peasepud

Organised a chapel of rest visit for my mum to see dad tomorrow. There's no way I'm going in like

RT "@thompers opinion on toontastic that LeazesMag continues to spoil place. But wait... wasn't I the one responsible? #pricks" aww diddums

These are now on toilet walls at work I defy anyone to look at it for 10seconds & not sing a Beach Boys track http://t.co/oieyKkoy

“@tfeditor1892: Rushing back players rather than signing new ones to strengthen the squad? http://t.co/lv3lD0c7 #NUFC”Like 2 new signings

without peeking, can anyone name me the chairman of #NUST?

That last RT shows how to go from Olympic Hero to zero in one tweet!

Pick a number from 1 to 206 #nufc

Wankah #dogorcitybanker

“@markbradley1986: Why's Lawro holding his nob?”Hansens got an injunction out

“@Tony_Jeffries: 2013 is first year since 1987 to have all different numbers!”& 0,1,2,3 is in your counting range, result! #smb

Unless we're saying the ref was at fault for at least 3 goals then we've not got anyone to blame but ourselves #Nufc

#hatembomb!!!!!

“@honigstein: Cisse's attitude, knee & contractual situation much healthier than Ba's #NUFC”It's goals that win games though

Want more followers? Heres an idea, tweet stuff that's interesting/funny rather than beg RTs.Please RT

“@NUFCnu: Newcastle hope they can keep Demba Ba http://t.co/xw4BjzN5 #nufc”That's not even in your list of headlines

Goal 116 Charlton at home 20/04/02 #206Goals #Nufc http://t.co/yNOOylE9

“@PaulRobbins1969: @pjwhitfield do you like the new name or not?” are you serious? It's a stain on our great club #Nufc.

“@CharlesRichmond: The Gang http://t.co/LHk8s2XS” @stevewraith is wearing less eyeliner than usual

“@orrible_git: Funny how women wake up and think of loved ones. Men wake up and check their balls are still there”Same thing though

“Liverpool: Dietmar Hamann reveals how lost £288k in single bet as gambling and drinking took over his life” I LOVE KARMA

This #partywithmarty is now turning into the sort where someone breaks your mums best vase & is sick in your kex drawer

“@JohnnyBrookes14: Arsenal will not pay 21m for Ben Arfa, nt a fucking chance, and where would he play?”The Emirates? #boomboom

“@JohnSAFC_FTM: [ #nufc] have 1 decent player i suppose in Cisse but still, Saha has more experience than him.”Straws..clutched #FTM

If Lord Of the Rings had been set in 1977 then Leyton Baines would be nailed on for a starring role

I can't believe @DurhamPolice are taking the credit for the number 101, it's existed since the decimal system began @SophChronicle