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McFaul

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I think one of the basic things when it comes to human decency is belittling people behind their back and being cruel. My story below is one of the cruelest tales you could imagine happen to a toon fan, I would've been in tears/ready to commit murder in one go. One of my flaws as a person and assets some might say is that I never ever say anything behind someones back I wouldn't say to their face. I can be confrontational because I think it's a weak human being who has something derogatory to say about someone when they're not prepared to say it to their face and even worse when it's an action you do behind someones back like me story. I can't even bring myself to slag people off when they're not there. Treat others and you'd expect to be treat yourself, which brings me on to my main point.

 

What is the slyest trick you've ever heard? Mine involves this kid I knew years ago, bit of a cock to be honest, haha I'm contravening my own little rules above a bit there, but anyway he and this other kid, a very well known local heed the baal, younger than me like were thick as thieves. They had season tickets together at the match for years, grew up together from 3 and 4 years of age. Massive toon fans even though they were both dense. Anyway 1999 FA Cup Final both had plenty points so the heed the baal sends off the application, tickets arrive not far from halfway line, happy days. Anyway the htb lost £450 in the casino this one neet, he needed the money for something. In the mean time the other lads mother became critically ill in hospital she improved but it was a shit time for him.

 

Then a few days before the cup final the htb disappeared down south with the other lads ticket. He'd only sold a £50 ticket for £380. He justified it by saying the other kid hadn't give him the £50 up front so technically it was his ticket. The other lad went to Wembley looking for him didn't find him and didn't get in the game and had to watch it on TV near the stadium. Now if that had have happened to me, I reckon I'd have done time for it, I'm not trying to sound like a hard cunt saying that am soft as shite for me size, but it is the single most cruel thing I think I've heard in a pals relationship ever. You ever heard a bigger cunts trick than that, and if so what is it?

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Biggest cunt's trick? It's between Giggs and Schwarzennegger for me, can't decide which is worse:

 

1. 8-9 year affair with brother's missus, culminating with an abortion after he got her preggers 2 weeks before the wedding.

 

2. Kindergarten Cop.

:icon_lol:

 

Personal cunts tricks man, stories you know of cos we could just say aye Harold Shipman once committed a slight cunts tricks. I mean you could say aye me parents moved to Warrington when I was born.....

 

:icon_lol:

 

by the way I've never been to Warrington so I don't if it's a nice place or not, just heard people who live say it's nee Beverley Hills.

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I can't complain about Warrington, I could have been born in Afghanistan or North Korea, there's plenty of worse places but it's just a very dull place. For a personal cunt's trick, this chick started wanking a bloke off in the same bed as me when I was asleep once. He didn't ejaculate or anything, in fact I probably overreacted massively (I did), but I was pretty upset with that at the time.

 

Woody Allen as well pulled a big one dating that baby after he brought her up with Mia Farrow. I know Happy Face sticks upfor him, but he's an absolute idiot sometimes and has incoherent conversations with Nick-ThePolish-Prick.

 

For me it's

 

1. Woody Allen

2. Schwarzennegger

3. Giggs

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Blokes cheating on their wives is pretty low. Doing it when there are kids involved is beyond the pale imo

Good morals you like J69 to say you're from Chester Le Street :icon_lol: You could be on all night listing footballers who have done that. In fact you could make a fucking cracking team.

 

Beardsley and Rooney up front, Giggs on the left wing for starters.

Edited by McFaul

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Blokes cheating on their wives is pretty low. Doing it when there are kids involved is beyond the pale imo

Good morals you like J69 to say you're from Chester Le Street :icon_lol: You could be on all night listing footballers who have done that. In fact you could make a fucking cracking team.

 

Beardsley and Rooney up front, Giggs on the left wing for starters.

 

You just reminded me, It's the wifes birthday on Saturday so a game of football first thing is probably not the best idea :icon_lol:

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Don't agree with people doing the dirty on each other when in a relationship, as J69 says, especially if theres kids involved.

 

A lad from Byker I know was knocking his best mates lass off for 5 years. The lad who was being shit on was sitting in the bar one day and got into a petty argument with some other kid to which the lad replied 'Ya daft shite ••••• has been fucking your lass for the last five years'. He asked around his so called mates and they confirmed his worst fears. I'd have been in jail now if a mate done that to me and I'd have kicked her in the fanny so hard, anal or oral would be her only option for the rest of her life.

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Don't agree with people doing the dirty on each other when in a relationship, as J69 says, especially if theres kids involved.

 

A lad from Byker I know was knocking his best mates lass off for 5 years. The lad who was being shit on was sitting in the bar one day and got into a petty argument with some other kid to which the lad replied 'Ya daft shite ••••• has been fucking your lass for the last five years'. He asked around his so called mates and they confirmed his worst fears. I'd have been in jail now if a mate done that to me and I'd have kicked her in the fanny so hard, anal or oral would be her only option for the rest of her life.

I think his pals are nearly as guilty as the bloke who's been shaggin his lass. Fancy letting your mate be totally humiliated like that for 5 years. They've always seemed proper radgies in Jackson's, The Raby and that one with the pool table like.

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This is a genuine story that happened to a bloke at work a few months back.

 

The lad is about 28 now and has been with his girlfriend since school. They have a beautiful little 3 year old girl. Anyway, he recently suspected she was cheating on him so being an IT geek he tapped her computer. Unforunately his suspicions were correct and he confronted her. They had a blazing row and in this she told him he wasnt the father. He then got the DNA tests done and turns out he WASNT the father. Gutted for the bloke. He tried to kill himself soon after (not sure if it was just a cry for help).

 

Imagine having to tell all your relatives and mates etc that its not yours. And do you just cut ties with the baby now? Heartbreaking stuff.

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Blokes cheating on their wives is pretty low. Doing it when there are kids involved is beyond the pale imo

 

Works both ways that. I know plenty of girls (if not more) that have cheated on their boyfriends.

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This is a genuine story that happened to a bloke at work a few months back.

 

The lad is about 28 now and has been with his girlfriend since school. They have a beautiful little 3 year old girl. Anyway, he recently suspected she was cheating on him so being an IT geek he tapped her computer. Unforunately his suspicions were correct and he confronted her. They had a blazing row and in this she told him he wasnt the father. He then got the DNA tests done and turns out he WASNT the father. Gutted for the bloke. He tried to kill himself soon after (not sure if it was just a cry for help).

 

Imagine having to tell all your relatives and mates etc that its not yours. And do you just cut ties with the baby now? Heartbreaking stuff.

What's the latest now then? Shocking stuff. That story and the one Wacky told, you'd want to do a Derrick Bird wouldn't you?? Well maybe not, but you can see how that type of situation would get out of hand.

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Guest alex

Apart from being such a low thing to do, I can't believe how many people shit on their own doorstep, i.e. going with brothers/sisters-in-law etc.

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Was there CCTV or did Chez follow the piss trail back to Neil btw? I cant remember that bit of the story, but I thought I heard mention of CCTV at one time. Possibly Chez's ruse to get a confession like.

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Guest alex

It was his mate's place of work where he has a recording studio. It's an office block used by other companies. Bluff off N-O was going home or to his hotel or whatever and he got lost trying to get out. He stumbled into another office where this big cheese from GNER I think was working late. The bloke got security to check the CCTV footage on the back of that and that's where PL's performance comes in.

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Btw Holden and Wacky's stories there are fucking horrible. Holden's particularly given the kid involved. You'd just be devo'd. I know cheating goes on and thats bad enough like but when people string it out for years and just let someone else live a lie it's a disgrace. Dont know how they can consider themselves to be in any way a good person. You can only hope theres better relationships out there for both of those lads and that one day they'll be able to say 'thank fuck for that'. How that works with a three year old child though I've got no idea. Perhaps he should sue her for all the maintenance he's paid and see how funny she thinks it is then.

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It was his mate's place of work where he has a recording studio. It's an office block used by other companies. Bluff off N-O was going home or to his hotel or whatever and he got lost trying to get out. He stumbled into another office where this big cheese from GNER I think was working late. The bloke got security to check the CCTV footage on the back of that and that's where PL's performance comes in.

 

:icon_lol:

 

Fucking brilliant. Coming out of him like a yellow cable as well no doubt, it's always an extra long one when you've been on the sauce.

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What's the latest now then? Shocking stuff. That story and the one Wacky told, you'd want to do a Derrick Bird wouldn't you?? Well maybe not, but you can see how that type of situation would get out of hand.

 

Not sure how it panned out. I'll find out. If that happened to me I genuinely dont know what I'd do. Low of the low.

Edited by Holden McGroin

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Guest alex
It was his mate's place of work where he has a recording studio. It's an office block used by other companies. Bluff off N-O was going home or to his hotel or whatever and he got lost trying to get out. He stumbled into another office where this big cheese from GNER I think was working late. The bloke got security to check the CCTV footage on the back of that and that's where PL's performance comes in.

 

:icon_lol:

 

Fucking brilliant. Coming out of him like a yellow cable as well no doubt, it's always an extra long one when you've been on the sauce.

It was in a corridor right next to the bogs as well which is why Adam and his mate were particularly pissed off, if you'll pardon the pun.

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