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My housemate just admitted she's cheated on her boyfriend of five years. She didn't sleep with the guy but pretty much everything but.

 

Now I'm not a big fan of her boyfriend, he's a bit dull and doesn't strike me as very attentive, but I believe she owes it to him to be honest. All her girlfriends are encouraging her to keep shtum and carry on regardless.

 

For me, Cheating is an indication you're not happy with your lot, and she's made claims to that recently... so I said, if you're cheating on him, you clearly don't want to be with him. If that's the case you should be honest and leave him. She's worried about what everyone will think of her and will label her a slag etc. I've got to be honest, I love this girl like a sister but I'm so disappointed in her that I couldn't bring myself to be particularly sympathetic. Especially since I've been on thereceiving end of cheating.

 

I guess my question is this, Is my suggestion that she comes clean and leaves him disproportionately coloured by my own experiences? Or are her other friends simply fawning to her and dragging out a relationship that is essentially built on lies?

 

How would you deal with it if you were the cheater and how would you advise your best mate if they were the cheater?

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If I was the cheater then I wouldn't want to hear anyone else's "advice" and would probably give them a slap for sticking their neb in where it's no wanted.

 

If my mate's doing the cheating, I'll say nothing. It's their life, and they can live it their way.

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If I was the cheater then I wouldn't want to hear anyone else's "advice" and would probably give them a slap for sticking their neb in where it's no wanted.

 

If my mate's doing the cheating, I'll say nothing. It's their life, and they can live it their way.

fair enough, but what if they asked your opinion and you could no longer hide behind the nmp defense? :o

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If I was the cheater then I wouldn't want to hear anyone else's "advice" and would probably give them a slap for sticking their neb in where it's no wanted.

 

If my mate's doing the cheating, I'll say nothing. It's their life, and they can live it their way.

fair enough, but what if they asked your opinion and you could no longer hide behind the nmp defense? :o

 

That would be a whole different kettle of fish in that case, Fishy Fishmeister...

 

The fact that she had asked your opinion means she already knows she's doing something she's not altogether comfortable with...in which case, I'd lay it on thick and tell her she's a dirty slag with the sexual morals of an alleycat and that I hope she realises that her boyfriend will be devastated when he finds out that she's been fellating complete strangers in the pub car park...and for good measure, I'd tell her I hope she dies of a freak strain of syphilis.

 

:razz:

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pretty much did that... maybe not so succinctly and with a little less flair for the dramatic, but I made sure that I didn't sugar coat it and she knew she'd done wrong.

 

oh, I don't wish ill on her, I just want her to be a grown-up and own-up.

 

wow poetry at this time of the morning? I must be tired. :o

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pretty much did that... maybe not so succinctly and with a little less flair for the dramatic, but I made sure that I didn't sugar coat it and she knew she'd done wrong.

 

oh, I don't wish ill on her, I just want her to be a grown-up and own-up.

 

wow poetry at this time of the morning? I must be tired. :o

 

Of course what you should have said is that you'd keep it a secret, but in light of the new evidence of her being a filthy slag, only so long as you were getting a large portion too.

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My housemate just admitted she's cheated on her boyfriend of five years. She didn't sleep with the guy but pretty much everything but.

 

Now I'm not a big fan of her boyfriend, he's a bit dull and doesn't strike me as very attentive, but I believe she owes it to him to be honest. All her girlfriends are encouraging her to keep shtum and carry on regardless.

 

For me, Cheating is an indication you're not happy with your lot, and she's made claims to that recently... so I said, if you're cheating on him, you clearly don't want to be with him. If that's the case you should be honest and leave him. She's worried about what everyone will think of her and will label her a slag etc. I've got to be honest, I love this girl like a sister but I'm so disappointed in her that I couldn't bring myself to be particularly sympathetic. Especially since I've been on thereceiving end of cheating.

 

I guess my question is this, Is my suggestion that she comes clean and leaves him disproportionately coloured by my own experiences? Or are her other friends simply fawning to her and dragging out a relationship that is essentially built on lies?

 

How would you deal with it if you were the cheater and how would you advise your best mate if they were the cheater?

So she should be worried as well, it's her own fault that such accusations would be coming her way.

 

Never been on the receiving end or have done it but there's absolutely no need for it at all, if you're not happy then just finish it, but don't make a complete fool out of someone by cheating on them.

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Ahhh the young persons advice its always great.

 

Sometimes its not as simple as saying "Its over" sometimes you can be confused as to what you want to do, sometimes things just happen and in other cases you know you want to do the right thing and end things but at the same time you dont want to hurt the person.

 

Its very easy to label someone a slag, to do it to a best friend is (imho) a bit fookin shitty.

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I don't think one time renders her a slag, but equally I think that not being honest about it with him makes her deceitful. The clear absence of anything even approaching a crisis of conscience about it is by far the most damning thing about the whole transaction iywmho.

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I think it's easy to be the one to say "be 100% honest" when you're either on the outside looking in or if you're the one being cheated on.

 

Human nature is to try to keep as many people as happy as possible, there's not many people out there who set out to deliberately hurt someone.

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Tell her she's grassed unless she starts sucking you off at least twice a week or until you decide you've had enough.

 

She's obviously a slag anyway, might as well go all out imo

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I'd stay out of it tbh.

if it was anyone else I would, but she's my closest friend and has asked my advice. I'd like to give her objective counsel but I know my past is tempering any and all advice I can give. :o

 

If I were him I'd want at least some slice of the truth, to justify ending a five year relationship

If I were her I'd have to be totally honest and sleep in the bed I've made.

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Guest alex

I'd stay out of it tbh.

if it was anyone else I would, but she's my closest friend and has asked my advice. I'd like to give her objective counsel but I know my past is tempering any and all advice I can give. :o

 

If I were him I'd want at least some slice of the truth, to justify ending a five year relationship

If I were her I'd have to be totally honest and sleep in the bed I've made.

Tell her what you think, then keep out of it :razz:

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[Fish's new Sloaney accent] I must say, I'm really rather bladdy annoyed about what you've been getting up to! That guy is a seeeeeriously bladdy good chap.....and.....well you've really got my gander up! [/sloane]

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