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Wiping your arse


Holden McGroin
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the only time i'm going to the effort of wiping standing up is if i'm at a festival or something and the toilet seat is so fowl that i'm forced to perform a hover shit

Does that count as a chicken shit?

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The toilet seat is designed so your cheeks perch on either side, forcing open the anus and allowing the shit to be ejected / slide out.

 

Sitting down to wipe involves using the tilted perch to keep your rectum parted allowing maximum access to the dirty ringpiece.

 

Stood up, you have to either semi-crouch to open your arsehole up, or use the free hand to hold open your backside, risking dirtying the free hand.

 

Standing is a filthy habit. Horrible.

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Also, when you stand, you're miles away from the bog. Huge risk of shit particles falling from your arse during the wiping process, which could land anywhere. You could end up with them on your sock, which then transfers to your carpet and your settee and your loved ones.

 

At least, when sitting, any loose particles will safely fall into the safety of the bowl, or at worst on to the edge of the seat, where they can be easily identified by the contrasting colours, and dealt with accordingly.

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I've said it before, It's Brian Blessed's Grandson. That's an audition pic for his college. He's in for the role of Zeus in their amateur production musical version of 'Jason and the Argonauts'.

 

Good luck, Shaun! :good:

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I've said it before, It's Brian Blessed's Grandson. That's an audition pic for his college. He's in for the role of Zeus in their amateur production musical version of 'Jason and the Argonauts'.

 

Good luck, Shaun! :good:

:lol:
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  • 1 year later...

I never understood how that works. How do you not soak your clothes and how do you dry off?

 

I think both sitters and standers can agree that you're a fucking weirdo.

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:lol: I suppose it depends on what you've been doing since as a child

Not soaking your clothes comes naturally with practice, you could always put them aside if its that much of a problem. Use tissues for drying up.

 

The concept of not using water is just so well......icky...:D

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have to agree with aimaad here. I finish off with a baby wipe, and rarely need one away from home.

 

mind you, I also wipe after I piss, so the pair of us are probably giant weirdos :blush:

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have to agree with aimaad here. I finish off with a baby wipe, and rarely need one away from home.

 

mind you, I also wipe after I piss, so the pair of us are probably giant weirdos :blush:

Men using baby wipes for anal cleansing is a big no no. It removes necessary oils from the skin and is thought to be responsible for severe anal itching.

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