Work wankers

[TheGingerQuiff 2412]

Wait until I tell the polish lads at work

[Monkeys Fist 38588]

2 hours ago, Tom said:

I once seen his standup and that was bad enough. 

I feel your pain. 

[Dougle 2852]

On 14/09/2011 at 22:28, DanTheMan said:

The SMB used to have a thread called 'Billy Bullshit' all about workplace liars- can't find the original but this was the continuation http://www.readytogo.net/smb/showthread.ph...=billy+bullshit

 

What I loved about it was how mundane most of it was- one bloke claimed to be related to the guy who invented Marrowfat peas until he was called out on it. My favourite was a bloke who said that one time he was working on a building site carrying a massive bit of wood over his head, when a gale blew and picked him up in the air. He said he landed in a field 2 miles away then got docked wages by his boss once he arrived back for skiving

 

Also:

 

 

This post man. Fucking classic.

 

The ants bit isnt on that quote so go back and read it

Edited May 18, 2021 by Dougle
Edited for pure Antness

[Blastronaut 1231]

I've had about 30 jobs and somehow had mostly decent colleagues. That's probably a lot to do with the fact most of my bosses were absolutely batshit mental. 

 

Bosses aside I can only think of a chef I worked beside. One of those weird cunts who constantly boasts about weird shit like how many cruises he's been on and how miles to the gallon he gets in his car. Last time I bumped into him his dog basically jammed it's nose up the arse of some random passer by while we were standing chatting.

 

Poor woman literally shrieked and jumped into the air then looked at the dog and said something like "aw. could you smell my Daisy-May?" and casually walked off. 

 

Still to this day don't know whether Daisy-May is her own dogs name or a weird pet name for her vagina.

 

 

Edited May 18, 2021 by Blastronaut

[Monkeys Fist 38588]

On 14/09/2011 at 23:37, The Fish said:

by the way, if you're thinking, "it's weird, there isn't a work wanker at my job", it's you.

 

45 minutes ago, Blastronaut said:

I've had about 30 jobs and somehow had mostly decent colleagues.

 

[Blastronaut 1231]

That thought has crossed my mind a few times like.

 

[TheGingerQuiff 2412]

I wonder who's picked up the torch at Renton's old place

[Blastronaut 1231]

Hey, ive made a lot of good friends from all those jobs. I cant speak for them but I'm pretty confident they'd both agree I'm actually not that much of a wanker.

Edited May 18, 2021 by Blastronaut

[Tom 13817]

“Yeh it’s a nice car but you could have got the parts  & built it yourself cheaper”