Jump to content

What's Currently Wrong With You


Jan
 Share

Recommended Posts

10 hours ago, thebrokendoll said:

aye, get fixed really quickly @RobinRobin

bit miffed youve stolen my thunder though with your minor ailment.

 

 

;)

Thanks.

You just need another "pitbull" incident.  Must try harder. :smile:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Toonpack said:

Take care RR hope all is well.

 

Trust someone in Aussie to have better ailment than us in pomland, it’s not the Ashes ffs

If it were, at least the local Pom would be winning :wink2:

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good luck Robin, was going to regale you with the tale of a mate of mine who had similar and now has a pacemaker (put in around 35) but now Gemmill has one upped that I've got nought else to say.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 weeks later...

I think I’m struggling. My dads death has hit me harder than I thought, and at random times. 
 

Im having a hard time dealing with the fact I might need to move back to boro to look after my seriously disabled brother, I moved away from that shit hole for a reason.

 

I don’t want to put him in a home when my mam dies, but I don’t want to move back either. I have built a life here and it’s probably selfish but I don’t want to leave it to care for someone who with all the will in the world might not even recognise me.

 

How is someone meant to weigh these decisions up man? 

  • Like 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

41 minutes ago, strawb said:

I think I’m struggling. My dads death has hit me harder than I thought, and at random times. 
 

Im having a hard time dealing with the fact I might need to move back to boro to look after my seriously disabled brother, I moved away from that shit hole for a reason.

 

I don’t want to put him in a home when my mam dies, but I don’t want to move back either. I have built a life here and it’s probably selfish but I don’t want to leave it to care for someone who with all the will in the world might not even recognise me.

 

How is someone meant to weigh these decisions up man? 

I wish I could help you, mate. Hopefully you can find a middle path or have a word with some professionals who isn't your mam for advice and guidance regarding your brother as you obviously want what's best for you both. Hope you find a way. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Condolences strawb. Take care of yourself.

Mate as HMHM says have a chat to a disabled care professional about your brother. I know from my family that people will struggle and refuse help/alternatives because of the emotion involved.

And it doesn't really help anyone, especially someone like your brother.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aye it sounds very difficult Strawb, thats an understatement for sure. 

Echo what HMHM and Sammy have said, definitely look for some professional help, it's a big ask to straighten out what is going on with all that has happened with you on your own and you don't need to do it alone.

Is there any way you could move your brother to somewhere closer to you rather than going back to Boro?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good luck Strawb. Not got any good ideas but echo what others say. Take care. If I know you, you will work it out and find the right help. You need to grieve first and things may be easier to consider when your mind is clearer. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear this strawb. I don't really have anything to add to what others have said, but definitely speak to a professional who can help you with this. Both from a care point of view for your brother, and from the point of view of your own mental health. 

 

And don't feel bad about feeling "selfish". Anyone would be feeling the same as you. It's an incredible amount to ask/expect of someone and you need someone to help you navigate it all and come to the right answer for you as well as your brother. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, strawb said:

I think I’m struggling. My dads death has hit me harder than I thought, and at random times. 
 

Im having a hard time dealing with the fact I might need to move back to boro to look after my seriously disabled brother, I moved away from that shit hole for a reason.

 

I don’t want to put him in a home when my mam dies, but I don’t want to move back either. I have built a life here and it’s probably selfish but I don’t want to leave it to care for someone who with all the will in the world might not even recognise me.

 

How is someone meant to weigh these decisions up man? 


Sorry again for your loss mate.

 

i don’t think that sounds selfish at all. we all want the best for our family but your brother isn’t your responsibility and you shouldn’t feel at all guilty for not wanting to give up your life to look after him. That would be an unbelievably selfless thing to do. I agree with Andrew that moving him somewhere near you is probably the best solution for you

both. Good luck navigating this period. Things will get better 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, strawb said:

I think I’m struggling. My dads death has hit me harder than I thought, and at random times. 
 

Im having a hard time dealing with the fact I might need to move back to boro to look after my seriously disabled brother, I moved away from that shit hole for a reason.

 

I don’t want to put him in a home when my mam dies, but I don’t want to move back either. I have built a life here and it’s probably selfish but I don’t want to leave it to care for someone who with all the will in the world might not even recognise me.

 

How is someone meant to weigh these decisions up man? 

 

I'm sorry for your situation Strawb. Must be 10 weeks since my Dad died and honestly despite counselling I don't feel much better yet. I guess it just takes time. Is your mother ill as well at the moment or are you catastrophising a bit here? That's a rut I've got into unfortunately, I recognise I need to get out of it. 

 

As others have said, take professional help and advice regarding your brother. Don't do things out of a sense of duty and don't romanticise about doing "the right thing". You do have a new life now and connections with other people. Abandoning that won't help you, your close ones, or by the sounds of it, your brother. Aye, you are going to need professional help to deal with this I think. All the best mate. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cheers lads. It’s good to be able to vent sometimes.

 

My mother isn’t ill, but she is pushing 70 so won’t be around for ever. 
 

We have appropriate care for my brother, I sorted that prior to dads death as my mam can’t handle it on her own. He lives in my mam and dads house that we kitted out with an annex to suit his needs (hoist/wet room etc), and I directly employed 3 carers using his independence benefits that come 3 times a day. My current plan is to leave him in that house with live in care eventually but then I will just worry I’m relying on people doing what they say they will do when I’m not there.

 

Things will settle down when I can think about everything properly

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Take care Strawb mate- got to look after yourself first before you can look after your brother’s affairs. 
As you’ve said above, if your bro is safe and well as things are, don’t do anything until you’ve had the time to process losing your Dad and all that entails. 
👍

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can't add anything that hasn't already been said Strawb. Losing a parent is horrendous enough without the additional pressures & responsibilities you obviously feel. 

Never feel selfish for putting yourself first - if you don't take care of yourself, you can't hope to take care of others.

 

All the best mate.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 6 months later...

Currently hobbling out of work early after slipping and popping a groin strain ( ooer missus, etc etc :lol: ). 
 

Had to drive back from Morpeth with gritted teeth- the A1 was fine, cruise control, but Wideopen -Heaton was a nonstop stream of 

“Oooyamuthafuckingbastidingtwat”at every pothole and bump in the road, of which there are many. 
 

Heading home for waves of sympathy from Mrs. F.… *
 

 

 

 

 

 

* “ What have you done that for you daft shite?” 


FML. :lol:

 

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Currently hobbling out of work early after slipping and popping a groin strain ( ooer missus, etc etc :lol: ). 
 

Had to drive back from Morpeth with gritted teeth- the A1 was fine, cruise control, but Wideopen -Heaton was a nonstop stream of 

“Oooyamuthafuckingbastidingtwat”at every pothole and bump in the road, of which there are many. 
 

Heading home for waves of sympathy from Mrs. F.… *
 

 

 

 

 

 

* “ What have you done that for you daft shite?” 


FML. :lol:

 


Pray for the shed  :lol: 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Fucking Viral Conjunctivitis.

 

Had to take a photo for the Optician. Eyes are so swollen I look like I'm pulling 8G. 

  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, The Fish said:

Fucking Viral Conjunctivitis.

 

Had to take a photo for the Optician. Eyes are so swollen I look like I'm pulling 8G. 

Is that similar to xG?

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.