Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Boris for PM, could you imagine it ;)

 

wish he was on have i got news for you again

 

 

You laugh, but thats his long term goal and I would certainly not bet against him.

 

He plays the buffoon very well but is also a very clever bloke and is well liked by a wide range of people.

 

And you think the British public would accept a buffoon as PM? I hope not.

 

Last time he was on QT he was embarassing, struggled to make any sense at all, like he was drunk or something.

 

You seem to forget the good people of London voted him in.

 

Whether or not his own party would make him leader is a different question all together. If they did I would say he would get voted in. You should watch that programme I referred too. As well as being an eye opener it was quite entertaining.

 

 

I wouldn't trust Boris to operate a mop, let alone a £10 bn Crossrail project

Charlie Brooker, Monday 14 April 2008

 

A few years back, during the run-up to the Nathan Barley TV series, my co-author Chris Morris and I briefly kicked around a storyline about an animated MP running for election. When I say "animated", I mean literally animated. He was a cartoon - the political equivalent of Gorillaz - fashioned from state-of-the-art computer-generated imagery so that he could move and talk in real time, like Max Headroom. His speech would be provided on-the-fly by a professional cartoon voice artist working in conjunction with a team of political advisers and comedy writers, so he'd have an impish personality not dissimilar to the genie in Disney's Aladdin. Debating against him would be impossible because he'd make outrageously goonish statements one minute and trot out cunning political platitudes the next. Because he wasn't real, he'd never age, die, or be bogged down in scandal - and huge swathes of the population would vote for him just because they found him cool or fun or different.

 

Fast-forward to now. On May 1 London chooses its mayor, and I've got a horrible feeling it might pick Boris Johnson for similar reasons. Johnson - or to give him his full name, Boris LOL!!!! what a legernd!! Johnson!!! - is a TV character loved by millions for his cheeky, bumbling persona. Unlike the cartoon MP, he's magnetically prone to scandal, but this somehow only makes him more adorable each time. Tee hee! Boris has had an affair! Arf! Now he's offended the whole of Liverpool! Crumbs! He used the word "picaninnies"! Yuk yuk! He's been caught on tape agreeing to give the address of a reporter to a friend who wants him beaten up! Ho ho! Look at his funny blond hair! HA HA BORIS LOL!!!! WHAT A LEGERND!!!!!!

 

If butterfingers Johnson gets in, it'll clearly be a laugh riot from beginning to end, like a series of Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em in which Frank Spencer becomes mayor by mistake. Just picture him on live TV, appealing for calm after a terrorist bombing - the scope for chuckles is almost limitless.

 

Assisting Boris in his run, the London Evening Standard is running an openly hostile anti-Livingstone campaign, which means every other page carries a muckraking down-with-Ken piece from crusading journalist Andrew Gilligan, played by Blinky, the three-eyed fish from The Simpsons, in his byline photo. All the articles blend into one after a while, but their central implication is that Ken's a boozy egomaniac surrounded by a corrupt circus of cronies, so you might as well vote for a rightwing comedy pillock instead. You know, him off the telly. With the blond hair. LOL!!!! WHAT A LEGERND!!!!!

 

Now, even if the Standard photographs Ken carving a swastika into a dormouse's back, I'll vote for him for the following reasons:

 

1) I'm genetically predisposed to hate the Tories. It's my default, hard-wired position. If Boris wins, their simpering pudge-faced smuggery is going to be unbearable. Picture the expression Piers Morgan makes when he's especially pleased with himself, then multiply it by 10 million, and imagine it looming overhead like a Death Star. That's what it's going be like. Therefore I don't care who wins provided Johnson loses, and loses hard, preferably in close-up, on the telly.

 

2) Ken's other main rival is solid-but-dull Lib Dem candidate Brian Paddick. He probably deserves a shot, but as he's not going to win, voting for him would be a waste of a perfectly good X, which might otherwise be used to pinpoint buried treasure, indicate affection, or mark a plague victim's door.

 

3) I wouldn't trust Boris to operate a mop, let alone a £10bn Crossrail project.

 

4) On a related note, I don't believe in my gut that Boris gives even the faintest hint of a wisp of a glimpse of a toss about London, or indeed humanity in general. Both of which are fairly important in a job like this.

 

5) But on the other hand OMFG LOOK AT HIS FUNNEEE HAIR LOL!!!! BORRIS IS A LEGERND!!!!

 

Anyway, if the worst happens and Boris gets in, then provided he doesn't obliterate the capital in some hilarious slapstick disaster, or provoke war with Portsmouth with a chance remark - provided, in short, that London still exists in some recognisable form - the rival parties should fight fire with fire by running equally popular TV characters against him in the next election.

 

It doesn't even matter if they're real or not. Basil Brush would be a shoo-in. Churchill, the nodding dog from the car insurance ads - he'll do. Or if we're after the ironic vote, how about Gene Hunt from Life on Mars? Or Phil Mitchell? At least he's a Londoner.

 

They might as well. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and there's no more desperate sign of the times than the current wave of LOL OMFG!!!! BORIS DONE A GUFF!!!! ROFL!!!!!!! THE MAN IS A LEGERND I TELL YOU LOL!!!!! I CARNT WAIT 2 SEE HIM RUNNING THE INTIRE CITTY!!! BORRIS 4 KING!!! LOL!!! LOL!!! LOLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/20...iebrooker.boris

Edited by Happy Face

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Boris for PM, could you imagine it ;)

 

wish he was on have i got news for you again

 

 

You laugh, but thats his long term goal and I would certainly not bet against him.

 

He plays the buffoon very well but is also a very clever bloke and is well liked by a wide range of people.

 

And you think the British public would accept a buffoon as PM? I hope not.

 

Last time he was on QT he was embarassing, struggled to make any sense at all, like he was drunk or something.

 

You seem to forget the good people of London voted him in.

 

Whether or not his own party would make him leader is a different question all together. If they did I would say he would get voted in. You should watch that programme I referred too. As well as being an eye opener it was quite entertaining.

 

I wasn't forgetting that at all. The mayoral job is however completely different, and Londoners' voting habits do not reflect that of the UK as a whole. The program your referring to was docudrama wasn't it so can be taken with a pinch of salt - I'd still watch it for entertainment purposes mind. His performance on QT was fact though - the worst I have ever witnessed, seriously.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

that and i'd say nearly any student with a vote for london mayor did it for a laugh and the fact no one really cares who is mayor of london.

 

They will never ever ever vote for Boris to be in any position of actual power

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
that and i'd say nearly any student with a vote for london mayor did it for a laugh and the fact no one really cares who is mayor of london.

 

They will never ever ever vote for Boris to be in any position of actual power

 

 

If your talking about voters then firstly, Tories would.

 

This then leaves the 20,000 swing voters in the hundred seats that actually change governments. They tend to change every two terms or so and will just vote for the opposite party.

 

Then you have to throw Boris's character into the fray. A lot of people do find him quite amusing and amicable which can only be a good thing in an election.

 

It really all depends how long Cameron lasts and after seeing the docu drama last night about Cameron and having seen his first few actions in power, I think he could be here for a good while.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Couldn't see Red Ken as PM either tbh.

 

CT's tory love in is getting beyond a joke now like.

Michael Howard- now there's a bloke no-one can deny is lovable, down to earth, and a man of the people.

;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Couldn't see Red Ken as PM either tbh.

 

CT's tory love in is getting beyond a joke now like.

 

 

What do you expect from a Tory voter :icon_lol:

 

Im still not sure what you are you seem to sway a lot with the wind ;)

 

Anyway, the original comment was about the program which if your interested in politics, was very good. Having only read the Eton Toff stuff about Cameron, it was interesting to hear the facts from those that new him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Couldn't see Red Ken as PM either tbh.

 

CT's tory love in is getting beyond a joke now like.

Michael Howard- now there's a bloke no-one can deny is lovable, down to earth, and a man of the people.

;)

 

 

A horror of a man. :icon_lol:

 

195967504_b9e294340a_o.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Couldn't see Red Ken as PM either tbh.

 

CT's tory love in is getting beyond a joke now like.

 

 

What do you expect from a Tory voter :D

 

Im still not sure what you are you seem to sway a lot with the wind ;)

 

Anyway, the original comment was about the program which if your interested in politics, was very good. Having only read the Eton Toff stuff about Cameron, it was interesting to hear the facts from those that new him.

 

Just because you're a tory doesn't mean you can't be objective though. Take post 42 on here, why haven't you commented on the fact that Cameron fell on his arse after Bridget's question? It's of particular relevance to your locality after all.

 

It's far too early to tell if Cameron will make the grade as PM yet in any case, whatever your political stance. Yet you sound like you have a crush on him. :icon_lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally I think I'm the most objective person on here when it comes to party politics.

 

With regard to bridget, let's be objective and admit that it wouldn't have got a mention on here had it not being for her toontastic links.

 

With regard to the question itself he was very straight and said he didn't know but would write to her with an answer.

 

Bearing in mind they have been ib power a few weeks and every department is currently carrying out spending reviews / cuts, then it's quite understandable that the information is not clear yet.

 

It shows your lack of objectivity that you find it a big deal.

 

I would have been more impressed if she'd stood up and apologised on behalf of her party for the massive debt they have left us in and for the pain that millions of families are going to suffer because of their crass overspending.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As far as I'm aware, all initial questions for PMQT are pre-registered - so either his office screwed up or he had to say he didn't know because he wanted to avoid giving the actual answer - probably -"Of course we're cutting the grant - What point of we're going to fuck the NE over again did you not understand"?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
With regard to bridget, let's be objective and admit that it wouldn't have got a mention on here had it not being for her toontastic links.

 

With regard to the question itself he was very straight and said he didn't know but would write to her with an answer.

 

Bearing in mind they have been ib power a few weeks and every department is currently carrying out spending reviews / cuts, then it's quite understandable that the information is not clear yet.

 

It shows your lack of objectivity that you find it a big deal.

 

I would have been more impressed if she'd stood up and apologised on behalf of her party for the massive debt they have left us in and for the pain that millions of families are going to suffer because of their crass overspending.

 

I didn't say it was a 'big deal', but the point is it contradicts your post that Cameron was exceptionally good - your own completely subjective opinion. The commentator on Five Live pointed out that it was unusual for the PM not to have been more prepared than this, as he will be briefed on what is likely to be asked. And yes, of course the fact the question came from a former (I presume!) poster here makes it more interesting.

 

Personally I think I'm the most objective person on here when it comes to party politics.

 

Says it all, especially coming from a self-confessed 'dyed-in-the-wool' tory. You either are constantly on the wind up or you literally have no self-awareness of your hypocrisy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
As far as I'm aware, all initial questions for PMQT are pre-registered - so either his office screwed up or he had to say he didn't know because he wanted to avoid giving the actual answer - probably -"Of course we're cutting the grant - What point of we're going to fuck the NE over again did you not understand"?

 

 

Lol very funny

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
As far as I'm aware, all initial questions for PMQT are pre-registered - so either his office screwed up or he had to say he didn't know because he wanted to avoid giving the actual answer - probably -"Of course we're cutting the grant - What point of we're going to fuck the NE over again did you not understand"?

 

 

Lol very funny

 

The Conservatives following through on their promise to destroy the NE economy will be hilarious like.

Edited by Renton

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Renty,

 

unfortunately while on an Iphone and more importantly being driven by my "all over the road" wife I can't really get into this...(wife slams the brakes on again) yet.

 

I'll put you right when / if I get home tonight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Renty,

 

unfortunately while on an Iphone and more importantly being driven by my "all over the road" wife I can't really get into this...(wife slams the brakes on again) yet.

 

I'll put you right when / if I get home tonight.

 

;)

 

If wummery is your game, don't bother, honestly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
As far as I'm aware, all initial questions for PMQT are pre-registered - so either his office screwed up or he had to say he didn't know because he wanted to avoid giving the actual answer - probably -"Of course we're cutting the grant - What point of we're going to fuck the NE over again did you not understand"?

 

 

Lol very funny

 

The Conservatives following through on their promise to destroy the NE economy will be hilarious like.

 

 

The lol comment was at NJS's very dry humour not evil tory plans to punish the North East.

 

One however could see it as good that the PM recognises that the north east is over dependant on public sector jobs and just may try and do something about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
As far as I'm aware, all initial questions for PMQT are pre-registered - so either his office screwed up or he had to say he didn't know because he wanted to avoid giving the actual answer - probably -"Of course we're cutting the grant - What point of we're going to fuck the NE over again did you not understand"?

 

 

Lol very funny

 

The Conservatives following through on their promise to destroy the NE economy will be hilarious like.

 

 

The lol comment was at NJS's very dry humour not evil tory plans to punish the North East.

 

One however could see it as good that the PM recognises that the north east is over dependant on public sector jobs and just may try and do something about it.

 

Yep, just like they did last time.

 

It'll be interesting to see what becomes of the Nissan grant for starters, the fact he was either completely ignorant about it or won't commit to it is of concern, wouldn't you agree? That's a rhetorical question btw, I know your answer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Renty,

 

unfortunately while on an Iphone and more importantly being driven by my "all over the road" wife I can't really get into this...(wife slams the brakes on again) yet.

 

I'll put you right when / if I get home tonight.

 

;)

 

If wummery is your game, don't bother, honestly.

 

 

Alas dear yorik I think it is thee on the wummery trail :-)0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
One could see it as good that the PM recognises that the north east is over dependant on public sector jobs and just may try and do something about it.

 

By removing incentives to the private sector to employ up here?

 

;)

Edited by Happy Face

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

CT, you're definitely, absolutely, entirely, completely, utterly the least objective person on here with regards to policitcs. Not once can I recall you having a bad word to say about your Tories, You haven't once to my knowledge congratulated any good that's come from another party and your high-school fawning over David Cameron is a joke with a depressing message.

 

 

A young MP asks an awkward question of the PM and he is neither informed nor quick witted enough to answer it. Of course she gets a special mention on here, she once was an active member of the board. I bet most people couldn't give a toss which party she represents, it's that she is "known" to us and she's a junior MP pinning the leader of our Country with a question.

 

 

You really should be a correspondent on Fox News, "Fair and Balanced" they cry as they spit venom at the Democrats and suck the claggy turtleneck of every Red State political hack. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Couldn't see Red Ken as PM either tbh.

 

CT's tory love in is getting beyond a joke now like.

 

 

What do you expect from a Tory voter :D

 

Im still not sure what you are you seem to sway a lot with the wind ;)

 

Anyway, the original comment was about the program which if your interested in politics, was very good. Having only read the Eton Toff stuff about Cameron, it was interesting to hear the facts from those that new him.

 

Just because you're a tory doesn't mean you can't be objective though. Take post 42 on here, why haven't you commented on the fact that Cameron fell on his arse after Bridget's question? It's of particular relevance to your locality after all.

 

It's far too early to tell if Cameron will make the grade as PM yet in any case, whatever your political stance. Yet you sound like you have a crush on him. :icon_lol:

 

I tell you what Renton - being no fan of Cameron I'm still glad he gave the response he did rather than make something up on the spot (which we're all quick to know politicians for).

 

I do feel that he couldn't win in this situation tbh - unrealistic to expect him to there and then know the answer to every question that was thrown at him at the first PMQ (unless he had prior knowledge of what questions they'd be which, IMO would make a mockery of the whole event), had he answered definitively and guessed, most likely getting it wrong he'd have been forever berated for it so he gave the only answer he could given and still that's no right.

 

There's not liking the fella and what he stands for and there's the of prejudging everything he says with that sentiment.

 

What did you expect of him in reply to Bridget?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
As far as I'm aware, all initial questions for PMQT are pre-registered - so either his office screwed up or he had to say he didn't know because he wanted to avoid giving the actual answer - probably -"Of course we're cutting the grant - What point of we're going to fuck the NE over again did you not understand"?

 

 

Lol very funny

 

The Conservatives following through on their promise to destroy the NE economy will be hilarious like.

 

Actually.....

 

Mr Cameron's office has confirmed support for plans by his Lib Dem Deputy PM Nick Clegg to help areas such as Wearside and the North East which heavily depend on public sector jobs.

 

The announcement came after Labour claimed the Tories would "punish" the North East with huge cuts in the wake of remarks made by Mr Cameron regarding the size of the public sector in the region.

 

I don't remember him ever saying he'd destroy the econony. Did claim that that public sector in the region was large but doesn't actually state what you say.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Personally I think I'm the most objective person on here when it comes to party politics

 

That's funny... you was saying something remarkably similar about me in another thread ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


Recent tweets

Toontastic Facebook

Donate to Toontastic

Keeping the lights on since... well ages ago
TT-Staff


×