wykikitoon 16492 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 I wish cunts would stop posting shite like 'Platty Joobs' FUCK OFF YOU CUNTS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38556 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 I’ve spent the PLATTY JOOBS planning and getting started on revamping my back garden. This will entail me demolishing and rebuilding a brick wall, putting a gate in said wall, making a raised area with railway sleepers, making a wooden frame for a gazebo type affair, laying some turf. Beer. #PLATTYJOOBS #BITEMEWYKIKI! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 3 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: I’ve spent the PLATTY JOOBS planning and getting started on revamping my back garden. This will entail me demolishing and rebuilding a brick wall, putting a gate in said wall, making a raised area with railway sleepers, making a wooden frame for a gazebo type affair, laying some turf. Beer. #PLATTYJOOBS #BITEMEWYKIKI! Donr forget the sofas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13806 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 3 hours ago, wykikitoon said: I wish cunts would stop posting shite like 'Platty Joobs' FUCK OFF YOU CUNTS 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6287 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 Mica Paris clearly thought it was a Tarts & Vicars party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19735 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6287 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawb 3652 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 All the flag shaggers on our road have applied to close it for the afternoon for a street party, been getting updates posted through the door so feel obliged to show my face for at least a bit. What do you take to a fucking street party? I’m hoping some ropey wine we were given will suffice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19735 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 9 minutes ago, strawb said: All the flag shaggers on our road have applied to close it for the afternoon for a street party, been getting updates posted through the door so feel obliged to show my face for at least a bit. What do you take to a fucking street party? I’m hoping some ropey wine we were given will suffice Fuck the forced jollity - sounds like a good opportunity to batten down the hatches Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13806 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 Just take some Polish cans and multipack crisps and bring the tone right down. First of all eat all their food and then start going on about how the Duchess of Cambridge is a bit of a tart and you reckon she’s proper filth. Then ask why Andrew isn’t there and say it’s nothing nothing to do with Covid and Liz should kill him like she did Diana. (Who was also filth) Then you won’t get invited back. Or at least I’m not expecting an invite. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34166 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 I'd wait til it started and there was a decent crowd outside my front room and shut the curtains on the lot of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30239 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 Take some bong 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16492 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 Instead of all the money spunked on a 'party' for the non attending benefit scrounger, it would have been better to let people have a proper bank holiday. I.e close the fucking shops and let people have time with their families instead of making money for Tory loving boss cunts 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 3960 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 41 minutes ago, strawb said: All the flag shaggers on our road have applied to close it for the afternoon for a street party, been getting updates posted through the door so feel obliged to show my face for at least a bit. What do you take to a fucking street party? I’m hoping some ropey wine we were given will suffice They're having one on mine but it's a twisty cul de sac and I have an escape route. I got my hair cut the other week and the barber lives on the same street but on a different section and she asked me if I was going. I kept it polite and said no, as I'm not exactly a royalist to which she replied she despises them all but was going as she has kids. We then got on to her firm belief that they had Diana murdered :). Even passing the closed off bit and seeing the bunting nearly made me vomit when I went out earlier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawb 3652 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 It’s not too bad here tbh, mainly people with kids. I’ve lived here 2 years and know precisely one neighbours name so I might as well make the effort. I walked to the Tesco and got a selection of cheap beige shit, so they can like it or fuck off 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26605 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 Strawb could simply have said something along the lines of 'I'd rather slide down a giant razer blade on my japs eye then celebrate anything to do with a family born into absolute privilege who get lorded by the same people and their voters who would quite happily plunge the likes of us into abject poverty without giving it a seconds thought' or words to that effect. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26605 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 Strawb in a couple of hours after getting back from Tesco....... 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawb 3652 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 That’s an hour and half of my life I won’t get back 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawb 3652 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 On a positive note Jimmy Cricket was there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 6766 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 14 minutes ago, strawb said: On a positive note Jimmy Cricket was there Fuck off Pinocchio 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16492 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 This is STILL fucking going on? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13806 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 Nobody is forcing you to watch the P-Jizzle mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 14527 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 Got back from the in laws about 4 pm just in time to see some of the neighbours huddled beneath a couple of shitty Homebase pagodas during a glorious early summer monsoon, outside the home of a couple of rug munchers who last year parked a couple of cars in front of our house for a fortnight when they were selling them. The new people from the rental house across the road from us were there, she’s at least 25 stone, he’s got facial tattoos. Couldn’t see the woman from next door to us, the one who has been sending us letters of complaint about the noise our ferocious devil-like blood curdling fuckin cockapoo makes, in a similar vein to every single shitty passive aggressive conversation we’ve had with her in the seven years we’ve been here, where everything we say to her is immediately run through her sad, lonely mind, which she then verbalises so we understand immediately how this thing we’ve mentioned will affect her; “YOU’VE GOT A DOG? I HAVENT HEARD IT”, but she’d have undoubtedly been there, these social fuckin outcasts are precisely her people.…..anyway, as you can imagine, we’ve had our mortagage offer through and the survey on our new home is being done next week, we’ll probably be gone by the end of July, thank fuckin Christ If these are the local Royalists then those Scotch/German parasites up in London are in real fuckin trouble… I hope they all got fuckin soaked …. (The lad on the other side pulled up in his T5 just after us, he’s great , so is his senior nurse practitioner missus who has worked 12 hour nights at Poole Hospital throughout the pandemic. He dived straight into his house too, no sign of the two lasses from directly opposite either, one has just turned 50 and told us she was going out Thursday/Friday/Saturday with a succession of increasingly unsuitable men, one of whom plainly bats for the other side…she seems happy enough though, she’s likely just getting up…the other girl is similar age but far more reserved in the nicest way, she completely belies the title of the old song “I’ve never met a nice South African” she’s lovely ,as were the couple who lived there till this time last year, who are the only neighbours I’ve ever had who I was disappointed to see move, but they’re not far away and we’ve been out for outlandishly expensive Sunday lunches with them on a fairly regular basis . l add this just in case you think we actually live in some sort of south coast outpost of the third circle of hell ) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38556 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 I did not know PaddockLad lived on a Soap opera set Are you the grumpy old cunt with a heart of gold/stone character? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16492 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 54 minutes ago, Tom said: Nobody is forcing you to watch the P-Jizzle mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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