Howay 12447 Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Cheers, Sinbad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9172 Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Sinbad - is that Steven Taylor's new nickname? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38574 Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Couldn't help reading Vurnon's part in a Shteve McClaren accent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26625 Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Sinbad - is that Steven Taylor's new nickname? It is if you want it to be, sweetcheeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2188 Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26625 Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 10/11/2014 Well today ah'd just got off the phone to Ruel Fox in one of my never-ending nineties-retro pieces, y'knaa, the real bread and butter stuff of a local, banned journalist, anything to put in tonight's Chronicle, anything to keep the Wolves, AKA John Gibson, from my door. Ah was about to write it up after ah got Foxy to agree to going for a pint with me next time he was up to which he readily agreed to, 'Err, sure, mate, err, yeah, whatever, Bro' were his exact words. Great kid, Foxy. Anyway, as ah was saying, ah was just about to write it up when ah gets a ring off me nark, Remi Streete. "Alright, Tubby? Can you sub iz a pony?" He said, "What have you got, like?" ah says, "It'll have to be good for that type of outlay." The kid doesn't appreciate the tight restrictions Thomson House has on the old expenses list, you need a letter of introduction just to buy a bacon sarnie on the tab these days. Anyway, he says there's a private Sun interview with one of our players about a gambling addiction. Explosive stuff! Ryder thinks his readership deserve to know more so I meets up with Remi outside The Old George and slip him his backhander. "Where's the interview and who is it?" Ah asks. Apparently it's that fat cunt Shaun Custis who's forgotten where he's came from with his posh Geordie accent he puts on for his so-called mates on The Sunday Supplement, and the 'Addict' is young Bigirimana. Fucking champion! They're meeting in Marco Polo's restaurant at 12.30 so I rush to the Joke shop near The Goose and buy a pair of false glasses and moustache then make my way to the famous Italian ristorante. The waiter takes me to a table which is on the opposite side to the restaurant where Bigi and even bigger are sitting. "How, Don Corleone! Ah want to sit ower there, instead" ah tells the waiter and he takes the hint and puts me near the pair of them, right in earshot. Custis despite being a fat cunt and forgetting his roots is still a journalist and looks slightly suspicious of me as I sit next to them with me false moustache and glasses get up but ah just pick the menu up and pretend to read it as Bigi spills the beans. By all accounts Bigi's up to his neck with the old scatchcards, in Forest Hall alone he owes Kulars £130 and Vic's Traders of Glebe Road, £38.50! The poor kids in tears as he spills his guts and Custis is loving it, loving the fact he's got the exclusive on this sensational story but he hasn't reckoned on the boy Ryder, the master of disguise and intrigue. Ah pays up the bill for me bottle of Peroni and Pizza Quattro Stagioni and head back to Thomson House to get the story out there before Custis. That's why not just anyone can be a journalist. It's dog eat dog, and Custis the labrador has just been mauled by the Ryder Staffy. Belta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 9941 Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 Well today ah'd just got off the phone to Ruel Fox in one of my never-ending nineties-retro pieces, y'knaa, the real bread and butter stuff of a local, banned journalist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30254 Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 http://captiongenerator.com/25553/The-Ryder-Diaries :lol: Take a bow son (in Andy's Gray Scottish accent) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38574 Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 Plagiarist! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26625 Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 Plagiarist! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38574 Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ADP 0 Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 Ah grabs me plate and sits next to him, "Mehdi!, How's it going, mate? Great game the other day, mate! Fucking class you looked." Abeid starts to say something about fancying a Burger King instead and is about to make a sharp exit when ah have to interrupt him as ah spot a little black waiter walking past the table, "How! Chief! Can you give iz another bottle of Sagres beer? Cheers, Sinbad!" All of a sudden, the 'Waiter' stares at me and says, "IT'S YOU!!" Ah then look at him properly and fuck me, it's only Vurnon Anita! Bastard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13814 Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 14528 Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 It gets more surreal and yet more plausably realistic with every entry (oo and indeed err missus) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26625 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 It gets more surreal and yet more plausably realistic with every entry (oo and indeed err missus) "Ah was wearing this very same get up when ah got the Bigi scratchcard story from under Custis's nose." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38574 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 The challenge- find a photo of The Knight Ryder with his top button fastened. You have 24hrs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Kelly 1115 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 A quick Google suggests that's going to be an extremely difficult task. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 The challenge- find a photo of The Knight Ryder with his top button fastened. You have 24hrs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 13988 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38574 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohhh_yeah 2763 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 The challenge- find a photo of The Knight Ryder with his top button fastened. You have 24hrs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38574 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 Tidied Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26625 Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 1. How long can Newcastle realistically keep this up? A good friend of mine who has had a season ticket at SJP for over 25 years sent a text message to me shortly after the final whistle saying he simply could not believe what had happened in recent weeks. Having experienced emotions that go up and down more than the old Corkscrew roller-coaster at the now defunct Spanish City I asked him when he would start getting “carried away”. But in a flash he replied saying: “Howay mate this is Newcastle, there’s always something around the corner and I’ve learned not to get carried away by anything”. They were wise words but that doesn’t mean that the United fans should not enjoy this run and make the most of it. We now head to West Ham on Saturday for an interesting clash with big Sam’s team. It will be a big test for Newcastle to see if they can maintain their winning run in the Premier League but it is winnable In fact, if United can’t be confident after six wins in a row in all competitions you have to ask when you are allowed to err on the side of optimism. Trips to West Ham and Burnley come before the next home game against Chelsea and if Alan Pardew continues to get his tactics right there is a chance that the winning sequence can flow until the clash with the table toppers. The Hammers and Clarets are both beatable so in the short-term it’s got to be the aim for Pardew and Co. http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/five-talking-points-newcastle-united-8159723? :lol: Even I couldn't make this shit up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38574 Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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