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if you heard a joke today, post it


Dr Gloom
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12 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Italian bloke rings the docs for a medical, and is asked to bring a specimen with him. 
 

“ ‘Ow am I gonna do tha? I don’t know any astronauts!” 
 

 

 

I Thangew. 

Razzista!

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My lass just asked me what I was doing on the computer. I said, "Looking for cheap flights."

She got very excited and said, "I love you," then got on her knees & gave me the best blow job I've ever had...

Which surprised me as she's never been interested in darts before!

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1 hour ago, Carl said:

My lass just asked me what I was doing on the computer. I said, "Looking for cheap flights."

She got very excited and said, "I love you," then got on her knees & gave me the best blow job I've ever had...

Which surprised me as she's never been interested in darts before!

On my wedding day my best man said, 'I know you're getting married, but that's one massive grin on your face!' I told him my soon to be new bride had sneaked round the night before and gave me the best blow job of my life. 'Jammy bastard' he replied. Five mins earlier the chief bridesmaid mentioned how happy my soon to be wife was looking. 'I popped round his last night and gave him the last blow of his life!' she beamed.

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4 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

My lad asked if chickens like music…

“ Yes son, they like Classical music”

” Really Dad, who’s their favourite composer?”

 

 

” Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach”

 

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8 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

My lad asked if chickens like music…

“ Yes son, they like Classical music”

” Really Dad, who’s their favourite composer?”

 

 

” Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach”

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