Monkeys Fist 38655 Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 "But only time will tell if he is given the chance to get on with the job from an level playing field as Alan Pardew and show that he can make a decent start to next season." My 7 year old daughter can write better sentences than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5899 Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I'm guessing he means 'As level a playing field as Alan Pardew' It's not even a spelling mistake. The whole sentence doesn't make sense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2188 Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 I find it beyond strange Ryder is employed as a journalist. The majority of people who write for the Mag have a better grasp of English and punctuation. It's quite painful to read his tortuous prose and often hard to make any sense of. The editor must be off his tits on booze or drugs to let this perma shizzle stink up the back pages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19770 Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 You'd think the subs woukd pick it up at least. He's not the one incompetent one at Chronicle towers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6432 Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 You'd think the subs woukd pick it up at least. He's not the one incompetent one at Chronicle towers Judging by this post you'd be a shoo-in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monroe Transfer 0 Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 You'd think the subs woukd pick it up at least I'm not sure they employ any. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12452 Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 I find it beyond strange Ryder is employed as a journalist. The majority of people who write for the Mag have a better grasp of English and punctuation. It's quite painful to read his tortuous prose and often hard to make any sense of. The editor must be off his tits on booze or drugs to let this perma shizzle stink up the back pages. They may as well split his wage between two or so of the mag writers or something, even on top of their normal jobs they could find the time to write better, more insightful articles than the former footsoldier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19770 Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Judging by this post you'd be a shoo-in. You should apply, you'd make chief sub, no bother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34306 Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 They may as well split his wage between two or so of the mag writers or something, even on top of their normal jobs they could find the time to write better, more insightful articles than the former footsoldier. That's an excellent point actually. These articles are the product of a full day's work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneColdStephenIreland 74 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Managing director Lee Charnley was at the club in 2009 when the Magpies dropped into the Championship and played a role in bringing Alan Shearer back to the club. Despite Shearers high profile and knowledge of United it wasnt enough to wake up a bunch of players that had played poorly for eight months and the club were relegated despite his appointment. Fast forward to 2015 and lessons have been learned at Newcastle. The feeling is a new voice may not have made a difference this time around. Exactly what lessons have been learned, Lee? If that was the case we wouldnt be in this mess you daft twat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12452 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Aye they could have appointed an actual football manager when Pardew left instead of just deciding to write half a season off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5899 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 The Mackems have stopped up 3 seasons running swapping their manager late in the game. Pulls kept Palace up last season. Pardew has kept Palace up this season. Sherwood has probably kept Villa up. Charnley is full of shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19770 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) Managing director Lee Charnley was at the club in 2009 when the Magpies dropped into the Championship and played a role in bringing Alan Shearer back to the club. Despite Shearers high profile and knowledge of United it wasnt enough to wake up a bunch of players that had played poorly for eight months and the club were relegated despite his appointment. Fast forward to 2015 and lessons have been learned at Newcastle. The feeling is a new voice may not have made a difference this time around. Exactly what lessons have been learned, Lee? If that was the case we wouldnt be in this mess you daft twat. upsum: the lesson learned is, we're going down regardless of whether we appoint a new manager so let's save ourselves the expense of getting a new manager in. jesus wept. Edited May 5, 2015 by Dr Gloom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12452 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 upsum: the lesson learned is, we're going down regardless of whether we appoint an new manager so let's save ourselves the expense of getting a new manager in. jesus wept. Pretty much aye. The worry about relegation is if they decide to keep Carver as manager if they go down, maybe seeing it as 'his level' (which it's still way above). Always looking for the cheap option and I have a worry they'd do a Hughton if we went down and have him just remain manager with little to no acknowledgement from above, of course unlike Hughton it'd be a complete disaster and he'd have us fighting off another relegation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12755 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Say what you will about Llambias, with him at the helm, it at least felt like there was some semblance of a plan and some direction. You might have disagreed with it but he seemed to have his head screwed on. Now, between Kinnear and Charnley, there seems like nowt. Charnley seems like he can't (or won't) make a decision to save his life either. "Crisis talks" with Pardew achieved nowt, same with Carver, they missed out on targets because of valuation, as soon as he speaks to any manager, they're immediately ruled out of contention. The one thing he's good at is selling players but he's not even good at that when you consider we got less than £10 million for Yanga-Mbwia and Santon, two full internationals going to teams with money to spend. Basically, it's a miracle if we stay up and we address the malaise in any significant way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30330 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Say what you will about Llambias, with him at the helm, it at least felt like there was some semblance of a plan and some direction. You might have disagreed with it but he seemed to have his head screwed on. Now, between Kinnear and Charnley, there seems like nowt. Charnley seems like he can't (or won't) make a decision to save his life either. "Crisis talks" with Pardew achieved nowt, same with Carver, they missed out on targets because of valuation, as soon as he speaks to any manager, they're immediately ruled out of contention. The one thing he's good at is selling players but he's not even good at that when you consider we got less than £10 million for Yanga-Mbwia and Santon, two full internationals going to teams with money to spend. Basically, it's a miracle if we stay up and we address the malaise in any significant way. Aye. You can imagine Charnley so fucking paralysed with fear his default position is to do nowt / hope it sorts itself out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12452 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Say what you will about Llambias, with him at the helm, it at least felt like there was some semblance of a plan and some direction. You might have disagreed with it but he seemed to have his head screwed on. Now, between Kinnear and Charnley, there seems like nowt. Charnley seems like he can't (or won't) make a decision to save his life either. "Crisis talks" with Pardew achieved nowt, same with Carver, they missed out on targets because of valuation, as soon as he speaks to any manager, they're immediately ruled out of contention. The one thing he's good at is selling players but he's not even good at that when you consider we got less than £10 million for Yanga-Mbwia and Santon, two full internationals going to teams with money to spend. Basically, it's a miracle if we stay up and we address the malaise in any significant way. Spot on, he's so indecisive it's costing us time and time again. Like you say the plan and direction under Llambias was one most of us didn't like (profitability at the expense of entertainment) but at least it was a clear plan and it was pretty much guaranteeing Premiership football. As much as I dislike the bloke he followed his plan, he got rid of Hughton because he wanted Pardew etc this bloke is just stood shivering looking at the clock hoping it's time for him to go home and Kinnear just fucked off on holiday whenever it actually came time for him to do his job . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26723 Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half. 08/05/2015 Well ah've been a busy bee these last few weeks with all the fall out from the many defeats the lads in Black & white, or grey when we change strips, have been taking. Ah've been non-stop 'on the United beat' as the great Alan Oliver used to say. Ah was in bed the other night in the middle of 'European football factories' which ah knew quite a bit of after me fact finding mission to Dortmund a couple of months ago, when me phone rang. "Hello, It's Ryder, speak to me" ah said. The voice at the other said, "St. James' Park. Half an hour. Be prompt and bring a notepad and pen." before hanging up. Ah knew the voice, it was Danger Mouse's friend, Penfold look-a-like, the young Toon supremo, Lee Charnley! Ah didn't stop to think for a second, which is my normal modoss oper..., mrders, murders operation, err, is how ah normally work, like. Ah gets to the SJP reception just after midnight to be greeted by a night shift receptionist who wasn't normally there, the lass explained it was her first shift and she was told it was for one night only on a zero hours contract. She sent me in to a dark, murky office with just a single 40 watt lamp illuminating a small round table with Penfold Charnley sitting on one side of it and a spare chair on the other. Charnas then told the lass to sign herself out and put two hours on her agency works form which she seemed to disagree on, she gans, "But Mr Charnley, I started work at 11pm and now it's 01. 17!" Penfold told her that NUFC only pays to the nearest hour and if she wanted to work here again she'd need to understand that before turning to me as the lass left looking at Charnas with a grateful smile although it was hard to tell in the dark room, ah got the feeling she was really grateful for the two hours pay the club had put her way. "Lee, we need a letter to the fans. It's got to be from our Captain whom they totally respect. We've already tried Moncur, Beardsley and Carver, hell we even got John Hall out of his nursing home for a day and had to pretend we were taking him to MetroLand, but the fans aren't buying it. We need Coloccini to get them to call off the protest. I'm concerned we could get relegated and Mike will go fucking beserk if we go down and lose the tv money. I'm fucked here if we go down, he'll make sure I never get another admin job anywhere including WH Smith in Northumberland street as Mike knows their boss!" Wow! The shit really was starting to hit the fan or fans in this case. "What can ah do for you, Mr Charnley?" ah says. Charnas then told me me that obviously Colo wasn't going to write the letter himself and that the fans would smell a rat if my belle of the PR ball, Wendy wrote it as she wasn't on 'the same level as the fans' he said. "Lee Ryder! We need you to write it for us. You have the common fans touch. You speak their language. Go ahead and write it down. Don't use word or excel, use a notepad." Ah scratched me head a bit at that, mind, why would he think ah wouldn't use me trusted notepad? Anyway, under his glare ah scratched oot the words in that dark, seedy room as if me journalistic career depended on it, which, let's be honest diary, it fucking well does! next thing ah knaa, Carvs walks in the room and takes the A4 off iz, winks at me and says, "Cheers wor kid! Your letter's ganna be at tomorrows presser! Any news you need, any stories, just give iz a bell, Lee!". Fucking champion! you can't stop the boy Ryder getting into print! Plus ah was keeping me NUFC contacts going strong. Ah went back home in the early hours thinking, if only the fans knew the efforts ah put into making Newcastle United great again! It's only something me loyal Chronicle readers will know and obviosly love. Laters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Kelly 1116 Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12452 Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30330 Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38655 Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34306 Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 I hope he fucking reads these. Has anyone ever tweeted them to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38655 Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Does Twitter come with text to audio? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trooper 940 Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Excellent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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