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Wiping your arse


Holden McGroin
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Guest BigThompers
They put the toilet roll down low on the wall for a reason: so that it's next to you when you come to wipe your arse. Has it never occurred to you standing up spastics that the bog roll has been rather inconveniently placed for your brand of bum-wiping?

 

That's why my skid-sheet isn't on the wall, numb-nuts.

 

Does that answer the question of why every public toilet in the country has it on the wall at a height where normal humans sit though?

 

The reason it is mounted at that height is so that you can remove an appropriate amount of paper whilst still in a sitting position whilst contemplating your upright wiping tactics, how you can you inspect the results of your wiping on your paper if you are sitting down ? do you slip your arm round the back or your arse and poke the paper through the gap between your tadger and the seat to inspect your handywork ?

 

You must be a right fat cunt if there's not ample room between your arse and the back of the toilet seat for wiping :blink:

 

 

Where did I say there wasn't enough room ?

 

"do you slip your arm round the back or your arse and poke the paper through the gap between your tadger and the seat to inspect your handywork ?"

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Do you wipe back to front or front to back?

 

Just wondered cos my fuck buddy was licking my ballbag earlier on and commented that she had the a taste of shit in her mouth afterwards and I am a back to front wiper too! :blink:

 

 

Jesus wept! Where do you piss from?

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Do you wipe back to front or front to back?

 

Just wondered cos my fuck buddy was licking my ballbag earlier on and commented that she had the a taste of shit in her mouth afterwards and I am a back to front wiper too! :blink:

 

 

Jesus wept! Where do you piss from?

 

What's that got to do with anything?

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Do you wipe back to front or front to back?

 

Just wondered cos my fuck buddy was licking my ballbag earlier on and commented that she had the a taste of shit in her mouth afterwards and I am a back to front wiper too! :blink:

 

 

Jesus wept! Where do you piss from?

 

What's that got to do with anything?

 

 

Lasses wipe from back to front when wiping their love canyon, it just made me wonder if you had a piss hole between your ring and your nut sack.

 

 

You can't tell me that wiping faeces from back to front is hygienic.

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They put the toilet roll down low on the wall for a reason: so that it's next to you when you come to wipe your arse. Has it never occurred to you standing up spastics that the bog roll has been rather inconveniently placed for your brand of bum-wiping?

 

That's why my skid-sheet isn't on the wall, numb-nuts.

 

Does that answer the question of why every public toilet in the country has it on the wall at a height where normal humans sit though?

 

The reason it is mounted at that height is so that you can remove an appropriate amount of paper whilst still in a sitting position whilst contemplating your upright wiping tactics, how you can you inspect the results of your wiping on your paper if you are sitting down ? do you slip your arm round the back or your arse and poke the paper through the gap between your tadger and the seat to inspect your handywork ?

 

You must be a right fat cunt if there's not ample room between your arse and the back of the toilet seat for wiping :blink:

 

 

Where did I say there wasn't enough room ?

 

"do you slip your arm round the back or your arse and poke the paper through the gap between your tadger and the seat to inspect your handywork ?"

 

Where did I say there wasn't enough room ?

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Do you wipe back to front or front to back?

 

Just wondered cos my fuck buddy was licking my ballbag earlier on and commented that she had the a taste of shit in her mouth afterwards and I am a back to front wiper too! :blink:

 

 

Jesus wept! Where do you piss from?

 

What's that got to do with anything?

 

 

Lasses wipe from back to front when wiping their love canyon, it just made me wonder if you had a piss hole between your ring and your nut sack.

 

 

You can't tell me that wiping faeces from back to front is hygienic.

 

There's that much hair down there that it wont really make much difference which way the Andrex flows, it's just a matted, whinet paradise. Makes bath time interesting mind! Like bathing in a tub full of coco pops after about 5 minutes!

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I just can't grasp how you can give your arse a proper wiping whilst still sitting down, it's just not right.

 

Can I just clarify that the minute I crimp off I don't automatically stand bolt upright to attention, it's more a crouching tiger number.

 

You're sounding like a 'sitter' to me...

 

HF and his motley crew apparently have their backs as straight as an arrow when wiping - not fucking right IMHO

 

I'd describe it as 'practising my putting'.

 

p1_tigerputt.jpg

Edited by Happy Face
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You should always wipe front to back to reduce the risk of urinary tract infections, especially women.

 

Was about to say the very same thing.. Remember when my daughter was born the midwife wanting to give me a lesson in wiping her on a nappy change. Too cocky for my own good I said something like "i think i know how to wipe an arse"..

 

Sure enough she had to stop me when I made to wipe back to front. Common sense really...

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You should always wipe front to back to reduce the risk of urinary tract infections, especially women.

 

Was about to say the very same thing.. Remember when my daughter was born the midwife wanting to give me a lesson in wiping her on a nappy change. Too cocky for my own good I said something like "i think i know how to wipe an arse"..

 

Sure enough she had to stop me when I made to wipe back to front. Common sense really...

 

So, a self confessed sitter told that his bottom wiping technique was inadequate by a healthcare professional. Case closed. :blink:

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You should always wipe front to back to reduce the risk of urinary tract infections, especially women.

 

Was about to say the very same thing.. Remember when my daughter was born the midwife wanting to give me a lesson in wiping her on a nappy change. Too cocky for my own good I said something like "i think i know how to wipe an arse"..

 

Sure enough she had to stop me when I made to wipe back to front. Common sense really...

 

So, a self confessed sitter told that his bottom wiping technique was inadequate by a healthcare professional. Case closed. :blink:

 

:razz::D

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12 pages later and i still dont get how you can wipe standing up.

 

These people clearly wernt brought up properly by their parents.

 

No wonder society is in the mess it is.

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12 pages later and i still dont get how you can wipe standing up.

 

These people clearly wernt brought up properly by their parents.

 

No wonder society is in the mess it is.

 

Open up your porn folder, go to the anal section and watch some shit-flicks and you'll see the lass are taking a length standing up bent over, not stat down.

 

wiping your arse in an efficient manner is very much in the same style.

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It's still a shit argument.

 

omg nobody commented on my shit-pun the first time so I'll re-iterate it. Use bold and italics for added effect!

 

Sit down and shut up, you sit down arsewipe.

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You should always wipe front to back to reduce the risk of urinary tract infections, especially women.

 

Was about to say the very same thing.. Remember when my daughter was born the midwife wanting to give me a lesson in wiping her on a nappy change. Too cocky for my own good I said something like "i think i know how to wipe an arse"..

 

Sure enough she had to stop me when I made to wipe back to front. Common sense really...

 

So, a self confessed sitter told that his bottom wiping technique was inadequate by a healthcare professional. Case closed. :nufc:

 

Nowt wrong with my bottom wiping technique man... just wasn't doing right on the bairn. You're not having that one Luke - no chance :scratchchin:

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You should always wipe front to back to reduce the risk of urinary tract infections, especially women.

 

Was about to say the very same thing.. Remember when my daughter was born the midwife wanting to give me a lesson in wiping her on a nappy change. Too cocky for my own good I said something like "i think i know how to wipe an arse"..

 

Sure enough she had to stop me when I made to wipe back to front. Common sense really...

 

So, a self confessed sitter told that his bottom wiping technique was inadequate by a healthcare professional. Case closed. :nufc:

 

Nowt wrong with my bottom wiping technique man... just wasn't doing right on the bairn. You're not having that one Luke - no chance :scratchchin:

 

Whatever, giving you bogroll is like giving Pete Doherty a thousand pounds - an accident waiting to happen.

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Would you like me to clear this one up for you?

 

Those who stand to wipe are stinky, poo-squishing, dirty boys.

 

I'm putting Cath's medical expertise ahead of yours Luke... :nufc:

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It's canny funny really though because it has simply stemmed from the fact that their parents never told them that they were no longer required to stand up to have their arses wiped. :nufc: How fucking silly do you need to be ffs? I bet Sammy still tucks his t-shirt into his kegs after he's finished wiping.

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Would you like me to clear this one up for you?

 

Those who stand to wipe are stinky, poo-squishing, dirty boys.

 

If I'd known you'd be sitting down to wipe this week I'd have never let you through the front door you scruffy bitch!

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