Monster
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Posts
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Posts posted by Monster
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What kind of muppet gets the sega logo tattooed on their leg?
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There are some nice coffees if you are looking for strength.
Java Love is superb and organic too. Asdas own brand strength 5 is about £1 a bag and surprisingly tasty.
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I think we need to have a toontastic AA meeting. And I'm not talking car breakdown here (no old banger jokes please)
"Is it a girlscout meeting or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?"
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Arctic Monkeys - Teddy Picker
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The Hives - Walk Idiot Walk
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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful woman wave at
him and say hello.
He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her
from.So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies,"I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever
been unfaithful to
his wife and says,"My God, are you the stripper from my stag
party that I made love to on the pool table with all my pals
watching,while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's
math teacher."
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Arctic Monkeys - A Certain Romance
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When is the album out?
I have them on at the moment - they're great at being 'Northern'
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Somebody from the supporters bus ponced a score off me a couple of weeks ago and is such a slippery git that he didn't even go to the game last week to dodge me!
I think he needs to be included in this corner......
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If I ever need a lot of potatoes lifted from my garden or gallons of whiskey needing drank, I shall call an Irishman.
Until then, I am Irishless, and happy with that.
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The Killers - Change your mind.
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At what stage do you think they'd fall into your arms? The moment you revealed you'd deceived them about being fruit, your cock in hand...
You've spotted the flaw in the plan here. It took me quite a bit longer and a sore face to discover that.
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I reckon he's pretending to be gay to score chicks though - you know it makes sense!
Meenzer's blatantly up to the same rouse.
Oh, we've all done it!
Haven't we?
Just me then....
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question for the boys then....If your lass/wife/girlfriend/significant other etc was going out on the lash with a group of lads would that be "ok" or would there be questions asked ???
The wife just bluetoothed a set of filthy pictures of naked muscley blokes from the phone of a guy she works with.
I reckon he's pretending to be gay to score chicks though - you know it makes sense!
As for friends, I don't need them, I've got my flying reaper monkeys....
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It's been cutting out for me today in the middle of a good poker hand
I wouldn't have been poking her hand, but then you lesbians are a mystery to me.....
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I've got it and I find it cuts out at really inopportune times (i.e. when I'm about to pot the 8 ball on internet pool) and it runs pretty slowly often.
I'm downloading just now and it's at 105kb/s
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Hows this for a drinking game?
Watch your team get gubbed at home to Cowdenbeath and continue drinking cans of stella until you pass out.
Easy to remember.
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Cath
in General Chat
Happy Birthday Catmag - 32 is a great age.
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The Killers - Smells like you mean it.
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Best: The Deer Hunter
Worst: ExistenZ
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Duran Duran - Skin Trade.
tbh. -
After Dennis Leary denied he was a Bill Hicks riip- off act:
Interviewer:"Bill, we hear you quit smoking again. Why did you do it this time?"
Bill:"Uh, to see if Dennis Leary does it too...."
Legend. Greatest comedian ever,
www.loveallthepeople.com
What are you listening to ?
in General Chat
Posted
Happy Mondays - Jellybean