geordieshandy 0 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 My cousin's god father is Billy Fane (Geoff Keegan, Byker Grove) Beat that bitches. I used to play rugby with his son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 2929 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 My nanna did her family tree and reckons we are related to Captain Cook So it's your fault we're on this god forsaken island? I'm blaming you cunt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newcastlebroon 0 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 I also got Jermaine Jenas to sign a photo of me as it was the only thing I had on me when I was in the local tesco. He didn't look to pleased, but I thought fuck it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMiyagi 0 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 In 2005 I went to Tenerife with 8 other lads. My mate, named "Big JC" (referring to his beer belly not his girth) shagged our Thomson holiday rep, who had previously engaged in sexual relations with none other than Orlando Bloom. I think you'll all struggle to beat that one TBH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 13990 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 I sat in a Sinclair C5 somewhere in Team Valley shortly after Frank Bruno had done the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 May have posted this before but can't be arsed to check.... I've boned Donna Air and Cheryl Tweedy winked at me on Nothumberland Street! Wor lass was foaming. Beat that bozo's! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 (edited) May have posted this before but can't be arsed to check.... I've boned Donna Air and Cheryl Tweedy winked at me on Nothumberland Street! Wor lass was foaming. Beat that bozo's! I thought you had only spunked in Donna's hair. As for Tweedy winking at you What the fuck would she be wanting to wink at a young Benitez with middle aged spread for Edited June 14, 2007 by Wacky Jnr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbyshinton 59 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 I knew that former Northampton Town player and manager Graham Carr was a relative of mine being the cousin of my maternal Grandma (maiden name Carr) and being from the same village (Burradon). It turns out the comedian Alan Carr is his son. Fucking hell I'm funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8951 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 I was kissed by Jenny Powell met Nobby the Sheep "dissed" Warren Barton when he was shit kicked McClen up a height went to a national conference where Derek Redmond was the guest speaker and stood behind him on the escalator afterwards sat behind Pav on a flight to London when I was 14 (I also ruffled his hair because I'd gone in for a hanshake only to find both his hands full ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34191 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 I've held one of Matthew Pinsent's Olympic gold medals. No euphemisms whatsoever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 13990 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 sat behind Pav on a flight to London when I was 14 (I also ruffled his hair because I'd gone in for a hanshake only to find both his hands full ) I gave Bjarni Gudjonsson a blow-job based on much the same logic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34191 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 sat behind Pav on a flight to London when I was 14 (I also ruffled his hair because I'd gone in for a hanshake only to find both his hands full ) That's some detour. I picture your hand like a propellor plane in a movie trying to make the last minute ascent to get over a mountain..................*ruffle* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 sat behind Pav on a flight to London when I was 14 (I also ruffled his hair because I'd gone in for a hanshake only to find both his hands full ) I gave Bjarni Gudjonsson a blow-job based on much the same logic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8951 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 sat behind Pav on a flight to London when I was 14 (I also ruffled his hair because I'd gone in for a hanshake only to find both his hands full ) That's some detour. I picture your hand like a propellor plane in a movie trying to make the last minute ascent to get over a mountain..................*ruffle* worst thing was that he was sat down, I was standing, so it was more like a Stukka attack I refused to get off the plane until he did so that I didn't suffetr the embarrassment of his withering gaze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 Pav = Inspector Gadget back then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8951 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 oh I was ignored by Jo Absolom (sp?) in Hyde Park (london) I was a bit drunk and was shouting Jo repeatedly in a style made famous by Alan Partridge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 Who the fuck's Jo Absolom? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 2929 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 Mrs Absolom's daughter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13817 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 I thought it was Mr.Absolom's daughter tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimburst 0 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 My uncle broke prince Charles' nose, and my dad has been in a bath with that spikey haired woman outta the "hilarious" comedy 'My Family' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 2929 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 I thought it was Mr.Absolom's daughter tbh No everyone knows she a right bastid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 The Fish is obviously too embarrassed to answer the question. Googled it and Joe Absolom was in Eastenders. Him out of Spandau Ballet tried to frame him for murder iirc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 My uncle broke prince Charles' nose, and my dad has been in a bath with that spikey haired woman outta the "hilarious" comedy 'My Family' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walliver 0 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 Was he playing Andy Goram? No. My dad was standing at the bar with his back to the table. I have no idea who Goram's opponent was. Come on people, what's with all these good claims to fame? We've heard them all before, this thread is for the really shit ones Oh and: I dont really see how any of this beats being related to Captain Cook. Hes only one Consonant away from being Captain Hook tbh. I could've sworn you were going to say something else there. Captain Cool? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8951 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 was in Eastenders and had a mercifully brief "music" career Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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