Monkeys Fist 38682 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 He's gone beyond globular and become tubular. His head will start to sink soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9192 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 (edited) He's gone beyond globular and become tubular. His head will start to sink soon. Interesting choice of shirt he is wearing stretching Edited July 24, 2015 by RobinRobin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30336 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Interesting choice of shirt he is wearing stretching Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14030 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Good old Queens Rangers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12756 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Literally one read-through of his work would spot these things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30336 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Literally one read-through of his work would spot these things. Unless it's him reading through it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26731 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 (edited) The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half 10/08/2015 Another season, another dollar, diary! The busy days of an award winning sports journalist cranks up that little bit more when the big kick off comes around and I'm not talking about any battles of Bath Lane but the new season! With the likes of the new boys, Georginio 'Gini' Wijnaldum, Chancel 'Do you' Mbemba 'the time' and Aleksandar 'heed the baal, lick the flange' Mitrovic joining the ranks of the NE1 superstars alongside Schteve the boss, coaches Cathro and Simpson, there was plenty of fresh material for the boy Ryder to get to grips with. Ah thought me loyal Toon Army readers would be champing at the bit to hear about the new men on the Tyne so ah was on it quicker than a PL centre forward chasing a Willo fuck up. Ah thought where better to start with our new boys than getting the thoughts of former net botherer, one Michael Quinn once of the St. James' Parish, now entertaining the masses on national radio. Quinny as always, was fucking sound and said he was looking forward to seeing the new lads in action and me loyal readers had another great scoop about the new contingent from a true black & white legend. Class! Ah also tried something groundbreaking in sports journalism as ah knaa if you stand still in this game you become yesterday's man, which reminds me, ah must give Roger Tames a bell, anyways, ah decided to track down an expert lip reader from the Tyne & Wear deaf association and bought him a ticket in the East Stand as well as finding him some binocilar, binucol, err, a telescope type thingy so he could lip read the main men in the dug out and ah could share Schteve's match day thoughts in the morras Ronny Gill. Ah met the lip reader, Peter Piper in the Percy supping a pint or two after the game and he handed me his notes which ah was positive were going to have some real coaching bits of gold dust in them. Ah thanked Peter, bought him another pint and bunged him the £50 ah'd secured from the expenses. Ah raced back home and looked at his notes; COACHES TRANSCRIPT S McClaren - SM Paul Simpson - PS Ian Cathro - IC 01.34: IC "Vurn, droap back, son! Jack! help Gini!" 01.39: PS "Go on! go on Moussa son!" 01.49: SM "Stop the cross! don't let him cro.....Ah for fuck sake!" 02.12: PS "Get it over, Hads.....Yeeeeeeeeeesssssssss!!!!!!!!" 02.33: PS "Good ball Gabby.....Yeeeeeeeeeesssssssss!!!!!!!!." 03.04: SM "Get tight! stop the cross!...........Fuck off!" 03.11: PS "Fancy a chinkees later on, boss? There's meant to be loads in that China Town." 03.12: IC "Di the dee that deep fried shit, everything battered, ken?" END OF TRANSCRIPT. ah couldn't believe that was just it, like! fifty fucking quid, a match ticket in the east stand and a lend of cockeyed Mala's telescope for fuck ah'll!! Ah phoned up Peter the lip reader but he telt iz that most of the time they were covering their mouths with their hands so's journalists couldn't tell what was being said! The fucking crafty bastard!! Ah secretly doffed me cap to the main man in the SJP dugout and settled for me match write up and a 'five things we learned today' piece which included that Paul 'Simma' Simpson liked Chinese food which ah knew me punters would love to hear about. Anyways, it's good to be back. Laters! Edited August 10, 2015 by Howmanheyman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30336 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26229 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5899 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Every fucker is doing 5 things we learned today. There's a few fan accounts cropped up this season who spend all day everyday just copying other people's tweets and making an article out of them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8978 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Listicles are fucking terrible like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toonotl 2406 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I know. 1. They're boring 2. Lazy 3. Repetitive 4. Completely useless 5. And repetitive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12756 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I disagree. 1. They're good 2. Easy to digest 3. Spanners 4. Pizza 5. Hits for my great website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8978 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Ooh Pizza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38682 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 1. Duck Pizza 2. Duck Pizza with Cherry Tomato 3. A rusty coin 4. Grapes 5. Frozen Grapes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mighty Hog 336 Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 [tweet] [/tweet] Oh Lee, you big tease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34335 Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Presumably revealing why a professional journalist thinks that you put spaces before a question mark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2188 Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 There's not much of him to reveal tbf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toonotl 2406 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Isn't it ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Has someone off here made this? @DailyRyder Hats off if you have. About 100 sackable offences if I ran Thomson Hoose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haydnator 45 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Caption this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26731 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Looks like Ryder has competition at the Ronny Gill...... http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/jack-colback-newcastle-united-midfielders-10000448? There is a debate on Tyneside at the moment that rages every time an England squad is announced: should Jack Colback have received a phone call from Roy Hodgson? I was out last night and can't believe I managed to miss all the raging debates going on around me about Colback not getting picked for England. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 (edited) Douglas has just published an article about what the team will look like in 3 windows time, and even gone to the trouble of himself and a colleague each picking a team containing random players that there's no fucking way we'll sign. Horrendous. Edit: Here http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/what-newcastle-united-look-like-10004148? Edited September 7, 2015 by TheGingerQuiff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26731 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Douglas has just published an article about what the team will look like in 3 windows time, and even gone to the trouble of himself and a colleague each picking a team containing random players that there's no fucking way we'll sign. Horrendous. Edit: Here http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/what-newcastle-united-look-like-10004148? That Chris Waugh has a fucking cheek, writes about imaginary 'raging debates' about Colback not getting an England call-up on the 6th Sept then the next day doesn't even put him in his own side for that article. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Clearly followed the train of thought that won't be able to hold onto him once he sets France '16 alight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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