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Commentator dream team


Holden McGroin
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I find Waddler's use of "pelanty" to be strangely nostalgic as I think that's what we used to call them when I was a (very young) kid :D

 

However I can't forgive his posh affectations that do make him sound like a twat - eg the way he says "close" as in close him down etc.

Edited by NJS
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Remember pre-Sky etc.? When there was very little football on telly bar England games etc.? 'Greavsie' was on ITV on in the studio any time there was a game on. World Cups, European Championships, England qualifiers, FA Cup Finals, you name it. People thought he was funny as well.

 

 

fuck me. that takes me back. nostalgia-tastic

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Brian Moore is hopefully in hell for his commentary on the leagu cup quarter final against Arsenal in 95.

 

Was that the game where Lee Dixon kicked the shit out of Ginola and Gerald fucking Ashby (hopefully stoking the fires with Moore) gave Ginola no protection at all?

 

IIRC the minute Ginola decided enough was enough and retaliated, he was sent off.

 

 

Yeah - I was at the game but made the mistake of watching a tape of it - I couldn't believe the commentary. The so called ref was Gerald Ashby and he is also dead - call me a bastard but my reaction to the that particular news was "good".

I was at that game too. To this day, every time I see Dixon I want to knock his fucking teeth out. CUNT!

 

Never heard the commentary obviously but so many of them get on my tits anyway. Martin Tyler always uses bollocks like "a goal of prestigious proportions." which he thinks makes him sound like the Shakespear of commentators instead of a knob that he really is. For me, Barry Davies was the best commentator on football, knew when words weren't important, i.e, didn't babble shite about nothing in particular just for the sake of it, theres a goal that Supermac scores at Bolton where Davies describes it as "typical, typical Newcastle goal" which just sounds great. Agree with others about Ian Darke. I wish they'd get rid of the co-commentator as well, they end up agreeing with each other and egging each other on and unbelievably, some people take their word as gospel. :D

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And the worst team of all time:

 

TV gantry:

[Commentator]: Jacqui Oatley

[Colour]: Craig Burley

 

In the Studio:

[Presenter]: John Barnes

[Pundit #1]: Kenny Dalglish

[Pundit #2]: The really hideously annoying black man that nods vigorously and who's name refuses to come to me now!!

 

Anybody who's ever heard Tommy Smyth's appalling commentary would put him as the first name on the worst of all time list. He imparts no knowledge, speaks exclusively in annoying cliches, is a Man Utd obsessive, looks really ugly - like a testicle with teeth and glasses - and has the most irritating high pitched nasal voice I've ever heard. Even the Irish are ashamed of him. He ruins any build up or match and I'd honestly prefer to listen to a random pissed up gadgee from the pub commentating than him.

 

He's like Andy Townsend, turned into a horrible high pitched leprechaun, and endowed with the mystical power of talking constant drivel without the need to breathe. He makes Donkey from Shrek seem like tolerable company and has very similar teeth. Thank God ESPN lost CL coverage, as he's clung on with them for years, stupid Americano pigdogs.

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It's not television, but one of the worst commentators ever was metro radios charles harrison. He had a plummy accent, never got that exited when we scored and for the listener at home, desperately trying to work out what was happening at our game he was the original terry fuckwit. He was literally senseless.

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It's not television, but one of the worst commentators ever was metro radios charles harrison. He had a plummy accent, never got that exited when we scored and for the listener at home, desperately trying to work out what was happening at our game he was the original terry fuckwit. He was literally senseless.

 

 

:D

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Guest Stevie
It's not television, but one of the worst commentators ever was metro radios charles harrison. He had a plummy accent, never got that exited when we scored and for the listener at home, desperately trying to work out what was happening at our game he was the original terry fuckwit. He was literally senseless.

He always got more animated when he was covering Sunderland.

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I think there was a story put out that he supported some non-North East team to try and dampen rumours he was a Mackem but I don't think many Newcastle fans bought it at the time.

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Anybody who's ever heard Tommy Smyth's appalling commentary would put him as the first name on the worst of all time list. He imparts no knowledge, speaks exclusively in annoying cliches, is a Man Utd obsessive, looks really ugly - like a testicle with teeth and glasses - and has the most irritating high pitched nasal voice I've ever heard. Even the Irish are ashamed of him. He ruins any build up or match and I'd honestly prefer to listen to a random pissed up gadgee from the pub commentating than him.

 

He's like Andy Townsend, turned into a horrible high pitched leprechaun, and endowed with the mystical power of talking constant drivel without the need to breathe. He makes Donkey from Shrek seem like tolerable company and has very similar teeth. Thank God ESPN lost CL coverage, as he's clung on with them for years, stupid Americano pigdogs.

:D

 

You don't like the guy then?

 

Andy Townsend= Clueless C*nt

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Guest Stevie
I think there was a story put out that he supported some non-North East team to try and dampen rumours he was a Mackem but I don't think many Newcastle fans bought it at the time.

Barnsley.

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It's not television, but one of the worst commentators ever was metro radios charles harrison. He had a plummy accent, never got that exited when we scored and for the listener at home, desperately trying to work out what was happening at our game he was the original terry fuckwit. He was literally senseless.

He always got more animated when he was covering Sunderland.

 

A Mackem for me - "Oh my God, Cascarino has scored again" as uttered by him on Metro remains one of my favourite things ever.

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Anybody who's ever heard Tommy Smyth's appalling commentary would put him as the first name on the worst of all time list. He imparts no knowledge, speaks exclusively in annoying cliches, is a Man Utd obsessive, looks really ugly - like a testicle with teeth and glasses - and has the most irritating high pitched nasal voice I've ever heard. Even the Irish are ashamed of him. He ruins any build up or match and I'd honestly prefer to listen to a random pissed up gadgee from the pub commentating than him.

 

He's like Andy Townsend, turned into a horrible high pitched leprechaun, and endowed with the mystical power of talking constant drivel without the need to breathe. He makes Donkey from Shrek seem like tolerable company and has very similar teeth. Thank God ESPN lost CL coverage, as he's clung on with them for years, stupid Americano pigdogs.

:D

 

You don't like the guy then?

 

Andy Townsend= Clueless C*nt

 

segment_338_460x345.jpg

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Anybody who's ever heard Tommy Smyth's appalling commentary would put him as the first name on the worst of all time list. He imparts no knowledge, speaks exclusively in annoying cliches, is a Man Utd obsessive, looks really ugly - like a testicle with teeth and glasses - and has the most irritating high pitched nasal voice I've ever heard. Even the Irish are ashamed of him. He ruins any build up or match and I'd honestly prefer to listen to a random pissed up gadgee from the pub commentating than him.

 

He's like Andy Townsend, turned into a horrible high pitched leprechaun, and endowed with the mystical power of talking constant drivel without the need to breathe. He makes Donkey from Shrek seem like tolerable company and has very similar teeth. Thank God ESPN lost CL coverage, as he's clung on with them for years, stupid Americano pigdogs.

:D

 

You don't like the guy then?

 

Andy Townsend= Clueless C*nt

 

segment_338_460x345.jpg

:icon_lol:

See what you mean about a Testicle Heed.

Judging by comments on

you're not alone in your dislike of him.

(he does seem a bit of a tool ,like)

Edited by Monkeys Fist
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Anybody who's ever heard Tommy Smyth's appalling commentary would put him as the first name on the worst of all time list. He imparts no knowledge, speaks exclusively in annoying cliches, is a Man Utd obsessive, looks really ugly - like a testicle with teeth and glasses - and has the most irritating high pitched nasal voice I've ever heard. Even the Irish are ashamed of him. He ruins any build up or match and I'd honestly prefer to listen to a random pissed up gadgee from the pub commentating than him.

 

He's like Andy Townsend, turned into a horrible high pitched leprechaun, and endowed with the mystical power of talking constant drivel without the need to breathe. He makes Donkey from Shrek seem like tolerable company and has very similar teeth. Thank God ESPN lost CL coverage, as he's clung on with them for years, stupid Americano pigdogs.

:D

 

You don't like the guy then?

 

Andy Townsend= Clueless C*nt

 

segment_338_460x345.jpg

:icon_lol:

See what you mean about a Testicle Heed.

Judging by comments on

you're not alone in your dislike of him.

(he does seem a bit of a tool ,like)

 

Hoplite 1766 "Tommy Smith sucks, being in the states I have to put up with this Irish twat, he is fucking clueless one of the worst commentators in the biz, just terrible"

 

:icon_lol: Sounds about right

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I'm not really a fan of any commentator, as they're all a bit crap. A nightmare combination would be Andy Townsend and David Pleat though. The worst sports commentators are found on freeview when they have Magners league rugby on the red button. You have a bunch of Welsh wankers not even looking at the game, and jabbering like a pair of retards who think they're Pete and Dud in one of the pub sketches. They are right cunts if you actually want to watch the game and you missed the team line ups. Actually they're right cunts full stop.

 

They should hire a certain Paul Cunningham. He was a teacher in my primary school in Hong Kong and he used to moonlight as the presenter of major sporting events for either ATV, TVB or the satellite channel Star TV(I forget which one). They used to make him wear spectacularly bad blazers in a colour like carary yellow or lime green, the kind even Barry Venison would say "fuck off that's hideous" to. He also did a kids TV show called Noodles with another teacher from my school.

Edited by Billy Castell
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