Stun Gun

[Jusoda Kid 1]

STUN GUN ... ONLY A MAN WOULD DO THIS.

...

 

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. This

was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a

"pocket Taser" for their anniversary.

 

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn

Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our

22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little

something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across

was a

100,000 volt, pocket/purse sized taser. The effects

of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no

long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing

her adequate time to retreat to safety ... WAY TOO

COOL!

 

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it

home. I loaded two AAA batterie s in the darn thing

and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed.

I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND

pressed it against a metal surface at the same time,

I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and

forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I

have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on

the face of her microwave.

 

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking

to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only

two AAA batteries, right?!!!

 

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on

intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading

the directions and thinking that I really needed to

try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I

must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a

fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She

is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this

thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger,

I did want some assurance that it would work as

advertised. Am I wrong?

 

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top

with my reading glasses perched delicately on the

bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in

another. The directions said that a one second burst

would shock and disorient your assailant; a two second

burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major

loss of bodily control; a three second burst would

purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground

like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three

seconds would be wasting the batteries.

 

All the while I'm looking at this little device

measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4" in

circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two

itsy, bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "no

possible way!"

 

What happened next is almost beyond description, but

I'll do my best

.....

 

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her

head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it

master," reasoning that a one second burst from such a

tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I

decided to give myself a one second burst just for the

heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh,

pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS

DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!!

 

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side

door, picked me up in the recliner and then body slammed

us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.

I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal

position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet,

both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found,

with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest

position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was

standing over me making meowing sounds I had never

heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to

herself, "do it again, do it again!"

 

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself

with a taser, one note of caution: There is no such

thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself.

You will not let go of that thing until it is

dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about

on the floor. A three second burst would be

considered conservative.

 

SON-OF-A-.. that hurt like hell!!! A minute or so

later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing

at that point), collected my wits

(what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the

landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel

of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My

triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still

twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with

Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still

looking for my testicles? I'm offering a significant

reward for their safe return.

 

Still in shock,

 

Numb Nut blush.gif

Edited November 13, 2007 by Wacky Jnr

[Lazarus 0]

http://www.toontastic.net/board/index.php?...ic=5849&hl=

[Guest alex]

Did you hear about the bloke in this country, i.e. the diabetic who went into an insulin coma and was tazered twice by police after being found on a bus? He even had the chain around his neck describing his condition. Obviously posing a massive danger to the public like. One of those we'd like to think would happen 'only in America'. Just shows what arseholes some coppers are. No criminal charges are being brought by the way. Now there's a surprise.

[Fop 1]

Did you hear about the bloke in this country, i.e. the diabetic who went into an insulin coma and was tazered twice by police after being found on a bus? He even had the chain around his neck describing his condition. Obviously posing a massive danger to the public like. One of those we'd like to think would happen 'only in America'. Just shows what arseholes some coppers are. No criminal charges are being brought by the way. Now there's a surprise.

 

I just posted a thread (that seems to have been deleted for some reason - along with on about those Scottish heart attack data being bollocks) about the Canada stun gun death.

 

 

Guy was tasered on video and died:

 

Video: http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_70...sb=1&news=1

 

Story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7095875.stm

 

They aren't "safe" or even non-lethal, just safer and less lethal than conventional guns.

 

And as I've said before we've already had our first police stun gun related death in the UK.

[Guest alex]

I think they're probably ineffectual in the way something like pepper spray is too. I.e. it'll work in a situation where the police would have been physically able to restrain the person anyway but not when it's (for example) a young lass trying to control a charva. And it's pretty open to abuse. I would say however that, although the diabetic bloke I mentioned above was totally innocent, the use of the tazer was quite probably borne out of the polis in question having to deal with drunken arseholes on a far too regular basis. That doesn't excuse what happened though. I bet they're bad news if you have a pacemaker like.

[Fop 1]

I think they're probably ineffectual in the way something like pepper spray is too. I.e. it'll work in a situation where the police would have been physically able to restrain the person anyway but not when it's (for example) a young lass trying to control a charva. And it's pretty open to abuse. I would say however that, although the diabetic bloke I mentioned above was totally innocent, the use of the tazer was quite probably borne out of the polis in question having to deal with drunken arseholes on a far too regular basis. That doesn't excuse what happened though. I bet they're bad news if you have a pacemaker like.

 

Well they are fairly effective so long as they are used as instruments of torture (inflict massive pain till the give up/pass out), but it's massively open to abuse.

 

Previously in the UK they've been used with pretty much the same rules as conventional firearms have been used (i.e. pretty sparingly), but with the nationwide deployment they are going to be used and abused much like pepper spray (which it now used much more widely than it was supposed to be - it was supposed to be purely for self defence - now that's probably the least common way for the police to use it).

 

The thing is even being a drunken arsehole (never mind some poor sod of a diabetic) doesn't justify torture for compliance.

 

Never mind that if you have any sort of heart condition (or even not) it may well kill you.

[smudger 0]

Did you hear about the bloke in this country, i.e. the diabetic who went into an insulin coma and was tazered twice by police after being found on a bus? He even had the chain around his neck describing his condition. Obviously posing a massive danger to the public like. One of those we'd like to think would happen 'only in America'. Just shows what arseholes some coppers are. No criminal charges are being brought by the way. Now there's a surprise.

 

I just posted a thread (that seems to have been deleted for some reason - along with on about those Scottish heart attack data being bollocks) about the Canada stun gun death.

 

 

Guy was tasered on video and died:

 

Video: http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_70...sb=1&news=1

 

Story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7095875.stm

 

They aren't "safe" or even non-lethal, just safer and less lethal than conventional guns.

 

And as I've said before we've already had our first police stun gun related death in the UK.

 

 

[Fop 1]

Did you hear about the bloke in this country, i.e. the diabetic who went into an insulin coma and was tazered twice by police after being found on a bus? He even had the chain around his neck describing his condition. Obviously posing a massive danger to the public like. One of those we'd like to think would happen 'only in America'. Just shows what arseholes some coppers are. No criminal charges are being brought by the way. Now there's a surprise.

 

I just posted a thread (that seems to have been deleted for some reason - along with on about those Scottish heart attack data being bollocks) about the Canada stun gun death.

 

 

Guy was tasered on video and died:

 

Video: http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_70...sb=1&news=1

 

Story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7095875.stm

 

They aren't "safe" or even non-lethal, just safer and less lethal than conventional guns.

 

And as I've said before we've already had our first police stun gun related death in the UK.

 

 

 

Hilarious, I'm sure.

[Bombadil 0]

Did you hear about the bloke in this country, i.e. the diabetic who went into an insulin coma and was tazered twice by police after being found on a bus? He even had the chain around his neck describing his condition. Obviously posing a massive danger to the public like. One of those we'd like to think would happen 'only in America'. Just shows what arseholes some coppers are. No criminal charges are being brought by the way. Now there's a surprise.

 

I just posted a thread (that seems to have been deleted for some reason - along with on about those Scottish heart attack data being bollocks) about the Canada stun gun death.

 

 

Guy was tasered on video and died:

 

Video: http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_70...sb=1&news=1

 

Story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7095875.stm

 

They aren't "safe" or even non-lethal, just safer and less lethal than conventional guns.

 

And as I've said before we've already had our first police stun gun related death in the UK.

 

That's horrible.