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Appreciate genuine thoughts from folks. Here's the scenario.

 

Your in a relationship and it's been going well for about a year, maybe longer. You work in the same dept as your partner who is of a senior grade. You have been invited for interview for the same grade (on promotion). Now, competion is fierce. There were 196 applicants for 6 jobs across 4 regions so there might only be 1 or 2 posts in Newcastle. The shortlist of candidates of which i am one is 30 in total but you understand that your real competion is working in the same room/dept as you but that's not a problem.

 

Here's the crunch. Your partner, despite you having an interview next week and whilst she really wants/needs you to get this job for all of the benefits of extra money, moving in, etc, etc has arranged to help someone who is in DIRECT competion with you for one of the posts. When i say 'help' has spent an hour going through a mock interview and another hour telling him exactly what the panel are looking for in interview (we know the questions before we go in).

 

Your partner hasn't told you that they had arranged this.

 

This person is competion. Have i lost the plot here? I can't even return her calls. I literally feel a little betrayed. What if he gets the job by 1 point as a result of her help and i miss out? What then? I expected her to say to him 'sorry, my partner is in for the same job and i really want him to get it, there's a conflict of interest, hope you understand but good luck'.

 

Have i got that wrong? The majority, in fact i think all have said 'what the f*ck'? Why has she done that? Why would you do that? Surely you protect your partners interests? What if he gets the job and i don't? What then? I say to her 'oh well done for helping geting that fella the job, shame i missed out and i still can't afford to move in, share bills and a lot of other things that restrain the ability to move in.

 

I super f*cked-off here. Worst i have been in a long long time but worry i've blown this out of proportion but it's really battered my head. Not for a minute to a think anything is 'going on' either. Is this just mis-placed loyalty. I can't even concentrate on preparing for my interview, i'm so f*cked-off that she's done this.

 

I just can't get my head around it.

 

Appreciate thoughts.

JJC

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You've got it wrong. The conflict of interest is with you. She has to be whiter than white in not hindering anyone else to your benefit.

 

She should have referred to the fact that she is in a relationship with one of his direct competitors to the job and assigned someone else to help him. That would have been the right way to do it.

 

Helping him tailor an application to mimic excactly what they were looking for would make my piss boil.

The fact that she didnt tell you about it either makes everything even worse.

Edited by Lake Bells tits
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It's her job to help the other people including you as a senior grade.

 

It'd be a kin to favouritism otherwise , was same in our place for recent boards and was 6 of us in same room going for posts , ya knew who they wanted/thought was useless but everyone got the same help

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Have any of those saying he should be pissed off worked in the corporate environment? Doesn't sound like you've sat through any of the painful mandatory online training that gets sent out.

 

We get "ethical moments" videos with acting so bad i feel like I'm watching a porn. It's all shite like this.

 

Only thing to piss you off is if she hadn't told you, but then she was probably worried you'd react like this, which is ott.

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She doessn't ahve to be whiter than white though. There another 20-30 of her grade who he has worked with who could have helped. She was not obliged to help. That's the point. She just 'knows' him through work they did together years ago so he approached her as a 'friend'. It's all bull-shit as far as i'm concerned.

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In the interview he's asked how he prepared. He mentions he asked a senior manager for help but got none so he is a little under prepared. They ask why the refusal and he mentions it's cos she's going out with you...or even if she didn't use that as a reason, the interviewers follow it up to see why. Total can of worms.

 

It would be a daft request to have refused.

 

Conversley, she can't help you because of the conflict of interest.

 

The only reason to be angry is if you've let yourself down by being less prepared for the interview than he is.

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Putting the ethical bullshit aside, you have every right to be pissed off. She could have explained the situation to him and referred him to someone equally capable of helping him.

 

Then again, maybe she's using this as an opportunity to feed him mis-information? ;)

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Have any of those saying he should be pissed off worked in the corporate environment? Doesn't sound like you've sat through any of the painful mandatory online training that gets sent out.

 

We get "ethical moments" videos with acting so bad i feel like I'm watching a porn. It's all shite like this.

 

And anyone who has sat through that training knows that it's a million miles away from the reality of working for a large corporation.

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In the interview he's asked how he prepared. He mentions he asked a senior manager for help but got none so he is a little under prepared. They ask why the refusal and he mentions it's cos she's going out with you...or even if she didn't use that as a reason, the interviewers follow it up to see why. Total can of worms.

 

It would be a daft request to have refused.

 

Conversley, she can't help you because of the conflict of interest.

 

The only reason to be angry is if you've let yourself down by being less prepared for the interview than he is.

 

Spot on tbh

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He seems to have made it clear that she wasn't in any way obliged to help this bloke out. He doesn't even work for the same organisation.

 

In which case he's more than entitled to feel aggrieved. It's a baffling decision by her given the circumstances.

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He seems to have made it clear that she wasn't in any way obliged to help this bloke out. He doesn't even work for the same organisation.

 

In which case he's more than entitled to feel aggrieved. It's a baffling decision by her given the circumstances.

 

Someone else who doesn't understand the "whiter than white" concept.

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Someone else who doesn't understand the "whiter than white" concept.

 

If someone external to my organisation asks me to provide them with detailed help to give them a leg up in an interview process, I am absolutely not obliged to say "yes". I am certainly not obliged to give them a mock interview and a detailed coaching session on what answers the panel are looking for.

 

Appearing whiter than white is not an issue, and I don't have any problem understanding it (you condescending prick), it just doesn't apply in this instance.

 

She could very easily have said a straight no, or if she wanted to soften the blow, said that she was snowed under with work and didn't have the time. If she has the depth of knowledge of the interview process that she apparently does have, she shouldn't have been providing info to ANYONE. And that includes misguided attempts to overcompensate for a perceived conflict of interest by spilling on the whole process to one candidate.

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If someone external to my organisation asks me to provide them with detailed help to give them a leg up in an interview process, I am absolutely not obliged to say "yes". I am certainly not obliged to give them a mock interview and a detailed coaching session on what answers the panel are looking for.

 

Appearing whiter than white is not an issue, and I don't have any problem understanding it (you condescending prick), it just doesn't apply in this instance.

 

She could very easily have said a straight no, or if she wanted to soften the blow, said that she was snowed under with work and didn't have the time. If she has the depth of knowledge of the interview process that she apparently does have, she shouldn't have been providing info to ANYONE. And that includes misguided attempts to overcompensate for a perceived conflict of interest by spilling on the whole process to one candidate.

 

It does, see HF's earlier post which I quoted/agreed with.

 

It's nowt to do with obligation either, if you'd previously worked with someone and they asked for help/advice, would you say a straight "no" ?? I wouldn't, and I absolutely wouldn't say no if I had a relationship with someone involved in the same process, becasue that "no" could look like a conflict of interest as it could be seen as unusual.

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I've seen his post. It's a ludicrous exchange that he's imagined. Have you ever been in an interview where they've started it by asking how well prepared you are? And would you respond with "Terribly." Oh why's that then? "Cos that senior manager wouldn't give me all the answers in advance."

 

And then you try to grass on her and say it was cos she was going out with someone. :lol:

 

You might as well end the interview right there cos you aren't getting the job because you're coming across terribly. And she is not getting in trouble cos she is under zero obligation to provide assistance to ANY candidate.

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I've seen his post. It's a ludicrous exchange that he's imagined. Have you ever been in an interview where they've started it by asking how well prepared you are? And would you respond with "Terribly." Oh why's that then? "Cos that senior manager wouldn't give me all the answers in advance."

 

And then you try to grass on her and say it was cos she was going out with someone. :lol:

 

You might as well end the interview right there cos you aren't getting the job because you're coming across terribly. And she is not getting in trouble cos she is under zero obligation to provide assistance to ANY candidate.

 

I've been asked what research I've done prior to interviews several times. The answer could very well be that he had struggled to get information from senior management despite asking, so had to go through other avenues.

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