@yourservice 67 Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Your football club is not special. Sorry. Your football club is not unique, it is not different and is no more distinctive and romantically captivating than any of the little quadrangles with floodlights littered throughout our land. Sorry. Do not get me wrong, I know you think that it is special. I get that. I understand that, to you, your club is magical and wonderful and no outsider can hope to empathise with its complex and inimitable nature. You believe that no other club exists with the same passion or emotion and your sincerity is appreciated. It is just that, well, you are wrong. Sorry. Whether blighted by tragedy or blessed by glory, whether filling a stadium with tens of thousands or surviving on a pittance and the devotion of a handful of diehards, just as you feel about your football club, so do millions of others. Everyone thinks that they have the prettiest wife at home, as Arsène Wenger said. Everyone thinks that they have the love supreme. But if everybody is special, then nobody is. So, Liverpool: not special. Manchester United: not special. Luton Town: not special. West Ham United: not special. Newcastle United: not special. Sorry. Kevin Keegan talked a grand game in his opening address at St James’ Park. He divided the country into us and them: the good guys being the hard-toiling, blue-collar communities of the North East – bless them, for they are the salt of the earth – while beyond lie the London-based media and theatre-loving types who are against him, sneering and mocking and never knowing what makes his football club so rare. And at first his words seemed clever. Related Links Buzz quick to disappear in dull draw How smart instantly to tap into the shared humanity of the region, the vain belief that one little square of land is in some way superior to another patch 50 miles away, that its people have different and worthier values and aspirations. But on closer inspection, there is only one conclusion. Keegan had better have more than a chorus of Blaydon Races in his locker or it will be a long road ahead. A few years ago, Derren Brown, the psychological illusionist, performed a trick in which he interviewed a group of strangers individually for a short period, to build up a distinctive mental profile. He then went away and wrote up these singular reports, handing them at random to the group. There were no names on the envelopes, but the instruction was to read what was inside and if a person believed that he had received his profile he should swap with a neighbour. To a man, everybody attempted to change. And here is the trick. Each report was the same. There were no individual profiles, just one duplicated study. Brown played on human vanity, on our belief that we are special and different, to prove that we are basically the same. For instance, he wrote that the person in question was such a perfectionist that he sometimes struggled to achieve his aims. We would all like to believe that. We would all prefer to think that it is our quest for perfection that leads to failure, not ineptitude or inadequacy. And that is how it is at Newcastle. They love the No 9 shirt on Tyneside and this is beguiling, but every club has its quirks, its iconic figures, memories and meanings that set it apart. In truth, the Toon is kidding itself. Equating failure to win a serious trophy since 1969 with a special affinity with cavalier football is just as flawed as the conviction that the best team lost the title in 1995-96, when Newcastle blew a 12-point lead. In fact, Manchester United, the eventual champions, beat them home and away that season, with an aggregate score of 3-0. Southampton defeated Newcastle, too, as did Chelsea, West Ham, Arsenal, Liverpool and Blackburn Rovers. Indeed, in his previous time as Newcastle manager, when the team was in the top division and strong enough to win a trophy, Keegan lost domestic cup-ties against Wimbledon, Luton, Manchester City, Everton, Arsenal, Chelsea and Middlesbrough. There were high times and exciting times, yes, but not every moment was perfect. Far from it. Keegan got a special welcome on Saturday, too, but when the match began, it was not enough to inspire a win over Bolton Wanderers. Newcastle regards itself as a club apart because, in almost 40 years, what else could define it but the intangible? Unfortunately, the Premier League is not school sports day. Everyone is not a winner and nobody is special, despite what King Kev may tell the faithful. And G’day to you too, mate I would like to thank the readers who expressed concern for my mental health after I failed to be bowled over by the appointment of Kevin Keegan at Newcastle United. Most particularly, David Moodie, of Wikiki, Western Australia – although he may mean Waikiki, which is a suburb of Perth – who wrote: “Whatever your problem is, mate, get over it and try to look for a few positives in life. What a sad guy.” Mr Moodie can rest assured that each morning I rise with a song in my heart to offer a prayer of gratitude for all the many positives in my existence, the first of which is that I do not live in Wikiki, Western Australia. I did have a rough night on Friday, though. I dreamt I was in Perth and could not find the return ticket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Patrokles Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 He's a cock and quite how he won awards is very much beyond me. If I had an infant son, they could do better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19751 Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 martin samuel? ugly, fat, silly beard? yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 I think the KK theatre quote has hit 10 on the richter scale down there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 He looks like a fatter, uglier, more bent version of Gary Bushell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4183 Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 (edited) My god this guy? seriously? am i missing something? Is there some reason this man gets his opinion on sport in a 'paper when normal football fans don't? Edited January 21, 2008 by Andrew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19751 Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 My god this guy? seriously? am i missing something? Is there some reason this man gets his opinion on sport in a 'paper when normal football fans don't? he ate all the competition Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeazesMag 0 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 basically he's just a stupid fat cunt with nothing else to do but show his envy at a club twice as big as his own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeazesMag 0 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 I think the KK theatre quote has hit 10 on the richter scale down there it certainly has. Just wait until we go down there and beat them, "tactical naivety" and all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Am I missing something here? It was Kevin Keegan's opinion that Newcastle was different as a club-it wasn't the Leazes end who took the press conference and demanded that that was the case. So basically Kevin Keegan (rightly or wrongly) thinks we're special, rather than us insisting we're special. Exactly what the fuck is the fat beardy cunts problem with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4183 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 basically he's just a stupid fat cunt with nothing else to do but show his envy at a club twice as big as his own. I suspected as much, considering the vast numbers or retired managers and players out there, you'd think most big papers would have sports correspondants with experience of the game aside from, of course, eating all the pies at half time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Fucking fat cry-baby! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted January 22, 2008 Author Share Posted January 22, 2008 My god this guy? seriously? am i missing something? Is there some reason this man gets his opinion on sport in a 'paper when normal football fans don't? Whats the picture of on that award?looks like Barba poppa in bondage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 My god this guy? seriously? am i missing something? Is there some reason this man gets his opinion on sport in a 'paper when normal football fans don't? Whats the picture of on that award?looks like Barba poppa in bondage Think it's a lamb kebab. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big TRon 0 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 We aren't special...yet it warrants an award winning national sports journalist devoting his main column for the third time in a week to tell us that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 We aren't special...yet it warrants an award winning national sports journalist devoting his main column for the third time in a week to tell us that. Precisely. Obsession possibly rooted in an inferiority complex, but that's hardly our fucking fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 My god this guy? seriously? am i missing something? Is there some reason this man gets his opinion on sport in a 'paper when normal football fans don't? Whats the picture of on that award?looks like Barba poppa in bondage Think it's a lamb kebab. That trophy must now be Britain's least used fruit bowl an all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13820 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 What a sad bastard he is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12452 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Kevin Keegan talked a grand game in his opening address at St James’ Park. He divided the country into us and them Funnily enough that's what southern journos have been doing for the past 3 months . while beyond lie the London-based media and theatre-loving types who are against him Still stinging there fat boy? sneering and mocking Seems a very apt description of what he does after this car crash of an article. They've been trying to hit a nerve with us for years with trash like this and Keegan seems to have hit their rawest nerve in his first press conference back LEGEND! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted January 22, 2008 Author Share Posted January 22, 2008 Unfinished business alright, this is just the start bearded weeble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13820 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Im liking it tbh. But its the fact the he accepts the division in writing it. The way it's written implies the division has allways been there but King Kev was only highlighting it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 My god this guy? seriously? am i missing something? Is there some reason this man gets his opinion on sport in a 'paper when normal football fans don't? Whats the picture of on that award?looks like Barba poppa in bondage Think it's a lamb kebab. That trophy must now be Britain's least used fruit bowl an all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 13991 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 So does the estate of Bill Hicks get a share of the no doubt huge amount he gets paid for "writing" this stuff? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26192 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 It's true in what he says, we're not special. However it's the patronising 'all the poor deluded Newcastle think they're special' shite that I have a problem with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 He's a cock and quite how he won awards is very much beyond me. If I had an infant son, they could do better. Basically, the journo's down south pass these awards round amongst themselves every year with the 'winner' having done nothing necessarily to deserve it. They have a piss up and at the end of the night it is decided 'who shall get it this year?'. There's no great decision making into it at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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