What's the most childish thing you've ever done in your adult life

[Dr Gloom 19743]

i kicked an empty bottle of beer in the street on a stag do in berlin in the air like a football. it came down with snow on it, smashing in the road then some local meathead walks past and lamps my friend thinking it was him that did it

Edited January 12, 2011 by Dr Gloom

[Kid Dynamite 5890]

Not sure if I've relayed this story on here before or not, but when I was in Vegas 2 of my mates went missing for the night. Turns out they went to a $75 a dance night club where you can touch. They had 3 dances each but only had $150 between them when it came to pay

 

One lad stayed while the other lad said he would go back to the hotel room to get some cash. 90minutes later and the mate still at the strip club is starting to sweat a little when the other lad finally turns back up. He was still mortal, giggling and saying he's been walking round some type of office block and it took him an hour to realise it wasn't our hotel and he's still got no money. Luckily they just got thrown out and told never to darken the clubs doorstep again!

 

They jump in a taxi outside and within 2 minutes they get pulled over by the police. Being in the pissed state they are they start to panic when a police office with a gun tells them to get out of the car! Fortunately it was the driver who was in bother as apparently his firm wasn't licensed to be picking up from strip clubs! So after a veeeeeerrrrry long walk from one end of the strip to the other they finally get back to the hotel.

 

They get to the lifts and 2 rather large African American ladies are hanging around by them. After a bit of a chat they end up back at the lads room much to the bemusement of a 3rd mate who was sharing a room with them and had gone to bed earlier in the night. They are excitedly telling him the tale of their night when all 3 of them turn around to see this fat black lady bent over the table, knickers around her ankles and bum cheeks spread when she said 'For £100 you can fuck us both'

 

Wish I could have seen their faces, needless to say 2 of them declined whilst the 3rd lad swears blind he cant remember trying to convince the other 2 to put their hands in their pockets.

[Howmanheyman 26625]

I wouldn't know where to begin but here's a daft tame one that tickled me. My mate had just been put through his driving test where he worked and he sometimes had a van at his disposal. Well me, him and another mate went for a drive a few times as it was a novelty and one night my pal slowed down in Scrogg Road next to Walker graveyard and asked an old dear if she knew where DeepThroat Avenue was. He seemed so nice and pleasant as he asked and the old girl was touched by his good manners and all, "Eee, Deepthroat Avenue, hinney? It rings a bell, pet". We were half laughing and half thinking, 'you cunt' to my pal when the old dear says, "Eee, there's our Malcolm, he might know", From nowhere King Kong's older, bigger and nastier looking brother came out of nowhere to help his Auntie give us directions. She got as far as saying "Malcolm, do you know where......." Before we did a the quickest getaway I've ever seen in my life.

[Gemmill 34187]

Not sure if I've relayed this story on here before or not, but when I was in Vegas 2 of my mates went missing for the night. Turns out they went to a $75 a dance night club where you can touch. They had 3 dances each but only had $150 between them when it came to pay

 

One lad stayed while the other lad said he would go back to the hotel room to get some cash. 90minutes later and the mate still at the strip club is starting to sweat a little when the other lad finally turns back up. He was still mortal, giggling and saying he's been walking round some type of office block and it took him an hour to realise it wasn't our hotel and he's still got no money. Luckily they just got thrown out and told never to darken the clubs doorstep again!

 

They jump in a taxi outside and within 2 minutes they get pulled over by the police. Being in the pissed state they are they start to panic when a police office with a gun tells them to get out of the car! Fortunately it was the driver who was in bother as apparently his firm wasn't licensed to be picking up from strip clubs! So after a veeeeeerrrrry long walk from one end of the strip to the other they finally get back to the hotel.

 

They get to the lifts and 2 rather large African American ladies are hanging around by them. After a bit of a chat they end up back at the lads room much to the bemusement of a 3rd mate who was sharing a room with them and had gone to bed earlier in the night. They are excitedly telling him the tale of their night when all 3 of them turn around to see this fat black lady bent over the table, knickers around her ankles and bum cheeks spread when she said 'For £100 you can fuck us both'

 

Wish I could have seen their faces, needless to say 2 of them declined whilst the 3rd lad swears blind he cant remember trying to convince the other 2 to put their hands in their pockets.

 

Some dodgy fuckers in vegas, and no mistake.

[Dr Gloom 19743]

Not sure if I've relayed this story on here before or not, but when I was in Vegas 2 of my mates went missing for the night. Turns out they went to a $75 a dance night club where you can touch. They had 3 dances each but only had $150 between them when it came to pay

 

One lad stayed while the other lad said he would go back to the hotel room to get some cash. 90minutes later and the mate still at the strip club is starting to sweat a little when the other lad finally turns back up. He was still mortal, giggling and saying he's been walking round some type of office block and it took him an hour to realise it wasn't our hotel and he's still got no money. Luckily they just got thrown out and told never to darken the clubs doorstep again!

 

They jump in a taxi outside and within 2 minutes they get pulled over by the police. Being in the pissed state they are they start to panic when a police office with a gun tells them to get out of the car! Fortunately it was the driver who was in bother as apparently his firm wasn't licensed to be picking up from strip clubs! So after a veeeeeerrrrry long walk from one end of the strip to the other they finally get back to the hotel.

 

They get to the lifts and 2 rather large African American ladies are hanging around by them. After a bit of a chat they end up back at the lads room much to the bemusement of a 3rd mate who was sharing a room with them and had gone to bed earlier in the night. They are excitedly telling him the tale of their night when all 3 of them turn around to see this fat black lady bent over the table, knickers around her ankles and bum cheeks spread when she said 'For £100 you can fuck us both'

 

Wish I could have seen their faces, needless to say 2 of them declined whilst the 3rd lad swears blind he cant remember trying to convince the other 2 to put their hands in their pockets.

 

Some dodgy fuckers in vegas, and no mistake.

 

the prossies are fucking everywhere in that town.

[Guest]

Climbed over a balcony in benidorm pissed up to fuck when I was 17, first holiday away with the lads, shimmied along to the fit lasses from Bolton balcony who were in the room next to us and returned with each of their respective pussy-moistened bikinis that had been left out, presumably to dry. We don't know if they suspected, but they moved rooms.

[shackbleep 0]

Reading the one about leaving the phone message with a different number I have been known on several occassions to change the number listed as 'Home' in peoples mobile phones to various different dodgy numbers. One lad recently got an advice line for premature ejaculation

 

Have a mate who's party trick is to go into a supermarket, stick all the pile creams, nipple creams, etc he can find into his trolley and spend his time merrily lobbing them into people's trolleys when they're not looking. His other trick is to go into a newsagents, grab a jazz mag off the top shelf and lob it inside a copy of the local paper near the top of the stack.

 

Juvenile but funny.

[Meenzer 13988]

Because we were epic musical comedians when we were 17, we wrote this song about this lass in our year. And she knew about it when it was happening and actually contributed some lyrics to it herself, but once the shit hit the fan and the song started doing the rounds she pretended to know nowt about it and let her parents kick up a stink. Anyway, long story short is we acted all apologetic and defused the situation with some flowers from Katherine's on Gosforth High Street and some carefully chosen words. And then promptly got beered up the next weekend and went to her house and took an Abbey Road-style set of photos with us all doing comedy poses outside her front door. None of them came out, which pretty much sealed the FAIL of the whole thing.

[ClubSpinDoctor 0]

Super-glued 50p to the floor in the Cornmill shopping centre in Darlo and sat with a coffee nearby watching people struggle.

[Howmanheyman 26625]

Falling asleep on my old works roof wasn't too clever at around 2AM after passing it walking back from the toon. Jumping down onto a white van then from the van to the ground to avoid a long snaking queue on the old stairway on Wembley way then realising it was a police van when I landed on the ground and being told to 'Get here now!' by one of Harry Robert's pals back up on the stairway, (Aye righto, nee bother offisher). sitting on a bus stop roof at the bottom of Shields Road in Byker at tea time on a summers day smiling and waving to the people on the top decks of the many buses that went past. In all cases.........

 

"I was very, very drunk."

[Howmanheyman 26625]

Walking around Greys Monument looking up to the sky with my pal then laughing at all the people who followed suit. Asking one of my mates on a crowded Metro if he got my note? Waiting for him to say "What note?" then louding going "Laaaaah!" before saying, "That note."