Gemmill 34166 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 I maintain that he had every reason to be annoyed. I also reckon you're just playing devil's advocate, and leaving Toonpack high and dry in the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 I don't think any of us can really know enough to be certain of anything from JJS's brief outline tbh, but whatever the rights and wrongs it wouldn't do him any good at all to be stewing on the situation, he should be concentrating on the interview. I think what he needed was a few people to tell him not to overreact and to keep his eyes on the prize. Instead he's got a load of people telling him he's right to be wallowing in pity because someone else has got the help he should have pursued himself, that his priority is to smack that bitch up. Either way I'd leave it until the interviews were done and the job awarded before starting the post mortem. She could have been telling this bloke the wrong answers...."When you're asked what your greatest fault is, tell them you hit women " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34166 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 What he needs to do is eliminate the competition. Anyone can see that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sniffer 0 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 If this relationship was going well, I'd hate to see one that was going bad. My money is on the fact she's already splitting the sheets with the opposition or fully intends to do so. Either way, if you don't get the job, this relationship is doomed. I'd also say that, if she is any way involved in the interview process and is favouring one candidate, you've got a solid complaint to HR. Especially if he gets the position. Unless of course you are in her direct reporting structure, which is a no-no in most companies, and you were doing it on the QT. Thats also an HR issue because of situations like this and complicates matters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26601 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 Maybe she's happier wearing the troosers in the relationship? Don't forget to put her tea on, by the way, she's had a hard day. (Or just concentrate on what you need to do to get the job. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 6766 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 I've seen his post. It's a ludicrous exchange that he's imagined. Have you ever been in an interview where they've started it by asking how well prepared you are? And would you respond with "Terribly." Oh why's that then? "Cos that senior manager wouldn't give me all the answers in advance." And then you try to grass on her and say it was cos she was going out with someone. You might as well end the interview right there cos you aren't getting the job because you're coming across terribly. And she is not getting in trouble cos she is under zero obligation to provide assistance to ANY candidate. The point is, if you had previously worked with someone and they asked for advice, what would be more unusual, saying OK, or saying no (particularly if you'd had a reasonable working relationship previously, which I assume is the case as why'd you ask someone you didn't get on with). It's nowt to do with obligation, it's about what would be normal/abnormal for you. In her position, given the obvious conflict of interest that exists, saying yes is a far more "normal" response than saying no. Given the OP's emotional reaction, he's patently not suited to senior management anyway and should be fired IMO, never mind promoted, as should his girlfriend given she's going out with someone so unstable, good job we don't have guns he'd be blowing the office away within a few weeks at this rate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 Thinking back to some of JJCs classic posts from years back you could be right there like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34166 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 It's nowt to do with obligation, it's about what would be normal/abnormal for you. In her position, given the obvious conflict of interest that exists, saying yes is a far more "normal" response than saying no. No it isn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sniffer 0 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 Politely declining is the obvious response to anybody with half a brain. Providing she has no ulterior motives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 Appreciate genuine thoughts from folks. Here's the scenario. Your in a relationship and it's been going well for about a year, maybe longer. You work in the same dept as your partner who is of a senior grade. You have been invited for interview for the same grade (on promotion). Now, competion is fierce. There were 196 applicants for 6 jobs across 4 regions so there might only be 1 or 2 posts in Newcastle. The shortlist of candidates of which i am one is 30 in total but you understand that your real competion is working in the same room/dept as you but that's not a problem. Here's the crunch. Your partner, despite you having an interview next week and whilst she really wants/needs you to get this job for all of the benefits of extra money, moving in, etc, etc has arranged to help someone who is in DIRECT competion with you for one of the posts. When i say 'help' has spent an hour going through a mock interview and another hour telling him exactly what the panel are looking for in interview (we know the questions before we go in). Your partner hasn't told you that they had arranged this. This person is competion. Have i lost the plot here? I can't even return her calls. I literally feel a little betrayed. What if he gets the job by 1 point as a result of her help and i miss out? What then? I expected her to say to him 'sorry, my partner is in for the same job and i really want him to get it, there's a conflict of interest, hope you understand but good luck'. Have i got that wrong? The majority, in fact i think all have said 'what the f*ck'? Why has she done that? Why would you do that? Surely you protect your partners interests? What if he gets the job and i don't? What then? I say to her 'oh well done for helping geting that fella the job, shame i missed out and i still can't afford to move in, share bills and a lot of other things that restrain the ability to move in. I super f*cked-off here. Worst i have been in a long long time but worry i've blown this out of proportion but it's really battered my head. Not for a minute to a think anything is 'going on' either. Is this just mis-placed loyalty. I can't even concentrate on preparing for my interview, i'm so f*cked-off that she's done this. I just can't get my head around it. Appreciate thoughts. JJC Deserves a slap in the minge. It sounds so ridiculous it seems almost far fetched. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 Bigger cock? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monroe Transfer 0 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 I thought Jay Jay had a wife of many decades who'd have scat related sexual intercourse with him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38544 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 She dumped him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 The point is, if you had previously worked with someone and they asked for advice, what would be more unusual, saying OK, or saying no (particularly if you'd had a reasonable working relationship previously, which I assume is the case as why'd you ask someone you didn't get on with). It's nowt to do with obligation, it's about what would be normal/abnormal for you. In her position, given the obvious conflict of interest that exists, saying yes is a far more "normal" response than saying no. Given the OP's emotional reaction, he's patently not suited to senior management anyway and should be fired IMO, never mind promoted, as should his girlfriend given she's going out with someone so unstable, good job we don't have guns he'd be blowing the office away within a few weeks at this rate. Calm down there Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 2929 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 She dumped ON him. FYP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5881 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 I've seen his post. It's a ludicrous exchange that he's imagined. Have you ever been in an interview where they've started it by asking how well prepared you are? And would you respond with "Terribly." Oh why's that then? "Cos that senior manager wouldn't give me all the answers in advance." And then you try to grass on her and say it was cos she was going out with someone. You might as well end the interview right there cos you aren't getting the job because you're coming across terribly. And she is not getting in trouble cos she is under zero obligation to provide assistance to ANY candidate. Every interview Ive ever had in the NHS starts by asking what preparation I have done tbf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34166 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 I've never been asked that at interview. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17597 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 I've never been asked that at interview. Me neither (including NHS). What an utterly shit pointless question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34166 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 (edited) I think the subtext in J69's case is probably "How can you not know that this is a girl's job?" Edited November 17, 2012 by Gemmill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 Sounds like she was just helping out a friend who asked for her advice, and she was too stupid or uncaring to realise the consequences this could have. The other bloke is a bit of a cunt for asking her tbh (assuming he knows of her relationship with JJC and his desire for the job, using their friendship to put pressure on her to compromise her loyalty. HF is completely wrong, including his amateur psychoanalysis on what JJC 'needs'. What he actually needs is people to sympathise with him as he vents his spleen, so he can get on with preparing without this clouding over him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5881 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 Me neither (including NHS). What an utterly shit pointless question. Not really. It's expected these days to get in touch with the interview panel prior to interview and ask them what they are looking for in a candidate etc. I understand that a lot of the office dwelling dullards on here probably aren't expected to show a smidgen of initiative in preparing for an interview however Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34166 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 Check out House. I'd much rather be wiping mental people's arses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 "how did you prepare for this interview?" sounds like something you'd ask someone who looked completely unprepared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17597 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 Not really. It's expected these days to get in touch with the interview panel prior to interview and ask them what they are looking for in a candidate etc. I understand that a lot of the office dwelling dullards on here probably aren't expected to show a smidgen of initiative in preparing for an interview however I can pretty much guarantee my 'office dwelling dullard' job is more interesting than your girly nurse job. Job interviews in my field usually involve a carefully prepared presentation and an absolute grilling afterwards. Of course you would have been in contact with one of the interview panel prior to this; just to check there is any point in applying and that the effort isn't wasted. The idea they would ask you about preparation is ridiculous because it is completely redundant; how well you have prepared will be obvious in the interview. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5881 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 I can pretty much guarantee my 'office dwelling dullard' job is more interesting than your girly nurse job. Job interviews in my field usually involve a carefully prepared presentation and an absolute grilling afterwards. Of course you would have been in contact with one of the interview panel prior to this; just to check there is any point in applying and that the effort isn't wasted. The idea they would ask you about preparation is ridiculous because it is completely redundant; how well you have prepared will be obvious in the interview. So has anyone on here got any idea what I do? I wear a suit to work for starters. Sorry to shatter the illusion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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