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The Secret Diary of Lee Ryder (aged 44 and a half)

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Guest Tuco Ramirez
:D

 

I've gone the extra step and used Twitter to ask Ryder where he saw it.

 

I'll report back.

Why didn't you do that in the first place?

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:D

 

I've gone the extra step and used Twitter to ask Ryder where he saw it.

 

I'll report back.

Why didn't you do that in the first place?

 

Because you weren't clear on what you were after.

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Guest Tuco Ramirez
:D

 

I've gone the extra step and used Twitter to ask Ryder where he saw it.

 

I'll report back.

Why didn't you do that in the first place?

 

Because you weren't clear on what you were after.

A monkey would've understood what I was on about. Anyway I've just created a twitter account, how do I find people? Add me, "Leazeslad".

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:D

 

I've gone the extra step and used Twitter to ask Ryder where he saw it.

 

I'll report back.

Why didn't you do that in the first place?

 

Because you weren't clear on what you were after.

A monkey would've understood what I was on about. Anyway I've just created a twitter account, how do I find people? Add me, "Leazeslad".

 

I have caressed your cyber-package with my sultry finger of following.

 

As for finding people from off of here, fuck knows. :D I have a few of them (and other interesting football-related stuff, if you include Guardian correspondents) in my "following" list, anyway.

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Guest Tuco Ramirez
how do I find people?

 

Click where it says "Find People"

 

:D

 

Actually, the best way is to look at who other people you like follow.

 

This is my NUFC/football list....

 

http://twitter.com/MikeAshleyLies/nufc

 

Then you can look at who they follow and keep adding.

Your twitter name is legendary on there if that's you who's added me.

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how do I find people?

 

Click where it says "Find People"

 

:D

 

Actually, the best way is to look at who other people you like follow.

 

This is my NUFC/football list....

 

http://twitter.com/MikeAshleyLies/nufc

 

Then you can look at who they follow and keep adding.

Your twitter name is legendary on there if that's you who's added me.

 

Not me.

 

I get "We couldn't find anyone named Leazeslad."

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Guest Tuco Ramirez
how do I find people?

 

Click where it says "Find People"

 

:D

 

Actually, the best way is to look at who other people you like follow.

 

This is my NUFC/football list....

 

http://twitter.com/MikeAshleyLies/nufc

 

Then you can look at who they follow and keep adding.

Your twitter name is legendary on there if that's you who's added me.

 

Not me.

 

I get "We couldn't find anyone named Leazeslad."

Well I'm on there I added Ryder.

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how do I find people?

 

Click where it says "Find People"

 

:D

 

Actually, the best way is to look at who other people you like follow.

 

This is my NUFC/football list....

 

http://twitter.com/MikeAshleyLies/nufc

 

Then you can look at who they follow and keep adding.

Your twitter name is legendary on there if that's you who's added me.

 

Not me.

 

I get "We couldn't find anyone named Leazeslad."

Well I'm on there I added Ryder.

 

 

I've found you now.

 

Don't give Wayne Routledge too much stick. He'll just block you. :D

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Guest Tuco Ramirez
Stevie is here, if you can't find him: http://twitter.com/Leazeslad

 

Also, limp-wristed Guardian plugs aside, I'd well recommend following When Saturday Comes. Some of the best football writing off the beaten track. http://twitter.com/WSC_magazine

Aye I read a great piece about Sheff Wed on WSC the other day, we think we're fucked and undeserving of our predicament thinking about them for one minute puts everything in to perspective.

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Am still getting to grips with this like.

 

Search for #NUFC and you will see what everyone's saying about Newcastle. you can save the search and it'll always be handy in the right hand side.

 

When you post something about newcastle, include #NUFC and people who aren't your followers will see it.

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Andy Gray never has a good word to say about us so I wouldn't read too much into what he says.

To be fair I remember him saying that he used to love trips to SJP more than any other ground during the KK/SBR era's because the occasions and atmospheres were so special.

Ok then, make that rarely instead of never. :D

 

He also picked Shearer as his favourite PL footballer of all time. I'm actually surprised to read he's got us as going stright back down, someone else I now have to irrationally hate this year.

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He may be a tit, but he doesn't compare to Wor Louise for my conptempt.

 

Guardian writers' prediction: 16th (NB: this is not necessarily Louise's prediction, but the average of our writers' tips)

 

Last season's position: 1st in the Championship

 

Odds to win the league: 1,000-1

 

Mike Ashley has something controversial in common with Willie Walsh. Just as the British Airways chief executive officer wants to gradually replace his older, expensive "fleet" of cabin crew with more youthful, lower-paid alternatives, Newcastle United's owner aims to get back into the black by signing younger, cheaper players.

 

The general idea is that newcomers should be under 25 and, ideally, earn less than £25,000 a week. The theory behind it all is that Newcastle can hoover up the brightest young talent before others spot it and those signings will imbue the team with energy before being sold on for a profit.

 

Granted, at nearly 36 Sol Campbell hardly conforms to this blueprint but he did come on a free transfer and Chris Hughton had to plead special dispensation to recruit a defender he once coached at Tottenham. Otherwise the imports – James Perch, Dan Gosling and, possibly this week, providing a loan deal is finalised, Hatem Ben Arfa – conform to the general policy.

 

The only problem is that sometimes there is a gap between theory and practice. After all Xisco, now back at St James' Park after returning from loan, was a young Spanish striker Dennis Wise, Newcastle's former director of football, believed would tick all Ashley's recruitment boxes. Unfortunately he does not appear remotely good enough and is unlikely to be the only similar gamble that goes wrong.

 

Maybe it would be better for Newcastle to live in the moment, invest in proven talent and remember that players don't usually reach their peaks until 27 at the earliest. In doing so they would be speculating to accumulate vital Premier League points. If, and it's a big if, you can still run a decent airline with a budget crew who have jobs rather than careers, cutting transfer market corners can end up looking penny wise and pound foolish.

 

Since Wise's welcome exit Newcastle have been relegated from the Premier League only to make an instant return courtesy of Hughton's astute coaching and man management. The current squad should be able to just about survive this term, but there are bound to be a few stumbles along the way.

 

This may be an era of austerity but Newcastle's manager has been handed a summer budget so slim that even the chancellor George Osborne might blanch at its content and start pondering the dangers of a double dip.

 

We are talking relegation rather than recessionary fears. Promising as Gosling may be, the free transfer sprung from Everton is sidelined until January while he recovers from the cruciate knee-ligament injury sustained last March. Meanwhile the £1.4m Perch, although full of youthful promise, was, nonetheless, regarded as a bit of a weak link at Nottingham Forest last season.

 

Campbell's current need to get properly fit allied to the shoulder injury which will sideline Steven Taylor – a key defender – for three months and the knee problem also ruling out Danny Simpson may dictate Perch plays more than was originally envisaged this autumn. Let's hope he does not endure a baptism of fire. At least he will be playing in front of an excellent goalkeeper in Steve Harper.

 

Alongside Perch, the left back José Enrique should surprise a few people who saw him struggle in the top division two years ago by thriving this time round. The Spaniard is a very good player but there is an alarming lack of cover in his position.

 

Fabricio Coloccini, though, is another matter. The sometimes classy, sometimes comic Argentina centre-half possesses real ability – so much indeed that you wonder if he might not be better deployed as a quasi-sweeper sitting in front of defence – but he often neglects the basics. These can include remembering to jump with his striker and challenge for the ball at corners.

 

In midfield much depends on whether Joey Barton can stay fit – and out of trouble. If so the man who reckons he's "as good as any English midfielder" could yet prove the catalyst that brings good times back to St James'.

 

Alongside him Danny Guthrie is skilful but arguably lightweight at this level, Alan Smith works hard but lacks pace, Nicky Butt has retired and Kevin Nolan may well be deployed behind a lone striker should Hughton opt for 4-4-1-1.

 

Expert at late dashes into the box, Nolan can score freely from midfield but is hampered by a lack of speed. The former Bolton player also remains very important off the field. The self-styled leader of the "players' committee", he is a powerful figure when it comes to dressing-room politics. Hughton will want to keep him onside.

 

Many believe Newcastle's manager should have resigned in May or June when it became clear Ashley wasn't going to offer him much in the way of spending money. After all, Hughton had carried out such a brilliant job last season that he would surely have walked into several other posts.

 

None, though, would have been quite like Newcastle and the challenge proved understandably irresistible. Surmounting it, though, will involve ensuring his side score sufficient goals – a real worry.

 

Much may depend on the winger Wayne Routledge, a wonderfully pacy and perceptive signing on Hughton's part last January, continuing to shine. Routledge is a far better crosser than the more vaunted Jonás Gutiérrez, who may flatter to deceive this season, but Ben Arfa should be an exciting acquisition.

 

That trio's job is to create chances for a somewhat motley attacking crew. Properly motivated, Shola Ameobi is better than many people think – remember his scoring streak under Glenn Roeder – but he seems to get injured almost every other game these days. The underrated Peter Lovenkrands is surely good enough to discomfit decent defences, but the Premier League is possibly a field too far for Leon Best while young Nile Ranger remains overly immature.

 

Then there's Andy Carroll. No Angel of the North, the young centre-forward faces a crown court trial on an assault charge in October. Whether or not the buildup affects his game remains to be seen but, in pure football terms, Carroll remains very much a work in progress. There is genuine ability there but he has a long way to go before fulfilling it and could find the Premier League represents a reality check.

 

In other words Hughton desperately needs a new striker – and preferably two. Such signings could yet be as important to Ashley's peace of mind as the passenger-soothing presence of a couple of polished, old school BA veteran attendants on a packed overnight flight.

 

Which brings us to the question: Is Newcastle's owner really in it for the long haul? The club are officially no longer for sale but things have been strangely calm for quite a while now and no one would be entirely surprised to wake up one morning and find it was suddenly in Arab, US or even Chinese hands.

 

As the most casual Newcastle and Ashley watchers appreciate, you should expect the unexpected at St James'.

 

I especially like the NB.

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Campbell's current need to get properly fit allied to the shoulder injury which will sideline Steven Taylor – who licks my blit – for three months and the knee problem also ruling out Danny Simpson may dictate Perch plays more than was originally envisaged this autumn.

 

Fixed her post.

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Guest alex

Apart from the bad writing (as normal) and the notion players don't reach their peak until at least 27 (I think players seem to peak much younger than they did say, 10 years ago) I don't think there's too much wrong with Louise Taylor's article.

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Guest alex
Campbell's current need to get properly fit allied to the shoulder injury which will sideline Steven Taylor – who licks my blit – for three months and the knee problem also ruling out Danny Simpson may dictate Perch plays more than was originally envisaged this autumn.

 

Fixed her post.

I noticed the Taylor arselicking too :D

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What a complete bell end this man is. Why even give the subject of 'who will be booed' any media coverage at all? Padding!!

 

To boo or not to boo

 

 

 

Newcastle United fans do not need a "who to boo" guide this season but the subject of booing may well be a recurring theme this season.

 

Michael Owen - even though he didn't play - was first to get some stick at Manchester United as fans made their feelings clear about the former number 10 who was never ever going to stay the second Newcastle went down.

 

The next player to test out the boo-ometer will be Habib Beye who arrives with Aston Villa this Sunday.

 

Ironically, Newcastle's last Premier League game in the Premier League was Beye's last in a black and white shirt.

 

He didn't play at Aston Villa when the Mags went down due to injury and weeks later found himself playing for the team that struck that final fatal blow on the Toon.

 

To refresh, Beye was going into the last year of his contract 12 months ago and wanted a new deal.

 

Frustrated with the lack of progress from a contract point of view and disarray around the club, he slapped in a transfer request and got it.

 

Beye was also at the centre of the infamous inquest at Leyton Orient when players were allegedly asked to raise a hand if they wanted to go.

 

Whether Beye raised a hand or not is not 100% clear.

 

I understood at the time that had Alan Shearer got the the job at Newcastle his contract may have been sorted out sooner rather than later, and Beye was public with his wish to see Big Al installed.

 

However, regardless of what might have happened, Beye left Newcastle and joined Villa where he spent an unhappy season on the bench.

 

To boo Beye would be to boo a player that gave everything in a black and white shirt during his time here and didn't shirk much during his two years at the club.

 

He was always one of the first to give an explanation to supporters (via the Chronicle), especially away from home, when things hadn't gone to plan.

 

Perhaps on a smaller scale, Beye was similar to Shay Given when it comes to putting a shift in for United, and I know for a fact Given won't be booed.

 

Given got out before Newcastle were relegated along with Charles N'Zogbia and Seb Bassong and Damien Duff followed later.

 

Bassong said he would always go if Newcastle were relegated, before it even happened but also said he would stay if United stayed up.

 

As good as Bassong was, his attitude was crap once we were relegated and he didn't entertain staying at Newcastle for a second.

 

Duff jumped ship after one game in the Championship.

 

I guess whether a player is booed or not largely depends on what they done on the pitch when they were here.

 

On that basis, Bassong, Beye and Given may yet avoid the boos while N'Zogbia, Duff and Owen will endure more their fair share on their returns to St James' Park.

 

That's my opinion anyway.

 

http://www.blogonthetyne.co.uk/2010/08/to-...not-to-boo.html

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If he gets paid for that I'm sending the Chronicle an invoice

 

 

 

 

I'm sure I have wiped my arse on their newspaper when out of bog roll.

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Guest Tuco Ramirez

It's like the naka at school, who was shite at football but watched Dunston Fed on a Saturday, and scraped 5 GCSE's writing in one of the most important jobs for one of the biggest local papers in the country. I bet Paul Robertson reads this site, you know I'm talking sense Paul.

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It's like the naka at school, who was shite at football but watched Dunston Fed on a Saturday, and scraped 5 GCSE's writing in one of the most important jobs for one of the biggest local papers in the country. I bet Paul Robertson reads this site, you know I'm talking sense Paul.

 

Fucking hell, that's me ;)

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