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if you heard a joke today, post it


Dr Gloom
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48 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

An Italian rabbit called Pierro hops in to the same bar and asks the barman for a cheese and onion toastie and a ham toastie. 
 

He eats them, leaving a terrible mess, and leaves. 
 

Next day, same thing, “ A cheese and onion toastie, and a ham toastie per favore”

Eats, leaves an awful mess, buggers off. 
 

This goes on for days, until finally the barman has had enough, and this time gives him a cheese toastie, and a ham and onion toastie. 

 

Pierro hobbles in the next day, eyes swollen, terribly ill, and collapses in front of the bar. 
 

The horrified barman asks him what happened and, with last breath, Pierro raises his head and says 

“ You- you mix a ma toasties!” 


I first heard that joke more than forty years  ago. Please return it to the British Museum where it belongs :cuppa:

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2 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

An Italian rabbit called Pierro hops in to the same bar and asks the barman for a cheese and onion toastie and a ham toastie. 
 

He eats them, leaving a terrible mess, and leaves. 
 

Next day, same thing, “ A cheese and onion toastie, and a ham toastie per favore”

Eats, leaves an awful mess, buggers off. 
 

This goes on for days, until finally the barman has had enough, and this time gives him a cheese toastie, and a ham and onion toastie. 

 

Pierro hobbles in the next day, eyes swollen, terribly ill, and collapses in front of the bar. 
 

The horrified barman asks him what happened and, with last breath, Pierro raises his head and says 

“ You- you mix a ma toasties!” 

loop munching GIF

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12 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

Who hides in the bathroom at parties? 
 

The party-pooper.

Got to be a shocker for MF to give it a Jaysus response :smile:

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21 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

Who hides in the bathroom at parties? 
 

The party-pooper.


Who always blocks the bog at parties?

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20 hours ago, trophyshy said:


Who always blocks the bog at parties?

Jona Lewie? 

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An oregano, a rosemary and a basil tried to get served late on but the barman said, 'sorry, thyme at the bar, please. Thyme at the bar'

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3 hours ago, Howmanheyman said:

An oregano, a rosemary and a basil tried to get served late on but the barman said, 'sorry, thyme at the bar, please. Thyme at the bar'

No Way Monkey GIF

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It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub, but a 45 minute walk from the pub to my house...


The difference is staggering.

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Bear walks in to a bar and says,

” I’ll have a pint of lager and…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

… a half of coke. “


Barman says,

” Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”

Bear says,

” I’ve had them since birth.”

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  • Jaysus... 1
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