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if you heard a joke today, post it


Dr Gloom
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On 13/03/2022 at 09:18, Dr Gloom said:

Sorry not sorry

 

 

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Loads of those books are filled with jokes that are lifted straight from comedians on twitter without crediting them.

 

Is this book one of those books? Cos if it is, you're not allowed to enjoy it.

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  • 3 weeks later...
16 minutes ago, trophyshy said:

You’ll get it sorted mate. 
 

Howmanheyman, don’t dream it’s over. 
 

 

:lol: How long have you been waiting to use that one?

 

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2 minutes ago, Meenzer said:

 

:lol: How long have you been waiting to use that one?

 

About 3 weeks.  I got sick of trying to crowbar it in.  That’ll have to do.  :lol:  

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A man and wife go on a romantic weekend to a hotel.

 

Their double room reservation has been messed up, and instead they are given an attic room with 2 single beds. There is a raised beam on the floor between the beds, which they have to step over to avoid stubbing their toes.

 

When they go to bed, the husband switches the light off and says to his wife, “how about a bit of nookie then?”. She agrees and makes her way across the room in the dark and painfully stubs her toe on the raised beam.

 

Her husband hears her shout in pain and comforts her by saying “oh diddums did you stub your little tootsie-wootsie, come and lie in my bed and let me rub it better for you”. She lies next to him in bed, and they spend the next hour having wonderful sex.

 

The wife then gets out of bed and starts to cross the room to return to her bed and stubs here toe on the raised beam again. On hearing her shout with pain again, her husband says

 

“Jesus, can’t you pick your fucking feet up!"

Edited by zzub
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5 hours ago, zzub said:

A man and wife go on a romantic weekend to a hotel.

 

Their double room reservation has been messed up, and instead they are given an attic room with 2 single beds. There is a raised beam on the floor between the beds, which they have to step over to avoid stubbing their toes.

 

When they go to bed, the husband switches the light off and says to his wife, “how about a bit of nookie then?”. She agrees and makes her way across the room in the dark and painfully stubs her toe on the raised beam.

 

Her husband hears her shout in pain and comforts her by saying “oh diddums did you stub your little tootsie-wootsie, come and lie in my bed and let me rub it better for you”. She lies next to him in bed, and they spend the next hour having wonderful sex.

 

The wife then gets out of bed and starts to cross the room to return to her bed and stubs here toe on the raised beam again. On hearing her shout with pain again, her husband says

 

“Jesus, can’t you pick your fucking feet up!"

If you’re a mackem having a go at Chris Wood I’ll change my mind and declare this a work of beautifully subtle genius 

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8 hours ago, zzub said:

A man and wife go on a romantic weekend to a hotel.

 

Their double room reservation has been messed up, and instead they are given an attic room with 2 single beds. There is a raised beam on the floor between the beds, which they have to step over to avoid stubbing their toes.

 

When they go to bed, the husband switches the light off and says to his wife, “how about a bit of nookie then?”. She agrees and makes her way across the room in the dark and painfully stubs her toe on the raised beam.

 

Her husband hears her shout in pain and comforts her by saying “oh diddums did you stub your little tootsie-wootsie, come and lie in my bed and let me rub it better for you”. She lies next to him in bed, and they spend the next hour having wonderful sex.

 

The wife then gets out of bed and starts to cross the room to return to her bed and stubs here toe on the raised beam again. On hearing her shout with pain again, her husband says

 

“Jesus, can’t you pick your fucking feet up!"

 

5exlu9.png

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