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Lost in translation(the Ipswitch Files)

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You ever had a conversation with a non native emglish speaker that goes slightly awry?

 

I have a friend on facebook whos chatting me up, and shes from azerbaijan.

 

She came out with this classic yesterday...

 

"I am sorry to disappoint you, but no signs of bird flu here. I am a healthy and hot woman keeping herself and everyone around erect to the maximum length of time (preferrably non-stop)."

 

i replied asking if she was bedding all the males in ipswich!

 

she replied..

 

"I said I was healthy and hot. I am hot blooded. I don't catch silly colds or any sh*t like that. And I do my best to keep everyone in the same condition, so that no one had to lie in bed with their illness. Everyone had to be walking straight and engaging in activities, not burning their time with a petty flu."

 

 

yeah right petal!! i believe ya!! really !

Edited by qscqscqsc

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oh yeah... gold that...

 

I'll tell my mate he's bound to use platinum material like that in his next show....

 

:icon_lol:

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oh yeah... gold that...

 

I'll tell my mate he's bound to use platinum material like that in his next show....

 

:rolleyes:

 

Fish takes an instant dislike to the new blood due to non-capitalisation of "ipswich" and the unforgivable "whos".

 

:icon_lol:

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You ever had a conversation with a non native emglish speaker that goes slightly awry?

 

I have a friend on facebook whos chatting me up, and shes from azerbaijan.

 

She came out with this classic yesterday...

 

"I am sorry to disappoint you, but no signs of bird flu here. I am a healthy and hot woman keeping herself and everyone around erect to the maximum length of time (preferrably non-stop)."

 

i replied asking if she was bedding all the males in ipswich!

 

she replied..

 

"I said I was healthy and hot. I am hot blooded. I don't catch silly colds or any sh*t like that. And I do my best to keep everyone in the same condition, so that no one had to lie in bed with their illness. Everyone had to be walking straight and engaging in activities, not burning their time with a petty flu."

 

 

yeah right petal!! i believe ya!! really !

 

You do realise he's probably 55, bald, fat and grooming you. :icon_lol:

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Guest stevieintoon
oh yeah... gold that...

 

I'll tell my mate he's bound to use platinum material like that in his next show....

 

:icon_lol:

shup up you sheep shaggin cunt

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oh yeah... gold that...

 

I'll tell my mate he's bound to use platinum material like that in his next show....

 

:)

shup up you sheep shaggin cunt

shup?

 

sheep shagging cunt?... ahhhh détente! :rolleyes:

 

not only a retard, but an internet hard man with it... your mother must be so proud. :icon_lol:

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Guest stevieintoon
oh yeah... gold that...

 

I'll tell my mate he's bound to use platinum material like that in his next show....

 

:)

shup up you sheep shaggin cunt

shup?

 

sheep shagging cunt?... ahhhh détente! :rolleyes:

 

not only a retard, but an internet hard man with it... your mother must be so proud. :icon_lol:

What's hard about calling you a sheep shaggin cunt, ye baaldy arsehole?

 

The lad makes an effort to lighten the mood, and you try and ridicule him, ye hardly a fuckin International man of comedy are ye? Half the cunts a naa that's met ye have said ye a total tool.

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What's hard about calling you a sheep shaggin cunt, ye baaldy arsehole?

 

The lad makes an effort to lighten the mood, and you try and ridicule him, ye hardly a fuckin International man of comedy are ye? Half the cunts a naa that's met ye have said ye a total tool.

 

Lighten the mood? I hadn't realised it was so sombre it needed refreshment?

 

I'm sure that vague statement you make is total bollocks, created on a whim to support whatever flight of fancy your angry little mind is on at this time. Even if it were true I couldn't give two pounds of donkey shit, you're an aggressive little man who needs to use vulgarity to get across your often ill-thought out point.

 

in short, you're just a bit of a charver steve

 

wow, I didn't need to call you a sheep shagger, a cunt or anything else so simply stumbled upon by a Neanderthal mindset ... I must be an elitist effete [insert popular swearword here] :icon_lol:

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Guest stevieintoon
What's hard about calling you a sheep shaggin cunt, ye baaldy arsehole?

 

The lad makes an effort to lighten the mood, and you try and ridicule him, ye hardly a fuckin International man of comedy are ye? Half the cunts a naa that's met ye have said ye a total tool.

 

Lighten the mood? I hadn't realised it was so sombre it needed refreshment?

 

I'm sure that vague statement you make is total bollocks, created on a whim to support whatever flight of fancy your angry little mind is on at this time. Even if it were true I couldn't give two pounds of donkey shit, you're an aggressive little man who needs to use vulgarity to get across your often ill-thought out point.

 

in short, you're just a bit of a charver steve

 

wow, I didn't need to call you a sheep shagger, a cunt or anything else so simply stumbled upon by a Neanderthal mindset ... I must be an elitist effete [insert popular swearword here] :icon_lol:

I don't think I'm a charver in the slightest, and what you think about me is about as inconsequential as anything can be. One thing I hate in life is people who have nothing to be arrogant about, yet are so far up their own arses, as far as I'm concerned that summarises you. Why belittle the lads post? The only reason I can think of, is to further demonstrate exactly what you are. You were looking for a "lol Fish", it didn't come, pipe down.

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I don't think I'm a charver in the slightest, and what you think about me is about as inconsequential as anything can be. One thing I hate in life is people who have nothing to be arrogant about, yet are so far up their own arses, as far as I'm concerned that summarises you. Why belittle the lads post? The only reason I can think of, is to further demonstrate exactly what you are. You were looking for a "lol Fish", it didn't come, pipe down.

 

 

 

I've never claimed to be good, great or average. My consternations are usually because people let themselves down, not because I think I'm flawless. He set himself up for a fall and I obliged, just like a million other people do everyday. Certainly it's an everyday occurrence on here, someone posts something, other people snipe at it. It's the way of the world and the microcosm simply reflects this. For example I don't think you could give a rat ass either way for the original post, it was simply a gut reaction to my post that brought about this little tete a tete, so just as I am guilty of having an unnecessary go at gscgsgcgs or whatever his name is, you're guilty of having a pop at me for no real reason other than to while a way half an hour or so.

 

so I shan't pipe down, and I'll continue as everybody else does. :icon_lol:

 

 

out of interest steve, why, when you can write like this, do you pepper most of your other posts with obscenities and aggression?

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What's hard about calling you a sheep shaggin cunt, ye baaldy arsehole?

 

The lad makes an effort to lighten the mood, and you try and ridicule him, ye hardly a fuckin International man of comedy are ye? Half the cunts a naa that's met ye have said ye a total tool.

 

Lighten the mood? I hadn't realised it was so sombre it needed refreshment?

 

I'm sure that vague statement you make is total bollocks, created on a whim to support whatever flight of fancy your angry little mind is on at this time. Even if it were true I couldn't give two pounds of donkey shit, you're an aggressive little man who needs to use vulgarity to get across your often ill-thought out point.

 

in short, you're just a bit of a charver steve

 

wow, I didn't need to call you a sheep shagger, a cunt or anything else so simply stumbled upon by a Neanderthal mindset ... I must be an elitist effete [insert popular swearword here] :icon_lol:

I don't think I'm a charver in the slightest, and what you think about me is about as inconsequential as anything can be. One thing I hate in life is people who have nothing to be arrogant about, yet are so far up their own arses, as far as I'm concerned that summarises you. Why belittle the lads post? The only reason I can think of, is to further demonstrate exactly what you are. You were looking for a "lol Fish", it didn't come, pipe down.

 

 

HYPOCRISY!

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Guest stevieintoon
fight-fight-fight-fight.

 

P.S. Steve does come across as wannabe Internet hardman with charver tendencies.

Surely an internet hardman would threaten people? Charver tendencies? Is that because I litter my posts with expletitives due to lack of vocabulary? According to one of The Queen's bultler's in his book, she swears twice in every sentence. I don't claim to be someone I'm not, and I don't say anything on here I wouldn't say in real life.

 

Wacky Junior from Walker had it right.

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fight-fight-fight-fight.

 

P.S. Steve does come across as wannabe Internet hardman with charver tendencies.

Surely an internet hardman would threaten people? Charver tendencies? Is that because I litter my posts with expletitives due to lack of vocabulary? According to one of The Queen's bultler's in his book, she swears twice in every sentence. I don't claim to be someone I'm not, and I don't say anything on here I wouldn't say in real life.

 

Wacky Junior from Walker had it right.

 

Heaton, I got out the hood years ago :icon_lol:

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fight-fight-fight-fight.

 

P.S. Steve does come across as wannabe Internet hardman with charver tendencies.

Surely an internet hardman would threaten people? Charver tendencies? Is that because I litter my posts with expletitives due to lack of vocabulary? According to one of The Queen's bultler's in his book, she swears twice in every sentence. I don't claim to be someone I'm not, and I don't say anything on here I wouldn't say in real life.

 

Wacky Junior from Walker had it right.

 

Heaton, I got out the hood years ago :icon_lol:

 

Aye, you can take the short arsed, dwarf-like, ginger mulleted numpty out of Walker but you can take the Walker out of the short arsed, dwarf-like, ginger mulleted numpty!

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fight-fight-fight-fight.

 

P.S. Steve does come across as wannabe Internet hardman with charver tendencies.

Surely an internet hardman would threaten people? Charver tendencies? Is that because I litter my posts with expletitives due to lack of vocabulary? According to one of The Queen's bultler's in his book, she swears twice in every sentence. I don't claim to be someone I'm not, and I don't say anything on here I wouldn't say in real life.

 

Wacky Junior from Walker had it right.

 

Heaton, I got out the hood years ago :icon_lol:

 

Aye, you can take the short arsed, dwarf-like, ginger mulleted numpty out of Walker but you can take the Walker out of the short arsed, dwarf-like, ginger mulleted numpty!

 

 

:rolleyes: You know me too well

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Guest stevieintoon
fight-fight-fight-fight.

 

P.S. Steve does come across as wannabe Internet hardman with charver tendencies.

Surely an internet hardman would threaten people? Charver tendencies? Is that because I litter my posts with expletitives due to lack of vocabulary? According to one of The Queen's bultler's in his book, she swears twice in every sentence. I don't claim to be someone I'm not, and I don't say anything on here I wouldn't say in real life.

 

Wacky Junior from Walker had it right.

 

Heaton, I got out the hood years ago :icon_lol:

 

Aye, you can take the short arsed, dwarf-like, ginger mulleted numpty out of Walker but you can take the Walker out of the short arsed, dwarf-like, ginger mulleted numpty!

 

 

:rolleyes: You know me too well

I thought he was on aboot your lass :)

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fight-fight-fight-fight.

 

P.S. Steve does come across as wannabe Internet hardman with charver tendencies.

Surely an internet hardman would threaten people? Charver tendencies? Is that because I litter my posts with expletitives due to lack of vocabulary? According to one of The Queen's bultler's in his book, she swears twice in every sentence. I don't claim to be someone I'm not, and I don't say anything on here I wouldn't say in real life.

 

Wacky Junior from Walker had it right.

 

Heaton, I got out the hood years ago :icon_lol:

 

Aye, you can take the short arsed, dwarf-like, ginger mulleted numpty out of Walker but you can take the Walker out of the short arsed, dwarf-like, ginger mulleted numpty!

 

 

:) You know me too well

I thought he was on aboot your lass :)

 

Ahh, yeeve got jokes as well ya cunt :rolleyes:

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