Howmanheyman

The batsman's Holding, the bowler's coffin.

Howay lads, someone's died for Christ sake, it's just not cricket.

It's an old joke but I can't quite remember how the punchline ended? Either that or it's a scene from pornhub and I'm getting confused? 🤔

A poor husband is married to the local dragon, not one thing he ever does is good enough, he even has to blob to earn extra cash to pay for a cleaner as his wife can't be arsed to do anything strenuous or beneath her dignity. She hires a cleaner to come around and the cleaner is a young, blonde Ukrainian lass. One day the wife comes back from shopping early to find her husband balls deep in the cleaner, 'What the fuck is going on here!' the wife shouts. The bloke says he was just helping the young lass out. 'helping her out?!' the wife exclaims. The bloke tries to explain, 'Those expensive shoes I bought you that were lying around because you said you'd went off them, well Anya said they were lovely and she wished she could afford a pair like them so I gave them to her rather than throw them out like you asked me to. She was so grateful, she asked if there was anything else you didn't want so I gave her that lingerie set I bought you that you said was too tight and didn't go with anything else you had. She asked to try it on and was in tears when it fitted her perfectly and I said she was welcome to have it. She hugged me tight thanking me and asked if there was anything else my wife had that she didn't have a use for anymore? And it was at that exact point she noticed my erection."

That easy, local girl is hopefully just down the road, what a break seeing that information.

Honestly wish one of those villa players had responded with a quizzical look and asked the reporter whether they would've asked an arsenal player a similar question about villa bouncing back in their CL push if the arsenal forevah and evah* had won the game instead? *Didn't hear that at the end of the match nor the poncey sound of the crowd joining in with their shit, made up song.

Drury doing Neville's podcast talks about the arsenal game, the title run in, also Liverpool before briefly discussing man city and a possible treble again before just having time to squeeze in our match against spurs and what it does for their CL chances and our European chances...... Just kidding, he squeezed in a quick discussion about Man United at Bournemouth.

Let's see if Neville has the arse to call Liverpool and arsenal bottle jobs?

Arsenal fans can fuck right off by the way, spoilt cunts couldn't get out the stadium quick enough.

Drury and Neville are fucking devastated.

Please sky, some more crowd shots.

Ah well.

Agree.

It gives us hope if villa lose even if it's a long shot, if arsenal get beat that'll be ok by me too as arteta is a colossal cunt.

His voice is amazing, because of it I could never hate the bloke.

"Good holiday, exile?" "It was fantastic. The weather was lush, the vino was flowing and the tapas was to die for, the local hospitality was as amazing as ever and of course, who can forget the fabulous genocide?"

"Ye Gods, the man is out of control! We need to silence him quicker than originally anticipated. He's a dangerous, loose cannon who knows the real truth. Is the 'Jackal' still alive and taking on work?"

I thought 'MagMoist' would have long been off their Christmas card list after the ex-SAFC player got us to be the team who played in his testimonial at Rangers? (Especially when his ex-team mate, Butcher, was managing his old club, the mighty MLFs at the time).

I've been to both. Rents is right that Cancun itself has deteriorated especially noticeable given the time involved between visits which was 2001 then 2012 I think? We're planning on going back next year if we can for our 25th anniversary but can't see us venturing up the road to Cancun for a visit this time.

We've been fancying going there for a while and haven't got around to it. I'll have to change that. Has it got an easily accessible bog on the ground floor? (The wife struggles with stairs).

As a teenager I naturally didn't like our nearest and dearest down the road but I loved Gary Bennett grabbing a hold of the dirty little cunt at Roker Park that's how much I couldn't stand him. He's lucky Cyrille Regis intervenes and protects him.

As has been said, every time we beat one of the usual suspects it's because they have had a shite performance. I don't recall us being as shite when they beat us it's just a great match execution by whichever cunty club gets the better of us.

"This Exile 1968 character knows too much about our match fixing and is also a threat if he puts his football boots back on. Arrange either a car 'accident' with faulty breaks or get the lad who did Gazza's knee in Walkers to come out of retirement and finally put and end to Exile 1968's football career. We can't let this existential threat linger on for much longer."