Howmanheyman

Just pulling your plonka, Ken.

"G'day!" "Hi, it's Ken from Owstryle-ia!" "Kenno!" "I'm not really sure if Stevie has a tumour or not, think the Pommie Drongoes have been stitched up." "Ken, it's really important when you've been up all night on the amber nectar that you don't post on Toontastic, mate. You'll only regret it in the morning and feel like a silly Cobber." Thanks Guys!" "No worries, Ken!"

"Kenno, I think it's time you went to bed, sport, even a talking frog can see that."

"I'd like to personally fank Mike for not buying me a £800,000 Bugatti car for my birfday like wot Anzhi did for Roberto Carlos. I'm just happy with a cake. There's no cake? I'd like to personally fank Mike for not buying me a birfday cake as err indoors as got me on a diet at the minute and a cakes the last fing I need right now. Cheers, Boss!"

Fucking hell Stevie, you must be spinning like a washing machine atm. Goes without saying we all hope its treatable, mate.

I've heard of the 'undertaker' before and must've come across them at some point throughout the years. Of all the games they've been to and sights they must have seen through the years and this happens at 30,000 feet up by a fucking actual missile. Unreal. RIP Lads. P.S. Pleased the club have acknowledged them.

Vanishing foam.......BANG! And then its gone!

CT, Wolfy or whoever you are. That's quite possibly the biggest pile of shite you've posted on here which is no mean feat lets be honest. Post to your hearts content about ice worlds etc, but you can cut this shit out pronto. Keegan is the best thing that ever happened to NUFC in the last forty years you complete and utter bulls knacker.

Class that, mind.

It's going towards a war chest for pards.

It'll always be Boundary Park to me.

Didn't see it at first.

"I'm getting something.......I'm seeing a little yellow and green chap......can you hear me?" "Yes Stevie I can hear you, did you give up your season ticket? You haven't mentioned it much, lately. I'm still in purgatory or Boldon as its also known, I was a happy Budgie with a family till this happy looking Ginger man took me to his home full of excitement, that is until a week later when he still hadn't worked out how to house, feed and clean me, after he'd finished buying some garden stuff online he took me out to his new project, 'The Garden vegetable patch' where he then doused me in Rinse Aid and tried to set me alight before giving up and burying me in a small untidy hole which he filled up with what he thought was 'Shit-free' manure. I can't rest in peace till he turns his fucking spotify shite down. P.S. Tell my missus the bird seed is in the coffee jar."

Are you called 'Wolfy' because you howl at the moon every night?

Call it 'Si Wi Cun' after its creator.

Saw a bloke with a slab get refused entry to Wembley for the Chelsea semi final, the young southern gentleman was a bit non-plussed when the bloke and his pal gave up the argument and sat on the ground and started to crack open the cans. "You can't do that here!" he said whilst the Geordie replied, (after he downed can 1), "Whey am not paying them fucking prices in there, Jackie, amma?"

If they're not allowed in neck them at the gate in front of the security then just walk in smiling .

Twet. (How the Queen would say it.)

Ok, CT, sorry, Wolfy.

Tits is whats I needses!

'What's currently wrong with you?' Never mind bad backs, I'm banging my fucking head against a wall trying to fix a problem with itunes (not for the first time). Wont come on properly, can't uninstall it and a microsoft repair fix has been running for nearly an hour with no sign at all that it is actually fixing it. Fucking computers, man. They do my bastard head in!!

and

Lets hope you're right. If that's our shirt we might as well officially drop the 'United Football Club' from our name and pipe music when we score just to go the whole hog, like.