Howmanheyman

Priest: "Son, do want to give me your confession on your deathbed?" OJ: "Yes, father. I actually did murder my wi....." Priest: "Yes, we know that one, anything else before you go?"

Mike Ashley reading that....

Watched the original Star wars from the 1950s, here's the trailer for it......

Aye but the manager thought you were from the Newton and Ridley brewery secretly assessing his bar so was on his best behaviour.

I'm taking the week.

He was feweming and decided to boycoutt the shop and shout abuse at it after he'd been ejected from the premises but rayalised that could be constrewed as mag bayhavior so got himself so confewsed working out a solewetion to his problem he went home, informed his fellow MLFs then spontaneously combusted with frustration.

The quality of sky's pundits and guests are second to none tbf. Bruce, Clinton Morrison, Dawson, the fat Scottish striker for Rangers, Merson, Sue Smith's useless twin, (Lee Hendrie), the Scouse referee and that's just the ones off the top of my head and I hardly watch it. Their crown jewels are the tedious Neville and Carragher and they're only on for the fellation of Liverpool and Man United fans.

Le Tissier would make a tremendous MLF if he finds some kind of family link?

@wykikitoonfilmed on one of his nice, quiet bike rides around t'Yurkshu where he's just minding his own business and really enjoying life UNTIL SOME CUNT GETS IN HIS, I SAY, GETS IN HIS ROAD, LIKE.

Only ones I know is Alan Rough, Kenny Dalglish, Danny McGrain and Willie Miller. The others look vaguely familiar but can't pin them?

Desperate Dan Desperate Man

JFK: "Which one's St. Peter?" St. Peter: "Me." (You know the rest).

🎶 CT's tache! (Tache!) Always believe in the taaache, It's never tickled a gash, It's indestructible Always believe iiin CT's tache! (Tache)...... 🎵

"Get in that queue and NO TRUDGING! Yes I'm talking to you with the ginger tache!"

No false grin, klopp? What gives?

Neville always does Man U games, Carragher always does Liverpool matches. Sky production team member: "Who's going to do the game when they play each other?" Sky Producer:

Just put the game of the century on now as I was out so missed the (I'm assuming), understated build up. The sky erections for this game apparently visible from space so they reckon.

Is there anything more sad than unrequited love? 😔

He was just looking to connect with some fellow pussies.

Something, something, hang a wet duffel coat on them......

Almost a Man U/Ten Bob-esque type victory in the end. (VAR needs to fuck right off asap as well). Und was ist das? Alan Smith doing the arsenal game? Well baste my bollocks in white sauce and call it figgy pudding. I just didn't see that coming.

He had chronic indigestion.

Some passengers out there today especially pre-Dubs 'injury'. Now it's just poor touches and passing letting us down. Willock was atrocious so I assume he was carrying a knock before he came off? Krafth has worried me since he's had to come back into the team and he's now on a yellow. No way is this team getting into Europe if we have to limp on with the same team/squad. The injuries have crippled us and it's not letting up.

Unfortunately we're starting with players who just aren't up to it and it's dragging others down with them.