The Seven Creatures of the Transfer Window: which one are you?

[carrolll40th 0]

By Annie Eaves

Published 10:00 22/06/11

 

 

 

Ah, the summer transfer window: three balmy, barmy months in which normally sane football fans go doo-lally at the merest drop of a rumour.

 

But which Creature of the Transfer Window are you?

 

1) The Eternal Optimist

Don’t worry about a thing, ‘cos every seemingly ridiculous signing will be alright. Sold your best striker and replaced him with a dud from the second tier of French football? Eh, it can be hard to score goals in that division, English football will suit him. The Eternal Optimist will spin everything so that it makes perfect sense.

 

Natural Habitat: A Betting Shop

Most likely to say: “The manager knows what he’s doing.”

Least likely to say: “We’ve signed WHO?”

 

 

2) The Football Manager Addict

Never heard of a player and have no idea how he’d fit in at your club? Just find the Football Manager Addict. They’ll be able to give you a rundown of his strengths, weaknesses, positional ability, shot strength, attitude, sell-on value and how good they’ll be in five years. Who needs to actually watch football anyway!?

 

Natural Habitat: University Halls of Residence

Most likely to say: “I know it’s not real BUT...”

Least likely to say: “I’ve renewed my season ticket.”

 

3) The Apathetic

Jaded by years of transfer windows these people have seen it all. Cynical about any link with a player they take everything with a tonne of salt. Always ready to hose down your excitement about the possibility of a signing, frustratingly they’re correct more often than not.

 

Natural Habitat: On a Higher Plane

Most likely to say: ‘There’s no point speculating until he’s pictured with the shirt on.’

Least likely to say: “The deal is almost done, I read it on Twitter.”

 

4) The Committed Pessimist

It’s all going wrong. It is. Perhaps they predicted doom wrongly last year but this time they really mean it. The club is going the wrong way. A slippery slope to nowhere. So you’ve just signed a world class player? Pah, what’s world class these days? He could get injured on the first day of the season and then what? A new keeper, two defenders, a midfielder or three, and a top class striker are essential to avoid the fate they are predicting – and even then it will be a close run thing.

 

Natural Habitat: Football Forums

Most likely to say: “I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist.”

Least likely to say: “We’re looking good for next season.”

 

5) The In-The-Know

This creature literally thrives at this time of year and is lesser spotted outside of it. They won’t reveal why they know what they know but they’ll tell you that they know it. They just know y’know. They know what you don’t know but would like to know yet they never know anything that would be boring to know as that wouldn’t be worth them knowing. Now you know.

 

Natural Habitat: In the Pub or on Twitter

Most likely to say: “Just trust me.”

Least likely to say: “I’ve no idea.”

 

6) The Wind-up Merchant

Of course your best player wants to leave, you’re a small club. Last season was your peak and so next season will be your trough. Its better you accept it now. You’re a selling club. Not in the market for best players. Basically find the most controversial angle on any subject and the Wind Up Merchant will take it to a new level.

 

Natural Habitat: On the payroll at TalkSPORT

Most likely to say: “If you disagree, you know how to get in touch.”

Least likely to say: “I could be wrong as it’s just my opinion after all.”

 

7) The Sufferer of Premature Elation

A lack of football can lead to a certain level of delirium for these people. Just the slightest rumour can result in them proposing formations for next season to suit the player's strengths, making up chants, and contacting the club shop to see what number shirt the player will be wearing.

 

Natural Habitat: Pacing Any Room Repeatedly

Most likely to say: "Where should I get the tattoo?"

Least likely to say: "It'll never happen."

 

 

 

Read more: http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/opinion/co...l#ixzz1Q0P1s700

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[carrolll40th 0]

CT does number 7 ring any bells?

[LeazesMag 0]

CT does number 7 ring any bells?

 

I'd say he is more number 1.

 

Deano is number 7

[The Fish 198]

CT does number 7 ring any bells?

 

I'd say he is more number 1.

 

Deano is number 7

You realise you're number 4, right?

[carrolll40th 0]

CT does number 7 ring any bells?

 

I'd say he is more number 1.

 

Deano is number 7

CT is number 7, he suffers from Premature ejaculation. he seems to me as the one that gets the most excited when a player is linked.

 

in general most people are number 1 or 3

[Christmas Tree 76]

CT does number 7 ring any bells?

 

1 and 7, guilty as charged.

[Christmas Tree 76]

CT does number 7 ring any bells?

 

I'd say he is more number 1.

 

Deano is number 7

CT is number 7, he suffers from Premature ejaculation. he seems to me as the one that gets the most excited when a player is linked.

 

in general most people are number 1 or 3

 

 

I do, however being an optimist as well means I dont get down hearted if they dont come off as there will be a bigger better signing just around the next corner.

[carrolll40th 0]

CT does number 7 ring any bells?

 

I'd say he is more number 1.

 

Deano is number 7

CT is number 7, he suffers from Premature ejaculation. he seems to me as the one that gets the most excited when a player is linked.

 

in general most people are number 1 or 3

 

 

I do, however being an optimist as well means I dont get down hearted if they dont come off as there will be a bigger better signing just around the next corner.

[Dr Gloom 404]

I guess I'm somewhere between apathetic and pessimistic with this lot in charge

[LeazesMag 0]

CT does number 7 ring any bells?

 

I'd say he is more number 1.

 

Deano is number 7

You realise you're number 4, right?

 

with parts of number 6.....

 

Can't place you mind

[AgentAxeman 0]

no.3

 

needs a poll.

[The Fish 198]

CT does number 7 ring any bells?

 

I'd say he is more number 1.

 

Deano is number 7

You realise you're number 4, right?

 

with parts of number 6.....

 

Can't place you mind

I'm quite clearly #3

[Tom 197]

Four and six for me under Ashley - although I do think we've signed some good players so far I'm not looking forward to the deadline day outgoings because of offers to good to turn down.

 

Fees like £2.75m and £1.2m and £20m for Tiote, and 50p & a kit kat for James Perch, etc etc.

[LeazesMag 0]

Four and six for me under Ashley - although I do think we've signed some good players so far I'm not looking forward to the deadline day outgoings because of offers to good to turn down.

 

Fees like £2.75m and £1.2m and £20m for Tiote, and 50p & a kit kat for James Perch, etc etc.

 

aye, or "too late to replace"

[philippealbert 0]

I'd be a number 2 but I tend to keep the FM scouting to myself rather than spout about a player to others based on it.

 

otherwise I don't really know, with this board I'm pretty much always worried that someone essential is going to leave in any window but the start we seem to have made this time around is encouraging, Im a wait and see...I dunno

[sammynb 36]

Four and six for me under Ashley - although I do think we've signed some good players so far I'm not looking forward to the deadline day outgoings because of offers to good to turn down.

 

Fees like £2.75m and £1.2m and £20m for Tiote, and 50p & a kit kat for James Perch, etc etc.

 

Like Tom, I only go to 11.

[harrynufc 0]

i think shes missed one.

8) The drifter = Cynic one day, optimist the next. Influenced by others and constantly drifting between the above.

[peasepud 0]

3) The Apathetic

Jaded by years of transfer windows these people have seen it all. Cynical about any link with a player they take everything with a tonne of salt. Always ready to hose down your excitement about the possibility of a signing, frustratingly they’re correct more often than not.

 

Natural Habitat: On a Higher Plane

Most likely to say: ‘There’s no point speculating until he’s pictured with the shirt on.’

Least likely to say: “The deal is almost done, I read it on Twitter.”

[dbsweeney 0]

I guess I'm 4 ... my wife would most certainly count me as 4.

[McFaul 14]

Number 7 for years, most definitely number 3 now.

[Roy Aitken's Debut 0]

i think shes missed one.

8) The drifter = Cynic one day, optimist the next. Influenced by others and constantly drifting between the above.

I think I am a bit like that, the Toon make me bipolar when they tease us with promising signings or an upturn in form only to lose to a Blackburn or a Stoke. The reverse is true of course, the Arsenal game being the best example. All part and parcel of the rollercoaster that is NUFC I suppose...

[StoneColdStephenIreland 74]

Definitely 3/4