Teachers you thought were cunts

[Dr Gloom 19770]

Mrs Maddison

 

bitch gave me a predicted grade of a U in Psychology - totally fucked up my UCAS form. no matter how crap she thought I was, surely she should have predicted me the lowest pass going? i think she wanted me to quit the class so i wouldn't pull her average grade down. ended up getting a C. Silly cow wouldn't even congratulate me when we went into school to collect the results. she was so bitter, was like she wanted me to fail.

[Brock Manson 0]

My personal tutor at university, Professor John Ashworth.

 

In the first year we had to meet them and have a brief session to get to know eachother (oo-er not like that).

 

Talked about how the course was going and the extra-curricular stuff I was doing, and then he asked how the social side was. I'd been dumped by the ex 3 days before the meeting, so wasn't in the best of places. When I relayed this information, his response was a mumbled "Dumped as in what sense of the word?" Prick.

 

When I had failed one of the core modules (it was a 10 credit american history module; we had no seminars and no help, and I'd never written a history essay before so I flunked it), I had to see him. Looking at my results (which were all fine apart from that one) he says "You did badly in that one, didn't you?"

 

I told him that he was a terrible personal tutor and that I'd be making a complaint and requesting a switch. Don't know what happened about the complaint, but I got a better tutor out of it all.

 

I don't really understand what you're complaining about there- aren't personal tutors supposed to keep an eye out for bad marks?

 

I went to him because I had a bad mark. The cunt didn't help by stating the obvious, nor did he offer any useful advice.

 

The department would send emails telling us all to book a mandatory appointment with a tutor. Like clockwork there'd be a blanket email coming from him telling us that he was busy and only wanted us to book if we had 'real' conerns.

I might be missing something but that sounds ideal to me.

 

It didn't bother me as I thought he was a cock so wouldn't have to spend 15 minutes pussy-footing around. It's the fact that he couldn't be arsed when in a position of responsibility; one that a lot of students find to be incredibly important. I just think he signed on to be a personal tutor because it makes him look good.

[Guest alex]

My personal tutor at university, Professor John Ashworth.

 

In the first year we had to meet them and have a brief session to get to know eachother (oo-er not like that).

 

Talked about how the course was going and the extra-curricular stuff I was doing, and then he asked how the social side was. I'd been dumped by the ex 3 days before the meeting, so wasn't in the best of places. When I relayed this information, his response was a mumbled "Dumped as in what sense of the word?" Prick.

 

When I had failed one of the core modules (it was a 10 credit american history module; we had no seminars and no help, and I'd never written a history essay before so I flunked it), I had to see him. Looking at my results (which were all fine apart from that one) he says "You did badly in that one, didn't you?"

 

I told him that he was a terrible personal tutor and that I'd be making a complaint and requesting a switch. Don't know what happened about the complaint, but I got a better tutor out of it all.

 

I don't really understand what you're complaining about there- aren't personal tutors supposed to keep an eye out for bad marks?

 

I went to him because I had a bad mark. The cunt didn't help by stating the obvious, nor did he offer any useful advice.

 

The department would send emails telling us all to book a mandatory appointment with a tutor. Like clockwork there'd be a blanket email coming from him telling us that he was busy and only wanted us to book if we had 'real' conerns.

I might be missing something but that sounds ideal to me.

 

It didn't bother me as I thought he was a cock so wouldn't have to spend 15 minutes pussy-footing around. It's the fact that he couldn't be arsed when in a position of responsibility; one that a lot of students find to be incredibly important. I just think he signed on to be a personal tutor because it makes him look good.

I still don't get it tbh. Fair enough you may not have liked him on a personal level but so fuck? Also, he said people could meet him if they had a genuine issue. Any student who wants to meet their personal tutor for the sake of it sounds like a fanny to me. I don't know what he was supposed to do about a bad mark after you'd received it either. It's too late then.

[DanTheMan 0]

My personal tutor at university, Professor John Ashworth.

 

In the first year we had to meet them and have a brief session to get to know eachother (oo-er not like that).

 

Talked about how the course was going and the extra-curricular stuff I was doing, and then he asked how the social side was. I'd been dumped by the ex 3 days before the meeting, so wasn't in the best of places. When I relayed this information, his response was a mumbled "Dumped as in what sense of the word?" Prick.

 

When I had failed one of the core modules (it was a 10 credit american history module; we had no seminars and no help, and I'd never written a history essay before so I flunked it), I had to see him. Looking at my results (which were all fine apart from that one) he says "You did badly in that one, didn't you?"

 

I told him that he was a terrible personal tutor and that I'd be making a complaint and requesting a switch. Don't know what happened about the complaint, but I got a better tutor out of it all.

 

I don't really understand what you're complaining about there- aren't personal tutors supposed to keep an eye out for bad marks?

 

I went to him because I had a bad mark. The cunt didn't help by stating the obvious, nor did he offer any useful advice.

 

The department would send emails telling us all to book a mandatory appointment with a tutor. Like clockwork there'd be a blanket email coming from him telling us that he was busy and only wanted us to book if we had 'real' conerns.

I might be missing something but that sounds ideal to me.

 

It didn't bother me as I thought he was a cock so wouldn't have to spend 15 minutes pussy-footing around. It's the fact that he couldn't be arsed when in a position of responsibility; one that a lot of students find to be incredibly important. I just think he signed on to be a personal tutor because it makes him look good.

I still don't get it tbh. Fair enough you may not have liked him on a personal level but so fuck? Also, he said people could meet him if they had a genuine issue. Any student who wants to meet their personal tutor for the sake of it sounds like a fanny to me. I don't know what he was supposed to do about a bad mark after you'd received it either. It's too late then.

 

Aye I do agree- I don't think personal tutors are really needed at uni unless it was for serious issues. Too much hand-holding at uni IMO.

[Ayatollah Hermione 12755]

There was a teacher at our school who didn't even know the name of the school. Funnily enough, I can't remember her name.

[Duke123 0]

He did a lot more than kiss!

[Monkeys Fist 38663]

[adios 717]

  I've been sitting here trying to figure out what they're selling.

[Monkeys Fist 38663]

Aghan kush? 

[Ayatollah Hermione 12755]

On 22/07/2008 at 20:33, Jay Jay Sea said:

Music teacher at Longbenton High (circa 1988 - 1993) who went by the name of ERIK GASSNER. Fucking German cunt. Proper speccy 19stone 10lbs 8oz of fat nazi cock-eyed German aggression and hatred. If you were a latent homosexual then you were never picked on. Being straight, this fat cunt would stand over the top of you and expect you to be able to play Stauss or whatever after the first attempt and if you hit one wrong note he'd fucking whack your fingers with a solid wooden ruler. What a fucking bully boy nazi cunt. Anyway he's dead now. Blew his own head clean off when exposed as a right-wing extremist. I was scared shitless of him. Canny kisser thought.

 

 

[adios 717]

1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Aghan kush? 

Not Aghan.

[TheGingerQuiff 2412]

Mr Raw. Wanker. Pronounced his R's like Jonathan Ross. I was clean through on goal for the school team and got wiped from behind in the most ridiculously blatant professional foul ever, I was at full pelt and the ball so far front of us so that any suggestion that it was a fair challenge was inconceivable. Could have broke my leg. The ref (the other team's teacher) waves no foul. I pick myself up and start asking wtf? The speech impedimented cunt subs me off and threatens to suspend me after the game unless I apologise. I fucked the school team off after that

Edited May 3, 2018 by TheGingerQuiff

[Alex 30332]

Mr Raw Wanker can’t have been his teal name 

[TheGingerQuiff 2412]

he pronounces them as Ws not as Ts

[The Fish 8976]

There was a teacher in middle school who if you were naughty, or cheeky or whatever, would squeeze just above your knee to cause you discomfort without causing a bruise or owt. 100% going to end up on a list imo. There was another who, when you were talking in class, would slam a ruler down on your desk and if you didn't shift your hands in time, well that was your fault.

A poison dwarf in high school who dyed his hair so black it had a purplish hue. Proper little man syndrome so would lose his shit whenever he thought someone was taking the mick. Examples would include being both taller than him and near to him at the same time. That would really piss him off. 

Mr Innard was a bellend, a maths teacher who just seemed to hate kids. He'd bully kids who got stuff wrong, would mock kids who got stuff right, and generally ensure everybody loathed his classes. His nickname was "Pieman" because, as the undoubtedly made up story went, he was supposed to be on a diet and was caught in the stock cupboard secretly eating a pie. Luckily I only ever had to put up with him when he was covering top set, but even on those occasions he made such an impression that I still fucking hate him to this day. 

The RE teacher, Ms Waldi. One of those breathy voiced women who insist you call her Mzzz. She'd tell these anecdotes about her and her boyfriend, which went nowhere and were probably made up as some kind of virtue signalling bullshit allegory. "I was walking with my boyfriend, who's black, and some rough children started throwing snowballs, so I said 'stop throwing snowballs, you're hurting my kidneys' and they stopped because they realised what they were doing had consequences". First lesson with her she declared we'd be learning about all the religions, Christianity, then waved her hand at the class and Islam, then pointed at Altan, the only non-white kid in the class. When Altan told her he wasn't muslim she dismissed him with a "You can understand why I assumed"... My Dad was a governor at the school for a bit and he fucking hated her as well.

Edited May 3, 2018 by The Fish

[Alex 30332]

1 hour ago, TheGingerQuiff said:

he pronounces them as Ws not as Ts

Duck you

[Gemmill 34316]

OMG DAVE WAS IN THE TOP SET FOR MATHS. 

[Monkeys Fist 38663]

Just now, Gemmill said:

OMG DAVE WAS IN THE TOP SET FOR MATHS. 

Aye, he snuck that one in. 

[Ayatollah Hermione 12755]

Finally, the love of fucking stats makes some sense. 

[PaddockLad 14573]

Mr Turpie, head teacher of English. If you can imagine someone physically akin to Barry Humphries grotesque character Sir Les Patterson but with a classical education from Edinburgh Uni in the 50s, an author of furious letters to the local paper and a keen interest in schoolgirls. He lived  with a very recent ex pupil with whom he had a child 

 

His colleague in the music department Mr Melrose;  called the my sisters friend, the only black girl in a small market town high school in rural south east Scotland, a "fuckin junglebunny". He was eventually sacked for a catalogue of misdemeanours including physical assault. I drunkenly fell into a cab one night in the early nineties on a trip home and this fucker was driving it. "Ah you're Rob Paterson, how's your sister?"  Didn't think too much about it until he committed suicide a little while later, after being convicted of sexually abusing his daughters from a young age. 

 

Happy days. 

[Monkeys Fist 38663]

Aye, aye, but were you in the top set for maths????

[Ayatollah Hermione 12755]

36 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:

Mr Turpie, head teacher of English. If you can imagine someone physically akin to Barry Humphries grotesque character Sir Les Patterson but with a classical education from Edinburgh Uni in the 50s, an author of furious letters to the local paper and a keen interest in schoolgirls. He lived  with a very recent ex pupil with whom he had a child 

 

His colleague in the music department Mr Melrose;  called the my sisters friend, the only black girl in a small market town high school in rural south east Scotland, a "fuckin junglebunny". He was eventually sacked for a catalogue of misdemeanours including physical assault. I drunkenly fell into a cab one night in the early nineties on a trip home and this fucker was driving it. "Ah you're Rob Paterson, how's your sister?"  Didn't think too much about it until he committed suicide a little while later, after being convicted of sexually abusing his daughters from a young age. 

 

Happy days. 

 

Reminds me of a Food Tech teacher who referred to anything exotic as coming from "Booga Booga Land"  

[adios 717]

42 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:

Mr Turpie, head teacher of English. If you can imagine someone physically akin to Barry Humphries grotesque character Sir Les Patterson but with a classical education from Edinburgh Uni in the 50s, an author of furious letters to the local paper and a keen interest in schoolgirls. He lived  with a very recent ex pupil with whom he had a child 

 

His colleague in the music department Mr Melrose;  called the my sisters friend, the only black girl in a small market town high school in rural south east Scotland, a "fuckin junglebunny". He was eventually sacked for a catalogue of misdemeanours including physical assault. I drunkenly fell into a cab one night in the early nineties on a trip home and this fucker was driving it. "Ah you're Rob Paterson, how's your sister?"  Didn't think too much about it until he committed suicide a little while later, after being convicted of sexually abusing his daughters from a young age. 

 

Happy days. 

Jesus titty fucking Christ, that's grim.   

[The Fish 8976]

I was in top set for everything, naturally. Such wasted potential  

[Gemmill 34316]

59 minutes ago, The Fish said:

I was in top set for everything, naturally. Such wasted potential  

 

You went to school in Blyth, I'd imagine the bottom set was hotly contested.