PaddockLad 10152 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 48 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: An Italian rabbit called Pierro hops in to the same bar and asks the barman for a cheese and onion toastie and a ham toastie. He eats them, leaving a terrible mess, and leaves. Next day, same thing, “ A cheese and onion toastie, and a ham toastie per favore” Eats, leaves an awful mess, buggers off. This goes on for days, until finally the barman has had enough, and this time gives him a cheese toastie, and a ham and onion toastie. Pierro hobbles in the next day, eyes swollen, terribly ill, and collapses in front of the bar. The horrified barman asks him what happened and, with last breath, Pierro raises his head and says “ You- you mix a ma toasties!” I first heard that joke more than forty years ago. Please return it to the British Museum where it belongs 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5360 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 2 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: An Italian rabbit called Pierro hops in to the same bar and asks the barman for a cheese and onion toastie and a ham toastie. He eats them, leaving a terrible mess, and leaves. Next day, same thing, “ A cheese and onion toastie, and a ham toastie per favore” Eats, leaves an awful mess, buggers off. This goes on for days, until finally the barman has had enough, and this time gives him a cheese toastie, and a ham and onion toastie. Pierro hobbles in the next day, eyes swollen, terribly ill, and collapses in front of the bar. The horrified barman asks him what happened and, with last breath, Pierro raises his head and says “ You- you mix a ma toasties!” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14389 Posted March 28 Author Share Posted March 28 Who hides in the bathroom at parties? The party-pooper. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 10152 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 I've been asked to lay new turf on a field for a civil war re-enactment battle. Sod that for a game of soldiers….. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27925 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 7 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: Who hides in the bathroom at parties? The party-pooper. Shite. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5360 Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 12 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: Who hides in the bathroom at parties? The party-pooper. Got to be a shocker for MF to give it a Jaysus response 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14389 Posted March 29 Author Share Posted March 29 What do you call sweaty boobs? Humidititties. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27925 Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 Better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 4771 Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 21 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: Who hides in the bathroom at parties? The party-pooper. Who always blocks the bog at parties? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27925 Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 10 minutes ago, trophyshy said: Who always blocks the bog at parties? Callum Mawson? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14389 Posted March 29 Author Share Posted March 29 32 minutes ago, trophyshy said: Who always blocks the bog at parties? William Shitwell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5360 Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 14 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 22598 Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 20 hours ago, trophyshy said: Who always blocks the bog at parties? Jona Lewie? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 19010 Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 2 hours ago, Alex said: Jona Lewie? Eranu! The correct answer is Sam Allardyce. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27925 Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 I swapped our bed for a trampoline the other day. Mrs. F. hit the roof. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 5780 Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 Don't worry, she'll bounce back. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27925 Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 Helvetica, New Roman and Comic Sans all walk in to a bar for a beer. Barman says “ Out, we don’t serve your type in here.” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14389 Posted March 31 Author Share Posted March 31 my friend worked at the zoo to circumcise elephants. the pay was bad but the tips were huge. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 19010 Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 An oregano, a rosemary and a basil tried to get served late on but the barman said, 'sorry, thyme at the bar, please. Thyme at the bar' 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27925 Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 Bloke with amnesia walks up to a beautiful brunette at the bar and says ” Do I come here often?” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 8353 Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 3 hours ago, Howmanheyman said: An oregano, a rosemary and a basil tried to get served late on but the barman said, 'sorry, thyme at the bar, please. Thyme at the bar' 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14389 Posted April 1 Author Share Posted April 1 It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub, but a 45 minute walk from the pub to my house... The difference is staggering. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14389 Posted April 1 Author Share Posted April 1 What do you call a naked bear? A bare. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 8353 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 4 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: What do you call a naked bear? A bare. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27925 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 Bear walks in to a bar and says, ” I’ll have a pint of lager and… … a half of coke. “ Barman says, ” Sure, but what’s with the big pause?” Bear says, ” I’ve had them since birth.” 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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