PaddockLad 14579 Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Blatantly reading this s forum , and blatantly also not understanding the concept of parody Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12452 Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Fucking hell man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38733 Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Blatantly having this forum read to him , and blatantly also not understanding the concept of parody FYP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12452 Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Gibbo reading it to him and him going. "Ah could use some of this stuff, ah remember being at a right tear up at the Shiremoor treat, Gypsies one side and some of the Geordie boot boys finest on the other, a day ah'll never forget" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38733 Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Gibbo- " I carn reed it. 'S all blurry and spinning....... nother whishhky? Don' mine if ah do ye little cunt" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12452 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30372 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Gibbo reading it to him and him going. "Ah could use some of this stuff, ah remember being at a right tear up at the Shiremoor treat, Gypsies one side and some of the Geordie boot boys finest on the other, a day ah'll never forget" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26768 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 24/11/2014 Well diary, time for a Ryder catch-up, Ah was finishing putting together a special 'six of the best' piece about Pard's heroes last six games, y'knaa, a kind of tribute to all the cup specials that Gibbo would put out when he was fucking desperate for a story and the well was dry, unlike his whisky glass. Ah basically copied and pasted bits from my match reports of the last six games and like a wurlitzer ride on the hoppings, I was done in three minutes flat but unlike the iconic ride I wasn't out of breath when ah'd finished. Anyway, my hotphone goes and ah answer sharpish, "Ryder, Top sports journalist speaking." It was Remi bringing me some more gen for a sub. Ah quickly gets the haggling done and he accepts a fifty bar note. Turns out Sammy Ameobi and Paul Dummett are doing a 'Racisim, kick it out' visit at Welbeck school in Walker where only invited journalists are allowed and as ah'm a clear and present danger to the NUFC Overlords then ah knew ah'd have to get in incog, ingoc, in disguise. Ah head down to the basement of Thomson House and borrow old Jenkins brown caretaker coat and head off to Walker. Ah walk into the school with the brown jacket on, a flat cap and a brush in me hand and get through to the assembly hall where flying winger Sammy is holding court with the new Hadrian's wall, big Paul Dummett, 'they will not pass!'. Anyways, ah'm tekking sly photos of them and recording their craic on me iphone when one of the kids shouts out, "You're not Mr Pearson! You're not our caretaker!" Next minute there's hell on. There's teachers demanding to know who I am and kids shouting "Don't touch us!" Then some meathead fathas in Helly Hansen jackets start running after me shouting they'll kill me and shouting Peado, pervert and Savile! They think ah'm a pervert when ah'm just trying to get a story for the Ronnie Gill! They chase me ah'll the way out and down Welbeck Road and ah'm nee mug, but there's just too many of them, and that's just the mothers with a death look on their faces and a greggs bag in their handbags! Anyway, ah gets down Scrogg Road and head into the graveyard before the £3 Miami Pizzas start to affect the fathas and mothers and they give up the chase. A lucky escape but ah've still got to get through Hexham avenue which makes 'The Warriors' trek through New York look like a stroll through Kensington Gardens. The things a local, banned journalist has to put up with! Anyways, ah gets back with the pics and the recordings and get it into tomorrows chronicle for my discerning NUFC readers. Ryder and out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Kelly 1117 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12452 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Clear and present danger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13836 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38733 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 14579 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30372 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Genius these like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Ryder and Out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19808 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 need their own blog page/twitter feed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38733 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Has anyone sent them to Tyneside's No.1 Sports Journalist yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26768 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Has anyone sent them to Tyneside's No.1 Sports Journalist yet? He can fucking well buy them just like everybody else! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38733 Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 Fame has ruined you HMHM, ruined you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26768 Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 Fame has ruined you HMHM, ruined you. "In the future, you may refrain from addressing me until you've cleared it with my dogsbody, PaddockLad. Now run along and polish your helmet or whatever it is you plebians actually do." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 14579 Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 "In the future, you may refrain from addressing me until you've cleared it with my dogsbody, PaddockLad. Now run along and polish your helmet or whatever it is you plebians actually do." Aye you're just like Prince Charles you need an equerry to fuckin dress you in the mornings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26768 Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 Aye you're just like Prince Charles you need an equerry to fuckin dress you in the mornings Zip it, Jeeves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38733 Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 Prince Chaz gets dressed by a poofdah? Whaaaaaat? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 What a cunt. This is why I don't buy the Evening Chronicle. He dominates the sports pages, and this afternoons paper, Thursday 27th November carries this as it's HEADLINE article. Thursday this: http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/ayoze-perez-ready-keep-hitting-8180773 The quotes from this article from Perez were made on Tuesday mornings press conference, to the extent THE SUN, a national newspaper were able to print it at 10pm on Tuesday evening, about Perez being mad for fish and chips. Our door opening bald 30 something Alan Oliver, writes it as our sporting headline TWO and a half days later. Just incredible. Hungover without a doubt. An incredible human being in an astonishingly good position for someone so dense and heavily in to his alcohol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26768 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 27/11/14 Sometimes in this game you come out on top, you get the scoop while others eat your dust, sometimes ah think it's just too easy and it's Ryder versus the rest with the rest in my rear view mirror. But sometimes even the best get stung. Yesterday ah was passing through the coast to drop a birthday card off for me Auntie when ah got the kind of hunger pangs you used to get picking willocks at the beach when you were a bairn. Anyways, being a journalist you learn to be observant and ah noticed a chippy on my left heading past Seaton Sluice. Ah enters the establishment of 'The Harbour View' and proceeded to get a carton of gravy and chips when my Sports Journalist senses started tingling like Scott Sellars when he knew there was a chance of a through ball to Andy 'King' Cole. Ah overhears some auld dear talking to the Wife behind the counter about how celebrities are getting in now, namely Premier league footballers. It turns out that new Spanish teen sensation, Ayoze Perez, the Matador of Gallowgate has been getting stuck into the old Geordie cuisine! Ah hung back till they shut up the shop and managed to beat the rest to this breaking news. Apparently the Goal assassin from Tenerife had cod and chips, he asked for a kids portion but as this would've filled most adults this posed about as much a problem for the Toon hitman as Tottenham's defence did. He didn't ask for batter with his chips but Mrs Parker put some on anyway and he seemed happy enough especially when she also gave him a small wooden fork which he said he was going to keep to show his brother. As ah left the Harbour View eating me gravy and chips ah noticed the chips carton had a copy of The Sun around it, ah had a chuckle at their North East correspondent, David Coverdale's picture thinking this is where your stuff ends up, mate, in chips! Then ah noticed a story about Senor Perez eating fish & chips!! Ah looked at the date and it was from Tuesday! Two days ago! Fucking bastards! Ah'd been out manoover, manouviu, been fucking done by Coverdale! Ah well ah thought, even the best don't always win. Ah still ran the story anyway as ah knew my loyal readers would like the Ryder take on the Chippygate story. Laters Diary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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