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Guys and Gals

 

I have a bit of an issue with myself and I need to overcome it because it aint good. So, if you can help it would be much appreciated.

 

Well, the problem is this. There is a guy who likes my bird. He has in the past (before I was seeing her) asked her out on a couple of dates which she told me she declined, but thats in the past. Anyways, he still texts her and emails her, they are friends at the end of the day, but this really boils my piss. If she hadnt told me that he's asked her out a couple of times I wouldnt be bothered.

 

Anyways, this guy comes round to see my girlfriends father every now and then, and if I am there he always says "oh sorry for not answering your emails/texts/calls (delete as applicable), I've been busy" just to wind me up (yes it works).

 

Anyways, We go away to the Dales every Novemeber for a get together and he is one of the original group as is my girlfriend. We stay in a hostel with mixed rooms yet my girlfriend and I try to get a room on our own as she is the only girl, yet he always comes into the same room as us so we leave yet he follows us like a bad smell. I have been twice and I have never been 100% comfortable with him and I do sort of enjoy it (some go walking I go biking) but I just wanna smash his skull in.

 

The first year I went I was rather emotional as I had just lost my mother to cancer and after a few pints and chatting he was chatting with my girlfriend (nothing wrong with it I know) but I just broke down and had to go for a long walk and to calm down. Last year we went and we all go into a debate about concrete, as I am structural engineer he kept pushing for me to bite at an argument, I again had to leave to chill out. He just pushes a raw nerve with me, but what made it worse last time was all her mates kept saying to me "He'll be ok" before we even got to the pub, this making me think that they know I hate him and they know he still holds a flame for her? We were in the sitting room in the hostel one morning and there was about 6 / 7 seats to sit at including a few couches. Anyways, I stand up to go get a cup of tea and walk in the room and out of the 4 vacant seats, where is he? Sat nicley next to my girlfriend. CUNT

 

The trip is on again this year and I just dont know if I want to go, I dont want to let my girlfriend down as she loves the weekend, but I dont think I can do it. She knows I cant stand him. The problem is if I carry on like this with this one cretin its gonna ruin me. I cant seem to go away for one weekend on the lash and have a good time with the lads who are there. Cretin boy always seems to do my head in.

 

Last night he picked a door up for my girlfriend and she showed him round our house we are in the process of doing up. It just made me fell sick but why? What the fucking hell is wrong with me? Why cant I stop being a jealous prick? I trust my gfriend 110% and I know Cretin Cunt has no chance but it still touches a nerve.

 

Please someone help me :razz:

 

I have been told just to laugh it off etc etc, but I am an emotional sort and I need to sort this before I loose my gfriend.

 

Thanks guys

 

*hugs everyone*

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Show your lass what you just wrote.

 

Agree totally. If she reads this, she'll know exactly how much its eating away at you and will do something about it if she has any interest in keeping the relationship working....

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Is she a bit of a tom-boy? i.e. prefers to be with the lads rather than girls? I had the same issue, whereby my last bird was best mates with a bloke from childhood, did my head in purely out of jealousy, although I knew nothing would ever happen as it would be like shagging your sister for him (I presumed, you never really know what's in someone's head). My own theory on this is that in a boy girl friendship there is always one that wants it to go further, as I have kidded myself in the same way before. Anyway, when I thought about it, he was probably just as annoyed about me being around as I was of him, although she'd pretty much always had fellas. So I just accepted him as a mate rather than a competitor, and we had some fairly good nights out on the piss. In the end when it finally finished, it had nowt to do with him, and he actually backed me up in a few arguments/wind ups :D

 

Anyway, I guess it just hinges on how she feels about him. If she really doesn't like him then, or she just doesn' want to upset an aquaintance, you need to tell him in no uncertain terms to fuck off, and she should back you up 100%. If she does like him as a *good* mate, I think you have to just live with it.

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Stope being a pussy for a start. If he sits next to your girlfriend on your return, smile, say 'hoy you (laugh) get oot of my seat man!, i wanna sit next to our lass!'

 

Dominate him psychologically by never raising to the bait, treating him firmly but politely and with a smile.

 

You could also discuss it with your lass or you could just get over yourself and enjoy your relationship (which doesnt include him if you hadnt noticed). Sorry for sounding harsh but you need to man up.

Edited by ChezGiven
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Thats my problem. My girlfriend is a friend of his and I dont want to dictate who is going to be a friend of hers, unless it is threatining her. She knows I hate him,

 

Obviously, try not to make it sound as if you're telling her what to do but try and make the point that he's getting on your tits and while you don't mind them being friends the way he acts does bother you quite alot. Ask her how she'd feel if there was a girl following you about like he is. She may see sense and have a word with him about it and since it's her telling him to back off he may take heed.

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Thats my problem. My girlfriend is a friend of his and I dont want to dictate who is going to be a friend of hers, unless it is threatining her. She knows I hate him,

 

You wouldn't be. She can do what she likes. But she'll know how you feel and you'd hope she'd do something about it. She's the only one that can really.

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I reckon she's a bit out of order if she can't see the problem you have with him. Would she be happy if it was the other way round? I doubt it. Not saying this is her fault, he is the problem. As has been said, you should tell her exactly what you just wrote, in fact you could even write her a letter so it all comes out exactly as you want it to. You can make some demands on her though imo, even if you don't feel you can stop her seeing him altogether (you probably don't want to make that sort of demand anyway). Also, as Chez points out, he's the one who is jealous of you here and not the other way around - you've got the lass after all. Btw, he'll be all over her like a rash if you don't go on that weekend. I'm sure you trust her but I bet you don't trust him.

Edited by alex
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I reckon she's a bit out of order if she can't see the problem you have with him. Would she be happy if it was the other way round? I doubt it. Not saying this is her fault, he is the problem. As has been said, you should tell her exactly what you just wrote, in fact you could even write her a letter so it all comes out exactly as you want it to. You can make some demands on her though imo, even if you don't feel you can stop her seeing him altogether (you probably don't want to make that sort of demand anyway). Also, as Chez points out, he's the one who is jealous of you here and not the other way around - you've got the lass after all. Btw, he'll be all over her like a rash if you don't go on that weekend. I'm sure you trust her but I bet you don't trust him.

 

 

Aye, maybe

 

The trust thing is, I trust her and thats the only person I need to trust? If he comes on to her or whatever I am 110% certain she will tell him to do one. But I know youre right and all the weekend it will eat away at me, but I jsut dont know if I can go away.

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Actually a chinning isn't bad advice, I had a mate in a similar position, his lass was even calling it off to give it a whirl with the other fella. So my mate broke his jaw and married the lass the following year :D

 

They can deny it, but the women love a bit of the ultra violence.

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If he comes on to her just because you are not there then that is lacking respect for both you and your girlfriend. Perhaps this would give you the opportunity to make her aware of his poor moral fibre, and in fact it should really be her who sorts him out/sets him straight.

 

If she's not prepared to sort him out then that's a whole different can of worms bonnie lad.

Edited by trophyshy
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If he comes on to her just because you are not there then that is lacking respect for both you and your girlfriend. Perhaps this would give you the opportunity to make her aware of his poor moral fibre, and in fact it should really be her who sorts him out/sets him straight.

 

Pretty much so.... :razz:

 

But chin him none-the-less :D

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Some lasses do like, some don't. I wouldn't advise it though. Under these circumstances anyway.

 

Aye, probably a last resort.

Purely because it could make wykikitoon look like the cunt and be exactly what this other kid wants.

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RICO

 

Aye mate. She plays hockey for Leeds and its that sort of menatllity in the club and she has grown up that way.

 

She sees him as a mate, but not as good as he makes out to be. There are times he comes to see her old fella and she will hide away upstairs etc.

 

You're well within you're rights not to treat him with anything other than contempt then from what you've said. On the first day, and with her knowledge, take him to one side and explain a few home truths. If he doesn't change his behaviour after that, well, the options are either physical or mental, depending on your personality :D If it was me, rather than pummell him, I would manufacture a situation where I could publicly berate him for his sleazy ways, letting everyone know the situation (which has the defence that you gave him the opportunity in private to avoid the incident). He doesn't sound like the type to do anything in return, and by rights she shouldn't give you too much of a hard time for it.

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I reckon she's a bit out of order if she can't see the problem you have with him. Would she be happy if it was the other way round? I doubt it. Not saying this is her fault, he is the problem. As has been said, you should tell her exactly what you just wrote, in fact you could even write her a letter so it all comes out exactly as you want it to. You can make some demands on her though imo, even if you don't feel you can stop her seeing him altogether (you probably don't want to make that sort of demand anyway). Also, as Chez points out, he's the one who is jealous of you here and not the other way around - you've got the lass after all. Btw, he'll be all over her like a rash if you don't go on that weekend. I'm sure you trust her but I bet you don't trust him.

 

Id go with that like. She needs to know exactly whats on your mind and there's usually no better way than having her read it. But at the same time, you need to be a little bit firmer with him, although joking at the same time. Like asking him to budge over so you can sit with your lass lets him know where he stands and shows your lass that you want to be next to her. There is nowt wrong with being protective of your lass, but it shouldnt really come between any friendships she has, even if the lad is a twat. You have to let go a bit on that and trust her. I think you should go that weekend, but Id also suggest you do get a room alone and if he tries to jump in just ask him politely to understand you want some space with your lass.

 

I wouldnt ask her to stop seeing him though unless you had good cause, other than you just dont like him.

 

If that fails, piss on him while he is asleep and pretend to be asleep while you do it :D

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