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Super_Steve_Howey

Have you ever faked an orgasm?

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No

 

Why would you need to?

 

Too much effort? Ugly bird? Drugs?

 

Say No, ditch her, don't take them

 

Pretty simple really...

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I'm not a very vocal person in bed so apart from pulling out and spitting on wor lasses back it's pretty much impossible for me to fake one.

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I'm not a very vocal person in bed so apart from pulling out and spitting on wor lasses back it's pretty much impossible for me to fake one.

 

Probably not going to make it into the Hollywood hall of fame tbh.

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wtf :panic:

 

This should be renamed the "I shag birds loads honest..." thread.

:panic: as previously mentioned ....sad sad sad

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Never faked an orgasm but have faked impotence, pulled a lass after a night out went back to hers and I knew the minute I saw her fanny I wasn't going anywhere near the fucka! Hairiest pie I've ever saw, was weird cos she was well kept everywhere else!

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The good old 'faked' impotence after a night on the lash :lol:

 

Not this time but it has happened before, was on holiday in Spain and a lass came over and said, "You are a beautiful man" in a thick Spanish accent, So I responded fluently saying, "Tu esta guapo!" Translates iirc as you are beautiful", straight out the phrase book. Anyway within 5 minutes were walking back to my appartment, we get in there, get naked, got worried a bit when she muttered something in Spanish when she saw my hairy chest (just as well I had my back waxed before I went or it could've been a deal breaker). Anyway we went to go at it and nowt was happening downstairs, now this was not normal, I'm usually as hard as Meenzer in a cupboard full of benders when I'm on the job but I'd been out in the sun all day, up all night the night before and drinking pretty much continuosly.

 

So we stopped got the phrase book out and had a surreal conversation pointing at words in the book. About 15 minutes later she went to the bog and as she got up she crawled slowly over me so that her Spanish mingella was right in my dish, this was more than enough to get the bood flow going and when she returned (for the record I'm sure she had a shit when she went to the bog, she took a while) she got what the Spaniard call El Fucko Fantastico.

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The good old 'faked' impotence after a night on the lash :lol:

 

Not this time but it has happened before, was on holiday in Spain and a lass came over and said, "You are a beautiful man" in a thick Spanish accent, So I responded fluently saying, "Tu esta guapo!" Translates iirc as you are beautiful", straight out the phrase book. Anyway within 5 minutes were walking back to my appartment, we get in there, get naked, got worried a bit when she muttered something in Spanish when she saw my hairy chest (just as well I had my back waxed before I went or it could've been a deal breaker). Anyway we went to go at it and nowt was happening downstairs, now this was not normal, I'm usually as hard as Meenzer in a cupboard full of benders when I'm on the job but I'd been out in the sun all day, up all night the night before and drinking pretty much continuosly.

 

So we stopped got the phrase book out and had a surreal conversation pointing at words in the book. About 15 minutes later she went to the bog and as she got up she crawled slowly over me so that her Spanish mingella was right in my dish, this was more than enough to get the bood flow going and when she returned (for the record I'm sure she had a shit when she went to the bog, she took a while) she got what the Spaniard call El Fucko Fantastico.

 

Talking of shit, isn't it about time you took your face for one :D

Edited by Wacky Jnr

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The good old 'faked' impotence after a night on the lash :lol:

 

Not this time but it has happened before, was on holiday in Spain and a lass came over and said, "You are a beautiful man" in a thick Spanish accent, So I responded fluently saying, "Tu esta guapo!" Translates iirc as you are beautiful", straight out the phrase book. Anyway within 5 minutes were walking back to my appartment, we get in there, get naked, got worried a bit when she muttered something in Spanish when she saw my hairy chest (just as well I had my back waxed before I went or it could've been a deal breaker). Anyway we went to go at it and nowt was happening downstairs, now this was not normal, I'm usually as hard as Meenzer in a cupboard full of benders when I'm on the job but I'd been out in the sun all day, up all night the night before and drinking pretty much continuosly.

 

So we stopped got the phrase book out and had a surreal conversation pointing at words in the book. About 15 minutes later she went to the bog and as she got up she crawled slowly over me so that her Spanish mingella was right in my dish, this was more than enough to get the bood flow going and when she returned (for the record I'm sure she had a shit when she went to the bog, she took a while) she got what the Spaniard call El Fucko Fantastico.

 

Talking of shit, isn't it about time you took your face for one :D

 

Hey true story, John the homme was there, well at least for the first part in the bar when she came over, he thought she was talking to him, muppet.

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As it happens i remember you telling me. Not long after i started working with you.

One of many son, one of many! :lol:

 

 

Wasn't that the one where she pulled a strap-on out and her and Jon the homme dp'd you?

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As it happens i remember you telling me. Not long after i started working with you.

One of many son, one of many! :lol:

 

 

Wasn't that the one where she pulled a strap-on out and her and Jon the homme dp'd you?

 

It's 20 to 1 and it's quiet on here so.......yes thats the one! Chaff a bit those strap ons mind.

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I have done once, really couldn't be bothered. I am sure many have with me :lol:

 

Whatever. :D

 

Yeah I have, if I've had enough and I want to go to sleep/make a sandwich/finish examining the patient.

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I have done once, really couldn't be bothered. I am sure many have with me :lol:

 

Whatever. :D

 

Yeah I have, if I've had enough and I want to go to sleep/make a sandwich/finish examining the patient.

 

 

Hundreds, I am the MAN baby! <_<

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