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IF Quentin Tarantino had directed Star Wars.

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46. Stormtroopers are spray-painted so they aren't all "Mr. White"

 

45. Darth Vader dances around as he tortures Han Solo to the song "Stuck

 

In The Middle With You." Then he looks at the guard and says "Bring in the gimp."

 

44. Mace Windu with a 'fro.

 

43. Releasing the episodes in the order of 6,3,2,4,5, and finaly 1 just so people wont notice how uninteresting the entire hexilogy is.

 

42. John Williams score replaced by surf music.

 

41. Everyone dies. EVERYONE.

 

40. Anakin would give Padame a foot masage after which he gets trown off

 

the balcony by Mace Winu settleing the arguement once and for all...

 

39. Womp rats may taste like pumpkin pie but I'd never know 'cause I'll

 

never eat the filthy *&$*@&!&@*#*

 

38. Instead of handing Luke his fathers lightsaber, Ben gives him some vampire stakes, holy water, and a huge submachinegun.

 

37. Yoda: "Hungry, I am. Taco, we will get."

 

36. Anakin and Padme doing the bat-dance

 

35. Mace Windu tells Padme, "Try not to tear his robes off, OK? They're

 

new."

 

34. There would be confusion throughout the movie, until the end, when

 

Yoda and Obi-Wan sneak out the back, as all the remaining Jedi kill each

 

other.

 

33. When a Stormtrooper empties his blaster and doesnt hit Han or Luke,

 

Luke thinks it was divine intervention...

 

32. Instead of hands, the Skywalkers now get their ears cut off

 

31. Jabba would have a band-aid on the back of his neck, sparking endless

 

online debate

 

30. Obi-Wan refuses to tip Dexter, and takes 10 minutes to explain why

 

29. "Death Stick?" "I quit." (pause) "Why, you got one?"

 

28. "Say Utini again... SAY UTINI AGAIN! I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE DARE YOU

 

M...F....!!!"

 

27. Mace Windu would always quote The Journal of the Whills before he killed someone...

 

26. Screw that, I'm watching Godzilla vs. Disco Lando!

 

25. Instead of the Death Star destroying planets, the Empire would have a

 

briefcase that did it.

 

24. Rumours that R2-D2 is really carrying Tarkin's soul

 

23. Han Solo and Lando Calrisian in the cantina talking about what Sy Snootles *really* sings about (this is the point where they say screw the

 

PG rating)

 

22. Natalie Portman in a gold bikini - for the entire movie

 

21. Don't be tellin' me about no Jedi's - I'm the Jedi f---in' master

 

20. Obi-Wan - The way your dad looked at it, this lightsaber was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the jawas were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright.

 

19. "On Kessel, it's legal to buy it, legal to own it, and if you're the proprietor of a spice mine, it's legal to sell it."

 

18. Bocce!!!!, do you speak it?!?!

 

17. Lot's and lot's of Death sticks. And you wouldn't even have to rethink your life.

 

16. Sign on front lawn that says "Dead Jawa Storage."

 

15. In Return of the Jedi the film ends with The Emperor and Darth Vader shooting each other just before the Stormtroopers arrive.

 

14. Greedo gets shot while sitting in the bathroom on the Millenium Falcon.

 

13. Luke:"Obi-Wan, what's that name supposed to mean?" Obi-Wan:"I'm a Jedi, our names don't mean shit."

 

12. "Bantha-burgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast!"

 

11. pulp fanfiction

 

10. Instead of Obi Wan, Luke talks to the ghost of Elvis.

 

9. "Well, the thing on my mind right now isn't the good coffee in my cup, it's the dead gungan in my garage." <-- much better writing, as seen in this Anakin quote.

 

8. Whenever Mace Windu turns on his lightsaber he says "Oh, I'm sorry did I break yo concentration?"

 

7. (as the emperor zaps luke) "...and you will know I AM A SITH when i lay my hands upon thee!!!"

 

6. "Well, you've got a cool name like TK-421. How about I just be TK-705? I'll be TK-705."

 

5. There goes the PG rating!

 

4. Yoda: "Your weapons... you will undoubtedly need them!"

 

3. It take 20 parsecs to get there. I'll be there in 10

 

2. Han shots first...over...and over...and over...and over...

 

1. When the interrogation droid approaches Leia "Stuck in The Middle with You" starts playing

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