Renton

That's the mackem spirit I like to see.

They call us obsessed and needy. Fucking hell. FTM grafitti from around the world.

So, here's my cooking revelation of the year. I'm not sure there is anything that does not benefit from the addition of chorizo. Chilli con canre - add some chorizo! Just had some baked beans with a pastie there for lunch, chopped up some chorizo, baked it with the pastie, added it to the beans, and hey presto, beans now taste delicious. I know this is a bit but you can thank me later.

👏 I'm somewhat not surprisingly a shit cook anyway, but have been nominated to cook the Xmas dinner this year. Fuck off with the turkey, a cheap shit piece of meat no bugger wants apart from at Xmas. Bought a beef wellington from a good local butcher instead. Figure it will just be like cooking a giant saudage roll. Amirite?

I see. Of course.

I think this is turning into a sit/stand wedge issue. I just don't feel I can trust Gloomy at all now.

Right, how the fuck does that work? Do you peel out the outer layers or something?

Here's a really fiddly recipe you can try. It's not as nice as the real thing which is much simpler, but here it is anyway. Fanks, top tip Gemmill.

Well, they're an excellent source of nutrition for you weirdos who do not participate in eating flesh. High protein, high fibre, nearly zero fat content. We go through a punnet a day. Does anyone remember that ear worm advert, "Make way for the mushrooms!"

I fucking love mushrooms. Don't really understand how you can afford to turn your nose up at them if you're a veggie, they are an absolute staple for Mrs Rents.

Exactly. You've got to enact these little acts of revenge when you can.

One of life's little pleasures is eating tinned fish in the vicinity of people like you. Tough titty.

} Love fish cakes, love sprouts cooked correctly. Rhubarb, marzipan, avocado meh. I always love the look of sea food, crustaceans and the like, but it usually disappoints taste wise. Don't hate it though. Probably the only thing I'd struggle to eat is offal, especially tripe or faggots. Horrible.

TBF I just said "I didn't know you knew me that well" before throwing it in the box with all the other shite mugs I've acquired over a lifetime.

We swapped our Secret Santa presents day earlier this week. I took a considerable amount of thought over mine, got my colleague a personalised present that he will genuinely use. Anyway, the lad who was supposed to get mine obviously had completely forgot, so off he runs to the shop to get an emergency present. Everyone's opened theirs by the time he arrives back then so he has to give it straight to me. The cheeky cunt got me this.

Before I forget, I listened to this during my walk this lunch time. Explains the problems the West are experiencing with immigration and the trade offs that politicians of both sides just cannot be honest about. It's well worth a listen. Prof Hein de Haas undoubtedly knows his onions, despite being a dutch cunt rather than a french cunt.

Are you sure you didn't meet up with - erm - Jacob Rees Mogg?

Gordon's injured isn't he?

Someone's not getting their champagne enema this year......

Never mind that, what the fuck is happening with this title? Gemmill not only unilaterally decides he is the geek to start the thread, but destroys months or years worth of tradition with a title only an accountant could be proud of? We're fucked now.

I completely agree re: where we were and the future I just think it's delusional to pretend finishing last place was a good thing, which is what a lot of people have convinced themselves of. I always assumed under Keegan and Robson after each disappointment we'd win something at a later point, and we never did. I know things are genuinely different now, but my guess is our history is giving me nagging doubts.

They're in the league and FA cups.

What the holy fuck is this?