Fop 1 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I don't think anyone is that offended by it. You did whinge like a fanny and cry racist when people referred to your nationality though. Hence the irony. Not when they 'refer' to it ... I do draw attention to blatant racial insults though. It doesn't really matter though as I would never want to be classified as a Brit. See he even admits he's racist. The reason being ... I'm not! Wheyhee! :icon_lol: I'm afraid you are. The first step to getting past it, is admitting it to yourself. I'm not British so why would I?. When you say "I'm afraid you are" ... it sounds like you realize being a brit is a bad thing. Yet more racism. Your prejudice know no bounds. None whatsoever! Like I said admitting your clear and repeated racist prejudice to yourself is the first step to getting rid of it. Maybe just hate the English instead of the British? Ween yourself off it that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torres 0 Posted July 31, 2008 Author Share Posted July 31, 2008 I don't think anyone is that offended by it. You did whinge like a fanny and cry racist when people referred to your nationality though. Hence the irony. Not when they 'refer' to it ... I do draw attention to blatant racial insults though. It doesn't really matter though as I would never want to be classified as a Brit. See he even admits he's racist. The reason being ... I'm not! Wheyhee! :icon_lol: I'm afraid you are. The first step to getting past it, is admitting it to yourself. I'm not British so why would I?. When you say "I'm afraid you are" ... it sounds like you realize being a brit is a bad thing. Yet more racism. Your prejudice know no bounds. None whatsoever! Like I said admitting your clear and repeated racist prejudice to yourself is the first step to getting rid of it. Maybe just hate the English instead of the British? Ween yourself off it that way. Nah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I don't think anyone is that offended by it. You did whinge like a fanny and cry racist when people referred to your nationality though. Hence the irony. Not when they 'refer' to it ... I do draw attention to blatant racial insults though. It doesn't really matter though as I would never want to be classified as a Brit. See he even admits he's racist. The reason being ... I'm not! Wheyhee! :icon_lol: I'm afraid you are. The first step to getting past it, is admitting it to yourself. I'm not British so why would I?. When you say "I'm afraid you are" ... it sounds like you realize being a brit is a bad thing. Yet more racism. Your prejudice know no bounds. None whatsoever! Like I said admitting your clear and repeated racist prejudice to yourself is the first step to getting rid of it. Maybe just hate the English instead of the British? Ween yourself off it that way. Nah! So you'll just go on with your racist hating of the British. Ah well I'm sure the British population will get over it somehow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8973 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 So if we were to go onto a Liverpool forum and post some tired cliche about bin-dipping, dole-wallowing, corpse looting, chav... they'd all laugh heartily, slap us on the back for our new and original wit, would they? Would they shite, they'd have a fit, then a day of remembrance, a week of mourning, a decade of embittered pleas for justice, then a an annual week of black armband toting self pity. and then they'd fuck their mum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glen 0 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I thought it was funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13830 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 A scouser walks into a bar... He's an alcoholic it's tearing his family apart... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5899 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Come on boys, we slag RTG off all the time for not being able to take a joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Come on boys, we slag RTG off all the time for not being able to take a joke But not a clearly racist joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torres 0 Posted July 31, 2008 Author Share Posted July 31, 2008 Come on boys, we slag RTG off all the time for not being able to take a joke That's the spirit. Finally somebody with a sense of humor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Come on boys, we slag RTG off all the time for not being able to take a joke A joke should be funny though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13830 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Now these are fucking terrible (and ironically also refer to Barton) Liverpools newest big-name signing, a Bosnian international, has just scored on his debut for the club and immediately after the match phones his Mum:Bosnian-Scouser: Hello Mum. Mum: Hello son, how was your debut? B-S: Well it went brilliantly. I scored in front of the Kop and we only lost 3-1. Mum: That's wonderful. But I'm afraid that things here at home aren't so good. B-S: Why, what's happened? Mum: Well, this morning our car was set ablaze by a masked mob. They then broke into our house with baseball bats and battered your brother. They shot your father in the kneecaps, so he can't walk anymore, and then raped your sister before moving on to the dog. B-S: That's terrible.... Mum: I know. Why couldn't you have left us in Bosnia instead of bringing us to Liverpool with you? If you see a Scouser on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him? It might be your bike. What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut? One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut. What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi? A burglar. What do you call a Scouse woman in a white shell-suit? The bride. What do you call a Scouser in a suit? The accused. Man walks into a shop in Liverpool: Man: Can I have a pair of tights for my wife? Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you? Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool? Because if it walked it would be mugged. What do you say to a Scouser with a job? Big Mac please. Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty scousers showed up. Never having seen anyone from Liverpool at heaven's door, Saint Peter said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the ten most virtuous from the group. A few minutes later, Saint Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone." "What? All of the Scousers are gone?" asked God. "No" replied Saint Peter "The Pearly Gates!" What's long, scouse, and goes around corners? The Dole queue. What do you get if you come across a scouser buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand. One day a scouser dies so before he goes to heaven he arrives at the gates of St Peters. "Age?" Peter asks. "24" the little scouser replied. "Where did you live?" "Well, um, Liverpool" "Were you blue or were you red" asked St. Peter. "Red till I died" replied the scouser. "Sorry no scousers allowed into heaven they are all robbing little twats!" "But but I have done good things." "Like what?" "Well, last week I gave a tenner to the homeless the week before that I gave a tenner to oxfam and the day I died I gave a tenner to the heart foundation!" "Well I will see what I can do I will go and explain the situation to God." After half an hour out comes St. Peter followed by god who is wearing a united shirt. "Right I heard what you have done with all the good causes what with giving away thirty quid to charity and I have come up with a solution" God said. "What is it?" asked the scouser. "Well, here is your thirty quid now piss off!" Why wasn't Jesus born in Merseyside? Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. Q: What is the ideal weight of a Scouser? A: About three pounds, including the urn. Q. What is the difference between a battery and an Scouser? A. A battery has a positive side. Q - Why are Scousers like laxatives? A - Because they irritate the shit out of you. Q. How many Scousers does it take to pave a driveway? A. Depends how thin you slice them. At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the queer fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers. At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?" "I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job." Q. How do you save a scouser from drowning? A. Take your foot of his head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torres 0 Posted July 31, 2008 Author Share Posted July 31, 2008 Heard most of them before, but they're dead funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Why would Torres give a shit though as he's not even from the region? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torres 0 Posted July 31, 2008 Author Share Posted July 31, 2008 1) A scouse girl goes to the local council to claim benefit. "How many children do you have?" asked the benefit officer. "I have ten kids." replied the scouse woman. "Ten?" said the benefit officer, "That's a lot! What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne." replied the scouse girl. "Ummm, do you not get confused with them all having the same name?" asked the benefit officer. "Nahhh," replied the scouser, "it's great because if they are out in the street playing I only have to say 'Wayne' once and they all come in!" "What if you want to speak to one of them individually?" asked the benefit officer. "Oh that's easy," replied the scouse girl, "I just use their last names!" 2) Did you hear that this year had the coldest day in Liverpool since records began? All the scousers kept their hands in their own pockets! 3) What's the difference between a scouser funeral and a scouser wedding? One less drunk! 4) What do you say to a scouser in a uniform? "Big Mac and fries please!" 5) Did you know that Liverpool won the Greenest City award this year. They recycle more car stereos than anyone else in the world and the churches all have lead free roofs! 6) What do you call a scouser with a job? A liar! 7) A young mother was pushing her baby along the street in Manchester when suddenly a huge rottweiler dog lunged towards the pram, gnashing it's teeth. The young woman thought for a moment that the dog would kill them when suddenly a man rushed over, wrestled with the rottweiler and broke it's neck with his bare hands. Another man rushed to the scene and said, "I am a reporter and I saw everything that happened. Wait until I put the headline in my paper. It will read 'Manchester United fan saves baby from savage rottweiler!" "No you can't write that!" replied the man. "But why not?" said the reporter. "Because I am not a Manchester United fan, that's why!" replied the man. "Oh, okay then," said the reporter, "I will write Manchester City supporter saves mother and baby from savage rottweiler!" "You can't write that either" said the man. "Why not?" asked the reporter. "Because I am a Liverpool fan!" replied the man. "Oh I see," said the reporter, "How about this then, 'Scouse bastard kills family pet!" 8) One night in a local Liverpool pub, a huge scouser was sitting at the bar slowly getting pissed. He was 6 feet 8 inches tall and weighed at least 400 pounds. A little later a short, skinny, obviously gay man walks in and sits next to the huge guy. After having a few drinks the gay man sidled over to the huge scouser and whispered in his ear, "Do you want a blow job?" At this, the giant Merseysider jumped off his chair, punched the guy in the face breaking his nose, grabbed him by the feet and threw him out into the car park where he finished him off with bone crunching kicks to the head. He then left the faggot laying on the floor and went back into the bar. Amazed, the bartender brought the huge scouser a beer and said, "I have never seen you like that before. You are normally such a gentle man. Just what did he say to you anyway?" "I'm not sure," replied the scouser, "It was something about a job!" 9) One day two psychiatrists were walking along a river in Liverpool when they noticed a scouser floating along in a boat singing, "Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream......." They instantly decided that he was crazy so they grabbed him, took him into hospital and removed 1/4 of his brain. A few days later they again saw the scouser in his boat singing "Row, Row, Row your boat........" Again they grabbed him, took him to hospital and removed another quarter of his brain. A few days later they again saw the scouser in his boat singing "Row, Row, Row your boat........" Again they grabbed him, took him to hospital and removed another quarter of his brain. A few days later they again saw the scouser in his boat singing "Row, Row, Row your boat........" This time they took him away and decided that the best thing would be to remove all of the rest of his brain. A few days later they again saw the scouser in his boat singing "Ferry, on the Mersey.........." 10) Why do little scouse girls put fish in their knickers? So that they can smell like big scouse girls! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13830 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Why would Torres give a shit though as he's not even from the region? Reckons he was born in Liverpool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Why would Torres give a shit though as he's not even from the region? Reckons he was born in Liverpool. Yet doesn't think he's British? What a cock muncher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13830 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Why would Torres give a shit though as he's not even from the region? Reckons he was born in Liverpool. Yet doesn't think he's British? What a cock muncher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torres 0 Posted July 31, 2008 Author Share Posted July 31, 2008 Why would Torres give a shit though as he's not even from the region? Yet another humorless gimp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torres 0 Posted July 31, 2008 Author Share Posted July 31, 2008 Some really sour cunts on here ... no humor at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Why would Torres give a shit though as he's not even from the region? Reckons he was born in Liverpool. Yet doesn't think he's British? What a cock muncher. Well he hates the British, so he's not going to include himself in that (although whether he hates scousers is a further avenue to explore ). I think it was Liverpool, PA, USA. He may even be on here somewhere: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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