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  • 3 months later...

 

Been funny recently.

 

"Hei the Queen’s ganna disserlve Parlimint but hauze she ganna dee tha man pet? Leik it's not made oota sugah aw owt. Bonkaz!"

 

"Ah've been studyin Yerga so Ah'm ganna dee the occasional deep tweet leek Yerker Erner dees. Stan by a one's comin up noo."

 

"Let yor serls gan chasin rainbers thru the valleys uv yor innah consciousness; be at one wi the skei an embrace feelin mint."

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Been practicing free kicks using a picture of Gary Naysmith as a target. 100% accuracy so far.

 

Is hopefully looking forward to some promotion celebrations tonight.

 

I wouldnt say im drunk but im currently sitting in mcdonalds with no trousers on.

 

Haha Butt is shouting at trees again

 

Yehaa Butt is sleeping and ive pissed in his sock draw.

 

Woke up in Butt's kitchen covered in fuckin noodles. WTF!

 

http://twitter.com/JBJoeyBarton

 

Pretty funny stuff...

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  • 2 weeks later...

@Eyjafjallajokul

 

Genius !!!!

 

This is why I hate the f---ing airlines! They're gonna make me buy TWO seats because my ash is so fat!

 

A petition to make me stop spewing trash all over Europe? The Spice Girls did the same thing for years and nobody petitioned them to stop!

 

ATTENTION MEDIA: When referring to my activity, I'd appreciate it if you would cease use of the term "heavy flow!"

 

You think I'm bad. Have you seen Björk when she's pissed?

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too many of these things.

 

Must say that now I am banned from NO I spend more time at the pub. Much better ;)

 

 

Glad you are banned, I have seen what you are like when you come in from the pub :razz:

 

 

you haven't.

 

And you should get out more anyway you boring idiot.

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too many of these things.

 

Must say that now I am banned from NO I spend more time at the pub. Much better ;)

 

 

Glad you are banned, I have seen what you are like when you come in from the pub :razz:

 

 

you haven't.

 

And you should get out more anyway you boring idiot.

 

Thing is Leazes, most people don't come posting on here after they've been to the pub and making themselves look utterly ridiculous.

 

you old lush

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# 99% sure there's a squirrel in my room. 7:25 AM Apr 19th via web

 

# False alarm its a sock. I really need to stop drinking in the morning. 7:27 AM Apr 19th via web

 

# Just woke up in the kitchen wearing nothing but peanut butter and my lucky cape. Yesterdays celebrations were fucking amazing. 4:01 AM Apr 25th via web

 

# Why is there a cat in my fridge??? 4:03 AM Apr 25th via web

 

 

:razz:

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http://twitter.com/TheBig_Sam

 

I love jazz. It's so soothing & sophisticated. You'll often catch Big Sam at a jazz saloon, sipping port & bloody loving the jazz on offer.

 

Last night’s role-playing sex was superb. I was He-Man – the Most Powerful Man In The Universe - while the wife was my arch-enemy, Skeletor

 

I told her she better protect "Snake Moutain" because I was intent on smashing my way in to get what I want. It was exhilarating.

 

My flacid penis was Cringer - becoming the mighty Battle Cat when fully erect. That kitty can roar, let me tell you.

 

The missus even introduced a little sex toy at one point. I named it 'Orko'.

 

Needless to say, He-Man used his "fabulous secret powers" & unleashed them all over Skeletor. He then left Snake Mountain by the back door.

 

:o:unsure::huh:

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