty radical deal. He seems to have played it perfectly.

Probably from a nice family though.

Drove past this hair salon in Sunniside earlier, I wonder if they realise

Paul Ritter, fantastic actor ( he’s the Dad in Friday Night Dinner -one of the best comic characters on TV in years), deed at 54.